Betta Lemme - Play | İzlesene.com - hot.playbestrealmoneygame.xyz

Good mooorning, campers! You showed the judges none of you were playing games this week!

Please welcome your judges panel!

The judges have deliberated and made their decisions. Will the following campers please step forward...
Emily 8y3....

Due to submitting past the grace period, you were ineligible to place in the top, and you have placed Safe this week. You can review your critiques, and the audience can see your critiques, in this doc.

The rest of you represent the tops and bottoms of the week. Your placements will be included after critiques, which will be delivered in the order that the looks album was presented.

Lucy Furr

Mai: Psy-cnt got thiccc. I love the choices of inspiration with cyberpunk and retro futurism. They all go together and show you really considered the fact that you’re working with the mech archetype. The rendering is gorgeous with the way you handled the glow effect, and then the orange hair adds such a beautiful pop. And then all of the cat-themed accessories. I loveeee. As for the actual design themselves though, I think there are some things that can be edited to really streamline it down. Most notably the chains, which I think is unnecessary, especially on Psy-cnt. I think the chain’s fighting for attention too much from the shibari knots on her thighs (which imo is the stronger element for the story you’re telling)
Maka: CYBERPUSS 2077. You quite literally pimped out miss PSY this week, this glow wire shibari dress and this glowing fish bone Mohawk are so cool (not to mention your girl is looking THICC). I love the way that you posed you and your partner this week, it really helped sell you being this futuristic pimp dragging your robot escort around, and the fluorescent orange hair to match PSY’s face panel was a clever choice. That being said I feel like your look feels a little unbalanced, I would’ve liked some tailored pants instead of these leggings with the shibari rope going down one side. I also feel like the hat could’ve been jushed a little bit, maybe a bigger brim and more angular shape to match the futuristic feel. Your work is polished as always, it just needs a little push to get you to that triple a level.
Gretel: hello miss puss-the textures the rendering the colors, big pimpin. I appreciate all the beautiful details and the color story here, your partner looks particularly cool and the head piece is poppin. The elements you added to Psy transformed her enough for the gag but you still maintained/referenced elements of her original design in a chic way. Applause. I think it falls short at Lucy’s look and her outfit feels more random to me. But not in an eclectic way. The jacket and the shoes are terrific but maybe there were a few things that could be streamlined to give that head to toe sci-fi pimp lewk.

Narcissus

Mai: I. LOVE. THIS. SO. MUCH. Your lineart is so beautiful and it adds this children's storybook element to the pieces. The colors are just bright, warm, and happy. I love how Beargor looks like a carefree princess, while Narcissus is her loyal confidant. I appreciate how for Narcissus you focus all of the volume on top, while Beargor is the opposite. It makes them look like they belong together without making them look too similar. This btw is my favorite look from Narc this entire season. You deserve a fucking vacation after this, cuz all thsoe flowers traditionally jfc.
Maka: Hey clown! Jester. You have done it again, constantly raising the bar for the circus. This is exactly what I needed from a makeover challenge, I love that you really made something really soft and beautiful for Beargor while keeping his strong masculine proportions. I’m a sucker for floral motifs and warm colors so your look immediately caught my attention. I love how meticulously you rendered this Midsommar bouquet around your head, and then this little clown hat is just the cherry on top. I think I would’ve liked a little tiara or maybe a little more of an adventurous updo on Beargor (@wigchapel on insta has some fun examples) to match your baby hat, but other than that you delivered two soft summertime looks, perfect for the midway. Great job, this is your best work so far.
Gretel: hello my dude- I will come clean and say I love this look. It’s a little clown a little floral , and although the color scheme is giving me ketchup and mustard - I’m eating it up. This more whimsical style , the lineart the shapes- I really like for this makeover. I can tell this was thoughtful. Beargor could have handled bigger proportions for the hair and shouldecollar area but it’s still on the level. I also would have maybe suggested some sparkle or jushing to the pants and skirt to match the impact of the upper half. But that’s nitpicking.
If I could give you some advice it would be to continue what you’re doing and also pump up the volume to the extreme! and add a little shine,shimmer, light,gloss-something that takes things away from being so matte. Great work this week !

Juliana Lavarropas

Mai: Okay Stop Watch looks absolutely beautiful. I love how much effort and thoughts you put into his design here. You were able to pick out pieces from his original design and then changed them up so at first glance you still see Stop Watch but in a different skin. My favorite piece here is the cape with the designs and the numbers. As much as I love the movements in your outfit, I think the design feels a bit lackluster compared to Stop Watch’s. I appreciate how streamlined and i can see that you’ve edited down just like the critiques we’ve been giving you. Unfortunately I think you’ve dialed down a littttttle too much this week
Maka: I immediately clocked the Dali reference as soon as I saw your looks, this was such a clever and refined choice for your time lord villain. I love how you took the melting clock and made it into this really cool collar, it has a very whimsical cuckoo clock feel, especially with all the swirling clock hands. I feel like the posing feels a little imbalanced between the two of you, the way you posed Juliana so dynamically makes Stop Watch look very stiff in comparison, I think really exaggerating the angle of the back bend would’ve made the look feel a little more dramatic, would’ve let you showcase the walking stick (a cool detail which gets kinda lost) a little better, really help sell the melting feeling. Overall you served us two works art, great job.
Gretel:tick tick bitch , hah HAAAA. I really like the reference here! The connection to your character is imaginative and whimsical, this was a great opportunity to push it. And you did. The colors and textures are interesting and keep the eye moving around which makes me want to zoom in and see what each and every form is. The looks are a success
Just a side note but I think it would be helpful, so we can focus on the drag and the fashion:
The characters bodies are very wobbly and stopwatch was given T rex arms and a conical torso.Juliana is a little - wacky arm flailing inflatable arm tube man.I think it would be helpful to sketch out the full body pose and make sure the proportions only add to the success of an overall look instead of distract from it. If you’re ever in doubt, mirror your sketch, show a friend or mentor and see if there is anything distractingly off. That’s all- great work!

Daphne DuBois

Mai: This activates my fight or flight response ALSDFJKSL SPEED IN THONG. AHHHHHHHH Okay okay, I needa to collect myself omg. I fucking love this so much. The gaggery and the faggetry of it all. They legit look like a couple in a really shit-post video that years down the line people would look back at the gifs and be like “how was this game real?” This look is actually quite chic on Daphne. I’m so glad you didn’t do another big skirt silhouette this week. The asymmetrical collar with the rings is really cool. I love the primary color palette as a knock to a certain series that we definitely did not bootleg for this archetype. And then Speed is just iconic, I can’t
Maka: Daphne I am dead. Deceased. This has killed me. The thong with SPEED written across it? The literal rat hooker? Comedy gold. I read your description with tears in my eyes. I love that we finally got to see a fun silly side of Daphne (in something other than a gown!) I think the use of the CYmK palette and the rings and fox tails were clever and I love a good tailored suit (even though the hips feel a little lumpy, I would’ve liked them as more defined points). Speed’s look feels a little thrown together next to Daphne, I would’ve liked a bit of the tailoring from your look carried onto Speed (though the chunky ring chain was a solid choice) and even though they’re serving a more masc look, I still would’ve liked a little maybe a touch of eyeshadow and a subtle lash to help their eyes pop. Anyway, I’m glad to see that you had fun this week, Pimp Daddy Speed the Tweed owns my ass.
Gretel: the gag. My pimp cup is full.
I love Speed’s thong and Rattona is the real star.I appreciate this departure from your more traditional dresses.
Because Speed is in just a thong and boots , I would have loved to see his coat be a real wow pow silhouette or design- that would have taken me there. To funky town.
Lila Chameleon
Mai: Oh bitch this is a complete SERVE. I love how you used the fact that Blara is all angles and went all in on that direction. The result is simply amazing and pure high fashion. There are so many great design choices here, from the shoes to the joined jacket to the stitching into the skirt on Blara. They look like the evil henchmen duo that took the protagonists 2 seasons and a half just to land a scratch on them. I just love everything you did this week
Maka: Baddest bitch on the block? HA. I AM THE BLOCK. Going with the cubist angle with Blara was a Galaxy-brained move on your part, I love that you took her angular style and took it in an unexpected direction. I love these colorful 80s palettes and silhouettes and how you quite literally connected them with this giant conjoined blazer, a lot of really clever design elements. I think if I have to nitpick, I would’ve liked a bright pop of yellow in your hair or makeup to draw some attention to your face, but otherwise solid design work. A serve from every angle.
Gretel: these are gorgeous looks. A really nice intersection between draggy camp and wearable fashion with a twist. The shapes , the family resemblance, something as simple the coats stitched together. Divine.
Each and every piece is well designed from the shoes and jackets to Polígonas skirt. Everything is special but works together. I maybe would have loved slightly bigger hair? Great work this week.
The judges have made their decisions.
Juliana Lavarropas, this week, your time-stopping makeover of Stop Watch had the judges... dalí-ghted. I know that doesn't actually work as a pun but pretend it does. Great work this week, you have placed High.
Lila Chameleon, this week, you didn't get blocked--you edged out your competitors. Great work this week, you have placed High.
Narcissus, jester, you have done it again. Your flowery festival fashion was en pointe, and your makeover was the bear of the ball. Condragulations, you are the winner of this week's challenge! You have won Beargor.
Lucy Furr, this week, your makeover and concept were electric. But the judges got a bit lost in space, finding your designs a bit too eclectic.
Daphne DuBois... Your pimp-my-possum makeover of Speed the Tweed brought sexy back. But what the judges thought you didn't bring back was the fashion.
Two pimps stand before me. I'm sorry my dears, but you are up for elimination.
This week's lipsync song is "Play" by Betta Lemme. The lipsync looks and elimination will be revealed in a few hours at 1 PM PST.
See you there! xoxo

Betta Lemme - Mommy

Why Azhag is the coolest Git there is

✨ we out here, lookin to vibe with peeps ✨

Mommy's Back Part 2

Part 1
The first thing Dan was aware of upon regaining consciousness was the dull throbbing pain deep in his skull. The taste of copper filled his mouth. He struggled to open his eyes and could barely make anything out through his blurred vision. He could see a figure standing in front of him. Nothing more than a shape in the darkened room. He could hear the rain pelting against a window in front of him. He must have been out for hours because the daylight was waning considerably. A flash of lightning lit the shape of the window and defined the thick ominous silhouette in front of it. Moments later, thunder cracked like a gunshot.
“BECKY!” the shrill voice dug into his ears like ice picks. “HE’S WAKIN!”
Dan groaned and tried to move but he was stuck in a sitting position. A shape appeared directly in front of his vision and waned in and out of focus. He could just barely make out two sunken eyes and a broad disgusting grin.
“Well hey there feller.” the voice came again in a mock soothing tone. “Aw didja get a big ol’ wack upside yer noggin?” He felt a clammy hand slap the side of his face lightly a couple of times.
Dan groaned again, his head bobbed side to side on his shoulders as he struggled to move. His arms felt bolted to his sides and he could feel hard poles strapped to the back of his legs. His vision focused a bit more and his lap began to finally come into view. He could make out a rope wrapped tightly around his torso. His hands were the only thing he could move as his arms were tightly bound straight along his sides and he was strung tightly to a high backed chair. He wiggled his hands around reaching for any sort of purchase.
The woman laughed loudly, spraying a hot putrid breath directly in his face. He raised his gaze to meet hers as another flash lit her face up. When the darkness returned a photo negative of her hideous features was burned into his retinas. Dan considered with a scowl just how ugly she was as thunder rumbled.
“N’whatchoo thank you gon do with them lil dick beaters?” she slapped him across the face much harder this time. His left cheek flashed hot with a burning sting. “You dumb cocksucker.” she stepped back and spat in his face. The gooey blob hit him in his right eyebrow dripped into his eye and along the bridge of his nose. Dan gagged at the filthy smell of her.
“Well whatcha doin, Danny Boy? Gon an wipe yer damn face ya fuckin animal!” she spouted another horrendous burst of laughter.
Dan roared with frustration and tried to thrash his body around. The chair began to dance. The feet pounding an erratic beat on the floor. Eilene threw herself into him with the force of a football tackle. The chair flung backward and hit the floor with a loud smack. She landed straddling his chest with enough velocity to knock the wind completely from his lungs.
“You stupit fuck!” she bellowed as Dan gasped for air. She grabbed him on the sides of his head and stuck her thumbs into his eyes. He squeezed his eyelids shut with a yelp of terror. She pushed down until his eyeballs began to throb with pain. “I’ll pluck yer damn eyes outta yer fuckin skull, ya dumb prick!”
“No!” Dan could barely force the word out as he was still struggling to take a breath. He felt suffocated under her crushing weight. “Please!” he managed, a bit louder this time.
“Control yourself please, Eilene.” A familiar voice in a calm tone.
“Oh. Hey Becky.” Eilene said. Her tone had shifted so drastically from her previous fury that it deeply unsettled Dan. “Jus warmin ‘im up for ya.” She said hopping to her feet. She rounded the back of the chair. Dan opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of her inverted smiling face before she flipped the chair back up onto its feet and he was suddenly face to face with Rebecca.
“Becky…” Dan said in a whisper.
Another bright flash. Another bark of thunder.
Rebecca was wearing a clean aqua colored blouse and a pair of tight low cut blue jeans she must have found in the closet of the master bedroom. They seemed to fit her just right. She sauntered up to Dan and reached out and touched his cheek. She caressed the area that had reddened beneath his stubble. “I thought I told you not to touch him before I spoke to him.” she said calmly.
“Well dis dirty pig fucker was gettin smart.” Eilene spat.
“Why don’t you give us a minute?” Rebecca gave Eilene a bright smile.
Eilene stared at Rebecca for a long moment. She huffed loudly and cast a truculant glare at Dan. “All be takin account of the contents in da kitchen. Hollar if ya need me.” she said before stamping out of the room.
Rebecca walked slowly up to Dan and ran her hand through his hair. He tried to shake her hand away, yanking his head side to side.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” he bellowed. His words were emphasized by a roar of thunder.
His shout did not deter Rebecca in the slightest. Instead she gripped the back of his head more roughly and stepped even closer. She slid onto his lap, straddling him and pressed his head between her breasts, holding him tightly against her body. He screamed again, his voice muffled by her stiff embrace.
“Shhh Daniel. Hush now sweetheart.” She was stroking the back of his head as his scream turned into a single desperate sob. “There, there baby. I just want to talk to you.”
Rebecca leaned back with her arms around his neck and their eyes met. Her’s glowed with a sparkling shine while his burned at her like hot coals. They sat there in silence for a long moment before Dan finally spoke in a low growl.
“What do you want, Rebecca?”
“Aw you only call me Rebecca when you're mad.” She giggled “Why ya being such a sour puss.” her voice was high and playful.
“You tried to murder MY SON!” he jerked his body with a sudden ferocity. She remained cool with her arms around his neck.
“Our son, silly.” she cooed.
“You got no right to call yourself a mother you fucking psychopath!” Dan struggled some more but he was still bound tightly to the chair.
“Listen Dan, I just want to talk about us. Can we do that?”
“No!” he was clenching his teeth so hard his jaw was throbbing. “The best thing you could possibly do for yourself is let me go before you do something stupid.”
“The only stupid thing I’ve done is let you prevent me from doing God’s work.” she said suddenly as serious as cancer.
Dan glowered at her. The faux jovial attitude had completely left Rebecca as she stared back with a eerie blank expression. For a moment it was as if she was not herself at all but only a husk of a human, devoid of any soul or consciousness. Then with a snap her faculties returned and she shoved herself off of him and took a step back.
“I had a lot of time to think about everything.” She said. “The doctors at the hospital had sessions with me for hours every day. They tried to tell me I had done something terrible but they couldn’t possibly understand. Doctors are obsessed with facts and theories, they cant wrap their heads around the fact that science cant explain everything.” She twirled a finger through a strand of her long unruly brown hair as she began to pace back and forth in front of Dan. “But they did manage to help me with one thing.” Her eyes held the thousand yard stare of a soldier who had seen horrendous things on the battlefield, seeming to look through the walls into a faraway place. “They helped me pin down the moment I had been chosen by God.”
“You’re delusional!” Dan shouted.
“Yes! That’s it!” she beamed. “That’s the word they used all the time! Delusions. Psychosis.” she snickered. “You’re as clueless as they were.”
“I’m not clueless Rebecca! I know exactly what you did!” Dan felt his blood boiling. A sheen of sweat caused his forehead to glisten under the ceiling light.
“Yeah but you don’t understand why I had to do it, Daniel.” she approached him again and placed a hand on his cheek. He jerked away again. “That’s why we’re here, Dan. God’s plan put us in this room together. So that I can help you understand.”
“I don’t want to understand your twisted bullshit!” Dan continued to flex his arms beneath his bindings. Trying to find any sort of room to manuever.
“It’s not about what you want. You can’t change fate. Like I said I was chosen by God. So you can listen like a good boy or I can call Eilene back in to gag you and force you to shut the fuck up, and I can’t promise to control her. She has a thing about men.” Rebecca smiled leaning in close to Dan’s face. “Performing a castration is on her bucket list, ya know.”
“Why are you running around with that psycho? She’s a damn serial killer!”
“Eilene understands.” Rebecca turned her back to him. “She gets it.” she turned back around and bent forward, looking deep into Dan’s eyes. “By the way, how are you feeling? I gave you enough of my night time medication from the hospital to knock out a horse probably.”
Dan said nothing but he realized his thoughts were still very foggy. He had thought it was just from the blow to his head and had considered it could be a concussion.
“I pretended to take it every night for a few weeks and just stashed them in a hole in my mattress. Didn’t you think your tea tasted a little funny?” She laughed.
“What the fuck did you give me?” Dan growled.
“Oh I dunno.” she said shrugging her shoulders. “They don’t bother to tell you what drugs they’re pumping you full of. They just call it your medicine.” she made quotations with her fingers. “But I knew we had a plan to get out and I thought they would come in handy. You see the shit they give you in there isn’t supposed to really make you better. It’s meant to suppress you. Turn you into a rule following zombie.”
“I don’t even know who you are.” Dan muttered. “What happened to the woman I married?”
“She woke up, Dan!” for the first time her voice departed from it’s tone of peacefulness. “I had God on my side from the beginning but I had blocked him out! I couldn’t face the trauma I had experienced and it wasn’t until I opened that door that I finally heard His voice again and he told me what I had to do!”
“God told you to drown our child!?” Dan was almost hysterical.
“Oh he told me to do so much more than that! If you hadn’t interfered we would all be in paradise by now!” she stopped and took a deep breath, seeming to collect herself again.
“When I was little I lost both my parents.” she said quietly.
“Yes I know. In a car accident.”
“No, Dan.” she met his gaze again. “That’s the story I would tell since I was a child. I told it so many times that I even believed it myself. The truth is so much worse.”
Rebecca continued to pace back and forth in silence for a long while. The only sound was the pounding of the rain and the occasional distant groans of thunder. Dan squeezed his eyes shut, struggling to suppress the dull painful ache in his head. After what seemed like forever Rebecca began to speak again.
“I cant remember a happy time before that day. All I can remember is pain. Every night my father would hurt me.” Dan could see tears welling in her eyes as she spoke. “The only comfort I ever felt came from my mother. I remember her singing to me as she put me to bed. Momma was the warmest person I’ve ever known. She would tuck me in at night and kiss my forehead and call me her little angel.” she turned away from Dan again and he watched her fists clench.
“Then I would wake up some time in the night and my father would be stumbling into my room. He’d throw himself on top of me stinking like stale beer. His hands would be grabbing, scratching me and pulling at my pajamas.” She turned and looked at Dan, tears were rolling down her cheeks in rivers now.
“He hurt me, Dan.” she sobbed. “One night he hurt me so bad. I thought he would split me in half. There was so much blood. I screamed and he tried to cover my mouth but Momma woke up. She must have known because she came running in with a knife screaming for him to get off of me.” Rebecca’s eyes closed and her hands dropped to her sides. She looked so pitiful in that moment.
“He.. he… he grabbed her and twisted the knife out of her hand and I could hear her bone snap. The way she screamed…” She shuddered. “He threw the knife and knocked her on the ground jumping on top of her and he just… he just started hitting her face as hard as he could.”
Rebecca slumped down in the corner and pulled her knees up to her chest wrapping her arms around them. Dan imagined her as small child sitting in that same position in the corner of her bed. Lightning flickered, painting her in it’s pale blueness.
“Momma was screaming at first begging him to stop. Each punch sounded so brutal. After a while she stopped making any noise but he didn’t stop he just kept hitting her and hitting her. Blood was covering the carpet. I couldn’t take anymore. I hopped out of bed and grabbed the knife and stuck it as hard as I could in his back. He screamed and fell on top of Momma. I was so scared he would get up and hurt me again so I yanked the knife out and stabbed him again. Then again and again. He tried to say something but blood just poured out of his mouth all over Momma’s nightgown. I stabbed him so many times. It was forever before he stopped squirming. But I didn’t stop either. I wasn’t scared anymore. I was furious. I wanted to hurt him so badly for all the times he hurt me. For how he had beaten Momma until I couldn’t recognize her face anymore.” Rebecca looked up into Dan’s shocked face.
“That’s when He came to me.” She hugged herself and smiled closing her eyes. “That’s when I heard the voice of God for the first time. He told me I had done the right thing. He told me he had chosen me to be destined for amazing things.” Rebecca got back to her feet and started back pacing again.
“The police asked me so many questions. They ended up sending me to some facility because they didn’t believe I could hear God. Nobody believed me. They sent me to doctor after doctor and made me swallow every kind of pill imaginable. Eventually one of those pills made it so I couldn’t hear him anymore.” she said this last part with a pained expression on her face. Dan remembered her collection of pill bottles that had littered their bathroom counter. “Then they sent me to a foster home. I was a good girl after that. I always took my medicine. I went back to school and tried to live a normal life. I learned never to tell this story. I lied so much that I believed it myself.” Rebecca walked closer to Dan again and he leaned away from her. “ I spent years burying everything deep down and I completely forgot about God and his plan for me.” she reached out and touched his shoulder. “That’s when I met you, Dan.”
The moment she finished speaking a bold streak of electric fury zig zagged across the window and was immediately followed by an eruption of earsplitting madness. The entire house seemed to quake. Vibrations beneath their feet, glass rattling in the window panes, the creak and slam of a tall thick pine tree falling and slapping the earth outside.
Dan continued to stare at Rebecca. All those pills she used to take, anti-anxiety, anti-depression, and even anti-psychotic. He had always known her issues had stemmed from the loss of her parents but he never knew just how traumatic the event actually was. She wasn’t a would-be murderer. Connor wouldn’t have been her first.
“If I had known…” he said.
“What then, Dan? If you… if anyone had known, nobody would have wanted me in their life. I managed to build a fairly normal life with you. I thought I was okay. I was sick of swallowing a handful of pills every day. I flushed them all.” She turned and looked out the window. “It only took a couple days. Then God spoke to me and I remembered His warmth.” She turned back around and looked into Dan’s eyes. “He said he wanted me by his side. He said to bring anyone I love with me before they could be tempted into hell.”
“You’re fucking insane!” Dan finally screamed in response. “Do you think any of this makes a difference!?”
“I have no intention of anything being different, Daniel. I just thought I could shed some light on the situation for you. I want you to know I’m doing this because I love you and our children. Soon you will thank me. Then we can all be together forever.” She said, with a warm and sincere smile on her face.
“Nobody’s going anywhere with you! You will NOT lay a hand on my kids!” Dan was straining every muscle to thrash out of the chair but his bindings wouldn’t budge.
“Actually,” she said playfully, reaching into her pocket. “We will all be together soon.” She pulled a phone out of her pocket and clicked it on. Dan could see the image of his happy children as his face glowed with its blue light. “I found your texts with the sitter and asked her to drop the kids off here. Their on their way.”
“NO!” Dan errupted into a frenzy, throwing everything he had into trying to break free from the chair. “I’ll fucking kill you if you touch them!” The chair was rocking dangerously back and forth as Rebecca turned and walked toward the door. “Don’t you fucking walk away!” The chair nearly tipped over to the right then swung back the other way and fell down on the left side. Dan’s left side exploded with pain as he smacked into the floor.
At the door Rebecca turned back to Dan with a disappointed glance. “Relax honey. Why don’t you just lay there and think about things for a while.” She left the room and closed the door behind her.
Dan tried everything to avoid breaking down completely. He was on the verge of hysterics now. The chair was digging painfully into his body in his new position. “No. No. No.” he muttered, banging his head against the floor in despair with each word.
Time passed as the rain continued to come down in sheets. Lightning flashed consistently accompanied by a perpetual rolling of thunder. What must have been minutes felt like hours as the room suffocated him, as if he were fated to be confined there in an eternity of torment.
After what must have been the longest fifteen minutes of Dan’s life. The door to the bedroom swung open and Eilene stalked into the room. “Howdy Danny Boy! Ya miss me?” she chortled when she spotted him turned over on the floor. “Well whatchoo doin down there again, Silly?”
“Fuck off.” Dan grunted.
Eilene stomped over and kicked Dan hard in the gut. The air left his lungs completely. He felt the pinch as they sharply deflated. “Rude piece a shit!” she screamed as she slammed her foot into him again. “I try ta be nice and what!?” Dan was gasping desperately for a breath. She raised her foot again and stomped hard on the side of his head, banging it off the floor and Dan’s vision flashed white.
Dan struggled to fill his lungs again, praying that another blow wasn’t forthcoming. He opened his eyes and Eilene’s face was inches from his, grinning her horrid grin. “Better?” she asked sarcastically. “Lemme know if ya need me ta smack anymore sense into ya.” She rounded the back of the chair and hauled it back to its feet. The feet clacked against the hardwood floor.
“Lissen here.” Eilene stood in front of Dan and held her hand in front of his face. She was holding his Glock. “I promised my friend Becky I’d help ‘er pull dis off. So if you try any funny shit, I’ma use dis here pissel and blow yer damn brains outta yer head.”
“Funny shit?” Dan said weakly.
Eilene swung the gun with shocking speed. The hard metal cracked across Dan’s face, splitting his left temple. Pain shot through his head and he felt an immediate gush of warmth bloom from the point of impact. Blood dripped down the side of his face and soaked into the collar of his shirt. She pressed the barrel into his opposite temple, the cold of the metal in bold contrast to the warmth of the blood.
“Keep yer damn mouf shut.” She demanded, emphasizing each syllable.
She strutted away from him, whistling a tone deaf tune. Dan’s head was floating as she made her exit. He felt blinding pain in his temple and thought he might pass out. He clenched the muscles in his arms in legs trying to suppress his lightheaded stupor. Dan felt a hard object pressing against his right thigh through his jeans. He shook his head trying to shake the fog over his thoughts and concentrate. He knew it wasn’t his phone because Rebecca had it, but some desperate need within him caused him to hold on to a thread of hope that he had some way out of this. Suddenly it occurred to him. He distinctly remembered pocketing the small putty knife in the front yard.
Hope bloomed within his heart. Dan tried to force his hand closer to the knife but his arms were strapped tight to his side. The knife was inches away from his finger tips. No matter how hard he stretched there was no way to reach it.
Exhaling completely, Dan could feel the ropes loosen the slightest bit. He reached for the knife again. No dice. He began fingering his pants trying to move the fabric under his fingers. His sweat was making it difficult to get any kind of grip on his denim jeans. Dan finally managed to pinch a fold of his jeans between his thumb and forefinger. He tried to breath for a second, not wanting to lose progress in his excitement. Slowly he reached his fingers out again, pulling another length of fabric into the bunch. He continued this process, folding more and more into the bunch and feeling the knife shifting up his leg bit by bit.
Dan reeled with excitement when the tips of his fingers brushed the handle of the putty knife. He tugged his pants up a bit closer and managed to get the knife between his fingers. Bending his knuckles, he slid the knife to his thumb and pinched the tip of the handle. He wrapped his fingers around it and pulled the knife free from his pocket. There was a moment of pure panic as he fumbled a bit and nearly dropped it on the floor. He managed to catch it and clutched it tightly, breathing deeply in relief.
With the putty knife firmly in his grip, Dan turned his wrist and caught the edge of the rope with the corner of it. He flicked the edge of the blade across the rope, trying to dig deep into it’s braid each time. After several cuts he could see the fibers beginning to fray. Dan thanked God that the rope was a reasonably thin one. Then he considered that for a moment. If Rebecca was to be believed, God is the one that got him into this mess.
The lightning continued to flicker in the window as Dan worked at the rope. Each sound of the house creaking or bang of thunder caused him a moment of panic. Fearing that any moment one of the women would walk in and thwart him in his efforts to escape. The thought caused him to flick at the rope more and more quickly. Each fiber of the rope snapped and frayed outward until only a small strand was holding it together. A few more cuts and the line snapped with a twang. All the tension around his torso released and the ropes fell down his sides and coiled on the floor.
Dan wanted to rub his sore indented arms but he decided to immediately go to work untying the ropes around his legs instead. The knots were too ridiculous to deal with so he grabbed the knife back up. The progress went way more quickly with both of his hands free. Within less than a minute he had both legs free and got to his feet.
Now that he was free, Dan wanted to finally get his bearings on exactly where he was in the house. He was finally able to look out the window, it overlooked the back yard. That meant his van was on the opposite side of the house.
Rain had formed long dark puddles throughout the slopes of grass. The tree that had fallen was massive. It leaned across the yard, the tip jutting toward the house and nearly reaching it. Dan had to lean close enough for his breath to fog the glass in order to see the entire thing.
Dan turned around and saw that the room he was in was a bare bones office. Complete with a desk with a lamp and laptop. The chair he had been tied to matched the wood of the desk. The only other thing in the room besides a painting on the wall was a small white waste basket. Nothing at all that Dan could use to defend himself.
He crept toward the door and placed a hand on the doorknob. Standing there for a moment, Dan listened closely to any sounds. He couldn’t hear any movement over the sound of the storm. Slowly he cracked the door and looked through into the hall. He could see the patterned carpet on the hardwood floor but not much else. Dan opened the door wide enough to poke his head through and looked to the right. He let out a breath when he saw the hall was empty and stepped out, across the hall, and entered the room opposite.
Dan was surprised to see a trophy room. He never felt more lucky in his life than he did it that moment. With a quick scan of the room Dan took note of its contents. There were a few buck heads mounted on the walls and various framed photographs of his client standing with different people over different kills. In all of them he was holding the same gun. The very same gun was displayed on the center of the far wall on a pair of hooks. Dan floated across the room and took the gun down, appreciating the weight of it in his hands. It was a long double barrel shotgun and Dan had never seen something more glorious in his life.
His new found boost of excitement was quickly deflated when he opened and looked down the barrel, finding that it wasn’t loaded. Dan began searching the room praying to find some ammunition. The was a large mahogany desk with a classy leather armchair behind it. Dan slid the chair back and rifled through the drawers. Nothing but papers and office supplies. When he spotted a heavy looking safe sitting beneath the desk on the floor, his heart sank. He leaned over and inspected its four digit keypad. There was no way he was getting into it.
Dan stood up with the gun clutched in his hands with a sense of resolve. The shotgun was plenty intimidating on its own and if he was dealing with average people he thought bluffing would be enough. Unfortunately his adversaries were totally and completely insane. Crazy people tended to be unpredictable. He had to take the chance either way.
Before making his move, Dan walked over to the window and looked out into the front yard. It was almost nightfall but he could still see his van down below. Rain was splashing off the hood and roof and shimmering from the porch light. Dan looked to the treeline searching for headlights but he saw nothing through the darkened forest.
Dan crept across the room and back into the hall. As he made his way toward the top of the stairs he could hear the television blaring from the living room down below. From the tones and inflections of the voices he could tell it was still on the news channel. Dan started down the stairs making sure to carefully place each step. He had learned somewhere that the sides of stairs creaked less than the center. So he made his way down them stepping as wide as a cowboy.
Halfway down the stairs he froze when he heard a shout from the next room over. “BECKY!” Dan’s blood pressure soared and his heart was thrashing around his ribcage. “BECKY C’MERE!” Panicking, Dan considered rushing her. He was positive she had made him. “BECKY! COME LOOK! WE ONDA NEWS!” Dan breathed a deep sigh of relief and tried to calm down for a moment. He didn’t hear any response or movement from Rebecca, so once he felt leveled, he continued his descent and reached the bottom of the stairs.
Dan considered for a moment that if she was watching the TV, then entering the room through the first floor office would put them face to face. He decided to circle around through the kitchen to come through the door behind her and have the element of surprise. He scanned side to side quickly as he walked through the threshold to the kitchen. Seeing no one, he crept slowly to the closed door to the living room. He grabbed hold of the knob and turned it as slowly as he could, opening the door the slightest crack. He gazed through and could see Eilene standing in front of the television with her back to him.
As slowly as he could, Dan pushed the door open just enough to allow his body to pass, and he stepped through. Sweat beaded on his brow as he moved toward Eilene, step by step. The living room seemed miles longer than it had been earlier. Each step seemed to barely take him any closer to his target. His palms felt slick with sweat as he gripped the shotgun.
“The hunt for the two women is in full swing.” the TV boomed. “One of the largest manhunts in Washington County history is taking place.”
Dan had closed about half the distance between them. He noticed her reflection in the dark glass of the window and watched it as he approached. He could see the profile of her face intently watching the screen.
“BECKY!” she suddenly screamed. Dan jumped, nearly giving himself away. “WHERE YA AT!?”
Dan decided to make his move but the moment he stepped forward, Eilene’s head turned. For a fear stricken second the two of them made eye contact through the reflection in the window. There was a breathtaking pause that seemed like a lifetime. Then she spun around in a flash, brandishing a large butcher knife in her hand. Dan raised the gun level with her face and stared her down. There was maybe six feet between them.
“Da fuck!?” She bellowed. “You dumb mother fucker. You jus made da worse mistake of yer life!”
“Make one move,” Dan said. “and I swear to God I will blow your fucking head off.”
“Oh you don’t got da balls, Danny Boy!” Eilene was tossing the knife back and forth between her hands, making a show of it.
“Drop the knife or I’ll shoot!”
“I killed betta men den you, cocksucker!” Eilene shouted.
Suddenly she lunged at Dan. He wasn’t expecting her to make her move, he tried to step back but she closed the distance faster than he expected. He swung the barrel toward her face but she got under it and slammed into him, plunging the knife between his left collarbone and ribcage. For a moment he didn’t realize he had even been pierced. She pressed into him shouting “You shoulda pulled da trigger ya dumb fuck!”she growled, her face contorting into an expression of unbridled rage.
They struggled against one another in a heart pounding dance of death. The knife was being jostled back and forth where it was jammed deep into Dan’s shoulder and the pain was now excruciating. They stumbled back toward the other end of the room away from the TV as they spun in clumsy circles, clinched together like two boxers.
Dan shoved the gun against her and pushed her away from him. As they separated the knife went with her making a sickining schluck sound as it exited his body. His blood sprayed her filthy shirt and a dark stain bloomed on his own. When she tried to rush Dan again he managed to pull his knee nearly to his chest and he planted his boot square in Eilene’s chest sending her stumbling further backward toward the kitchen. Her legs hit the glass table in front of the couch and she almost tripped backward.
Dan flipped the gun quickly, now holding it by the barrel, as he ran at Eilene. He swung at her and she ducked, stepping forward again slashing with the knife. Dan back pedaled, instinctively blocking with his right arm as the knife sliced into his muscle. As he stepped back once more Dan swung the gun as hard as he could and it connected with Eilene’s skull. The blow made brutal contact with a loud head splitting crack. He knocked her completely off of her feet and sent her hurtling backward. She slammed down hard on her back in the center of the table. It shattered into a million pieces as she smashed through it onto the floor. Dan leaped forward with the gun raised high above his head, shards of glass crackling under his boots. He brought the gun down with all his strength and it bashed her in the center of her face. Dan could hear the sickening crunch of her nose. Dan roared with fury as he stepped over her and repeatedly smashed the butt of the gun into her face, he couldn’t stop himself as her body continued to writhe, sharp slivers of glass cutting into her from underneath. Her entire body stretched out with the stiffness of a plank. Blood was soaking the carpet around her head as she twitched and spasmed until finally she went completely limp. Dan’s lungs burned from his ragged breathing. He tried to calm his racing heart.
“Once again both women are considered extremely dangerous…” The television was saying. “citizens are advised to keep their distance if spotted.”
Trying not to look at Eilene’s mutilated face, Dan glanced around the room, searching for the pistol she had before. He strode toward the office and left the room. He was still breathing heavily. When he entered the darkened office, a beam of light shone through the window. Dan hurried to the window and saw the car emerging from the woods, the heavy rain illuminated in streams in front of the headlights. It pulled around beside his van and Dan’s heart leaped.
As the car settled Dan ran into the next room and threw the front door open. He rushed out on to the porch and saw the babysitter getting out of the car and hurrying toward the house. Dan ran toward her waving his arms, the shotgun still clutched in his right hand.
“Yvonne!” He shouted.
When she saw the gun in his hand she froze in her tracks. A worried expression was pasted on her face. Dan ran toward her and she stepped backwards. He shouted to her again as he saw the door of his van slide open. “Look out!” Time seemed to slow as the door slid over and Rebecca stepped out with his pistol in her hand. She moved toward Yvonne, slightly behind and to the left of her, out of her line of sight. Dan pointed the shotgun at Rebecca, trying to draw Yvonne’s attention. Yvonne finally turned toward her as Rebecca had just about closed the distance between them, raising the gun. He could see the surprised look on Yvonne’s profile for a split second as Rebecca pulled the trigger and Dan watched the brain matter blast out the back of her head. He heard the screams from the open door of the car as Yvonne’s body slumped to the ground. Dan's eyes met Rebecca's, a wide smile was across her face. She glanced at his shotgun and seemed to dismiss it, moving toward the car.
Dan sprinted toward the vehicle but Rebecca made it there first. She flung the door open and reached in. He could hear panicked shouting as she leaned into the car. He continued his rush toward her but stopped when she emerged yanking Connor from the car and twisting the barrel of the pistol to his head. The look on his sons face was sheer terror. He looked to Dan desperately, tears streaming down his face. The three of them stood there being drenched by the torrential downpour.
“Becky!” Dan shouted. “Don’t! Please! Let him go!”
“I can’t do that, Dan!” She responded, jerking Connor to keep him still with her arm around his neck in a choke hold. “We all have to go together or we don’t go at all! First Connor, then Lilly, then you,” he could see the pained expression on her face, even she was choking back tears. “then me!”
“MOM!” Connor cried. “PLEASE MOMMY NO!”
“You don’t have to do this, Becky! You’re sick! We want to help you! We can still help you!” Dan pleaded. He raised the shotgun above his head with both arms in a show of surrender. “We can all get in the car and go home! It’s not too late! It’s not your fault what happened to you!”
“NO!” she screamed. “It is, Dan! It is too late! This is my last chance, He told me!”
Dan said nothing, neither did Rebecca. Dan was wobbly but adrenaline was keeping him upright. Lighting streaked across the sky. Moments later thunder rocked overhead. The rain washed over all of them, soaking them to their core.
Rebecca yanked Connor upwards pushing the pistol hard into his face making him cry out in pain. Connor leaned his head forward and sunk his teeth into her forearm. Dan knew it was his only shot so he threw the shotgun aside and rushed toward Rebecca. She screamed as blood burst from her skin and spread as the rain splashed into it. Connor bit down even harder, refusing to let go with the tenacity of a German Shepard. She thrashed him about as Dan continued his mad dash. Rebecca turned the gun back towards Connor’s face as Dan made his final few steps and threw himself into her the moment she pulled the trigger. Everything was a blur by the time the gunshot rang in Dan’s ears. The three of them toppled to the ground, splashing into the muddy grass.
Dan hugged both of their bodies tightly, refusing to let go. He sobbed uncontrollably as the rain pelted his back like tiny stones. His head spun and threatened to black out from the blood loss of his deep stab wound. He refused to open his eyes for a moment, fearing the worst as he felt no movement and heard no sound other than the rain. Then he felt something shifting beneath him that caused him to struggle to emerge from the blackness he was falling into.
“D-d-da…” Dan forced himself into a push up position. “D-d-Dad?” came a small weak voice.
Dan made eye contact with Connor lying directly beneath him and he burst into tears. “My boy!” He hugged Connor against his chest and fell to his side. “My boy! My boy!” As he cried, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he then made eye contact with Rebecca laying to the side of them. Her eyes stared blankly at him and her mouth hung open. When he managed to sit up, still holding Connor tightly, he could see the hole in the side of her face. She laid there with her arms stretched to either side in a crucifixion position, the gun still clutched in her left hand. Dan continued to sob as his vision closed into a tunnel then finally faded to black as he slumped over.
A consistent beeping was all Dan could hear as he regained consciousness. He slowly opened his eyes to see a plain hospital room with a small flat screen television bolted high in the corner. He turned his head to the side to see a tower of medical equipment that was the origin of the beeping sound.
He saw a nurse walk past the doorway then double back to peer in. “Doctor!” She hollered. “Doctor Harris! Room 237 is awake!”
Dan could hear a commotion outside the door. Shortly, a man with gray hair and a white lab coat entered the room followed by the nurse.
“Mr. Adams!” he beamed. “We’re pleased to see you’ve regained your senses.”
“My kids…” Dan murmured.
“Are perfectly safe.” He said. “and if it hadn’t been for the quick thinking of your sharp little boy, you may not have been here to see it.” He was smiling at Dan sincerely. “Jacklyn.” he said turning to the nurse. “Please go place a call to the social worker and let her know. Then contact the detective as well.”
“Detective?” Dan asked weakly.
“Don’t worry.” Said the doctor. “I’ve spoken with him already, they seem to already think it’s pretty clear what happened. They just need a statement from you.”
Dan closed his eyes and breathed in relief. When he opened them again the doctor was still smiling at him. “You know, you're somewhat locally famous already. They’re calling you a hero, and I’m inclined to agree.”
Dan turned his head to the window. The blinds were closed but Dan could see the shine of daylight peaking through. The doctor walked over to the window and pulled the string, rising the blinds up. The sky was filled with pink and purple clouds in a beautiful sunrise. Dan admired the view for a moment then felt very weary. He closed his eyes again, but this time a sense of completeness filled him. He was overcome with a peacefulness he hadn’t felt in over a year. For the first time in a long while he was able to rest. Without a locked door, without a gun under his pillow, without crippling anxiety, Dan slept.

Plant suggestions for my tank?

Entries For Edition 20 of Redditvision in Brighton

Reddit admins get on hate crime unit in the UK.

"A is fo' Abandoned"... a gangstafied version of my original story that got rejected from Freddit

Draw	Country	User	Artist	Song	Link	Voting In
1	Taiwan	Lime_Berry	GARNiDELiA	Error	Here	2
2	England	Bowman3058	Isador	Jungle	Here	3
3	Micronesia	_xSyracuse	Empara Mi	The Come Down	Here	3
4	Australia	oneleek	Tonight Alive	Lonely Girl	Here	1
5	Austria	AwesomeJoshua	Leyya	Zoo	Here	1
6	Georgia	FlohNumba1	Faouzia	My Heart's Grave	Here	2

Draw	Country	User	Artist	Song	Link	Alt. Links
1	Tajikistan	Amyesc	Jack Garratt	Breathe Life	Here
2	Thailand	Blobbyfigg	Pang Nutnicha	Hundred happiness, Million pain	Here
3	Croatia	laneyflitt	Severina	Kao	Here
4	France	Dugly_Uckling	Sofi Tukker feat. Betta Lemme	Awoo	Here
5	Cyprus	stardust98	Jaira Burns	Sugarcoat	Here
6	Brazil	therealmatthewlam	The Wonder Years	Sister Cities	Here
7	Ukraine	wellthisisabitodd	Arctic Monkeys	I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor	Here
8	Greece	iPromi	Kovacs	Black Spider	Here
9	Iceland	Kastenbrot2	Leon Else	What I Won't Do	Here
10	Canada	ani_shira	MUNA	I Know A Place	Here
11	The Phillipines	meowthed	TRÏBE	Matter Of Time!	Here
12	Scotland	ShellEase	Leona Lewis	Fire Under My Feet	Here
13	Madagascar	alexkaragaya	L. E. J.	Acrobates	Here	Here
14	Switzerland	Effy-Was-Taken	RAYE (ft. Maleek Berry, Nana Rogues)	Confidence	Here
15	Belgium	Fingrpaint	Emma Bale	Cut Loose	Here
16	Poland	MikoESC	Mee And The Band	Eat Pierogi	Here
17	Burundi	Jamie_on_Reddit	The Driver Era	Preacher Man	Here
18	Germany	estoniass	LOTTE	Auf beiden Beinen	Here

Draw	Country	User	Artist	Song	Link
1	South Africa	201-	Kyla La Grange	Walk Through Walls	Here
2	Ireland	Awsumsminion	The Academic	Bear Claws	Here
3	Japan	SeptimiaZenobia	あいみょん (Aimyon)	愛を伝えたいだとか (Ai o tsutaetaida toka)	Here
4	Panama	JOEMOMO	Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas	Let Me Hear	Here
5	South Korea	Azzbestos	Lim Kim	Awoo	Here
6	Italy	TheDutchDen	ONE OK ROCK	We Are	Here
7	Tuvalu	jq8678	FLETCHER	You Should Talk	Here
8	Portugal	alleenmaarliefde	Panic! At The Disco	Hey Look Ma, I Made It	Here
9	Saint Vincent and the Grenadines	DarkCartoon	The Pirouettes	Baisers Volés	Here
10	Barbados	Bongo9911	Colouring	Time	Here
11	Turkey	throwawayravenclaw	Aleyna Tilki ft. Emrah Karaduman	Yalnız Çiçek	Here
12	Wales	Wierdmeansawesome	Man Without Country ft. White Sea	Laws of Motion	Here
13	Azerbaijan	bvsil	Tigertown	Warriors	Here
14	Papua New Guinea	sonamoo	EMI MARIA	Lost In Tokyo	Here
15	Malaysia	Sam_ESC	BANKS	Gemini Feed	Here
16	Trinidad and Tobago	Naturelll	Reyko	Spinning Over You	Here
17	Côte d'Ivoire	Foobibby	Stephanie Rainey	100 Like Me	Here
18	Bulgaria	EmiliaLily	Faith Marie	Antidote	Here
19	Sweden	IdahoSciGuy	Jukebox The Ghost	Everybody's Lonely	Here

Draw	Country	User	Artist	Song	Link	Alt. Links
1	Samoa	Taro_Milk_Tea	Jake Shears	Creep City	Here
2	Armenia	ZwissDa2nd	Lemaitre	Machine	Here
3	Czech Republic	19MartiN95	Eliška Černá	Vidina nás dvou	Here
4	Cape Verde	mysadsacklife	Doctrine	Play	Here
5	Finland	GThing64	Studio Killers	Party Like It's Your Birthday	Here
6	New Zealand	Spooky_Squid	Thomston	Acid Rain	Here
7	Argentina	dratinifire	Juan Ingaramo ft. Adrián Dárgelos	Matemática	Here
8	Belize	Franky494	Sj feat. Chelsea Lankes	If We Could Stay High	Here
9	North Korea	9spaceking	Eir Aoi	Lapis Lazuri	Here
10	Palau	qyzxf	Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas	Bad at Loving You	Here
11	Ghana	daboswinney123	BROCKHAMPTON	GOLD	Here
12	Nauru	j_tennant	Billie Eilish ft. Khalid	Lovely	Here
13	The Netherlands	ollieg99	Caro Emerald	Back It Up	Here	Here
14	United States	BiPolarBear17	Maggie Rogers	Alaska	Here
15	The Bahamas	Kaylaboe	Jorja Smith	Teenage Fantasy	Here
16	Niue	unfittingquotes	Midnight To Monaco	One In A Million	Here
17	Jamaica	HungryPill	Pink	Fucking Perfect	Here
18	Luxembourg	Phoenix963	Magic Man	Paris	Here
19	Guinea-Bissau	SaltyPopcorn02	Vera Blue	Regular Touch	Here

There’s straight-up no other way ta start dis than by sayin dat I have no clue what tha fuck I saw down there, n' frankly I don’t wanna know. God, it’s so hard as fuck ta even begin freestylin bout dis yo, but I gotta tell someone, aiiiight, biatch? Just know dat there be some truly sick playas up there; whoz ass knows, biatch? Maybe it’s dat thugged-out oldschool neighbor whoz ass strutts his fuckin lil' dawg every last muthafuckin mornin wit a smile n' a wave, or dat on tha down-low hustla dat always sits up in tha back drawin up in his journal… mah point is dat it could be mah playas. Well shiiiit, it could be one of mah thugs you thought you knew before dat shiznit was far too late.
Well, guess I need ta start all up in tha beginning…
Lemme start by sayin dat I am… well… was I guess now… tha fuck into urbex, or urban exploration. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat shiznit was suttin' dat I picked up from mah time up in college. Yo ass see, mah school, whoz ass I typically root against durin footbizzle season despite mah attendizzle only eva has two seasons: winter, n' construction.
As such, tha place is constantly undergoin chizzle, n' even without all dat shiznit happening, there’s a shitload mo' ta tha campus than meets tha eye. I’ve been ta a shitload of universitizzle landmarks nuff times, before n' afta reconstruction, hit up a long-closed forma lecture hall dat was originally built back up in tha ‘20s as a dem hoes’s hustla union complete wit swimmin pool, traversed tha underground passages connectin tha buildings at some major complexes like fuckin tha bidnizz n' medicinal districts, n' even used tha underground steam tunnels as shortcuts up in between classes.
Of course, tha excitement of explorin places where no muthafucka either knows bout or even is supposed ta be grew like addictive, n' I fuckin started ta big-ass up urban exploration up in earnest once I graduated, attemptin ta learn mo' bout tha history n' hidden beauty of tha hood. I even traveled round fo' a lil' bit n' hit up a shitload of tha more… shall we say… inhyped locales.
While I’m shizzle you’d ludd ta hear bout mah adventures explorin creepy abandoned Kirkbride asylums, mah befriendin a drifter whoz ass was pushin round a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass hustlin cart full of soda cans up in Cleveland, or mah road trip ta Centralia back up in ’09, that’s not what tha fuck I came here ta write about.
Fuck dat shit, it’s bout mah most recent visit; tha one dat made me decizzle ta take a funky-ass break from urbex fo' a while.
Da one dat has me constantly up in fear fo' mah game.
With tensions between tha US n' Uptown Korea at a all-time high since tha last prezial erections, I recently became intrigued wit tha exploration of abandoned fallout sheltas all up in tha ghetto, untouched since tha Cold War. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I had hit up tha forma bunker all up in tha Masonic Temple up in downtown Salt Lake City, n' had been gradually makin mah way downtown ta git a glimpse all up in tha past. I admit dat it wasn’t as atmospheric as what tha fuck I’m used to… most of dem was just basements, straight-up.
Da real target was dem fallout sheltas dat was often on private residences, dem backyard hidden locations tha landballaz was often too lazy ta deal with. That’s tha kind of thang dat make tha hype, like tha ones back up in California n' Wisconsin four muthafuckin years back. Those thangs is a funky-ass blast from tha past, a time capsule of some bygone pre-apocalyptic era where nuff gangsta crews believed dat they would be bombed ta oblivion any dizzle now, you know, like up in tha “Terminator” series. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! It’s a grab bag, straight-up; I’ve peeped places dat would cook up a antique store balla wet, n' I’ve also peeped places already looted by tha less… wholesome folk. I remember gettin chased outta one by dis knife-wieldin purple hobo dat had been rockin tha place ta spend tha night.
But I’m digressin I suppose. Yo ass wanted ta know what tha fuck happened, so… yeah.
I had heard rumorz of a funky-ass big-ass one up in tha woodz near Brushton, a podunk hood near Cedar City, Utah. I wasn’t shizzle bout dis at first; if rumors had already been flyin around, then certainly it would done been picked clean by now, dig? But then I heard of a shitload of tha mo' bangin-ass murmurs online. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feelin dis shiznit! There was a shitload of conflictin fronts bout tha place yo, but tha overall consensus was dat dis place was fuckin hustled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Now I don’t believe up in pimps yo, but well, if dat didn’t pique mah interest…
So here I was, standin above a pair of rusty iron doors leadin down ta god knows where up in tha middle of tha woods. Normally dat would git me pretty excited, since whoz ass knows what tha fuck kind of treasure might be buried down there, biatch? Historical, I mean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But fo' some reason I was feelin uneasy. Come ta be thinkin of it, I hadn’t heard tha chirpin n' buzzin you’d normally find up in forests fo' a while. Well, I wasn’t goin ta let dat discourage me, it wouldn’t be tha last time. Takin tha crowbar I carried wit me up in mah pack, I carefully pried open tha door ta reveal a steel ladder fixed ta tha wall. I turned on mah headlamp n' fuckin started mah descent.
As I climbed down tha ladder, I could not help but notice tha musty, metallic odor permeatin tha area. I gazed around, illuminatin tha space wit mah headlamp; it took me a while ta musta up tha courage ta explore yo, but when I did, I saw thangs dat I wasn’t straight-up payin dat much attention ta all up in tha moment yo, but knowin what tha fuck I know now, they should done been mah first signs ta run.
Da first was dat it looked as if there was not enough dust n' forest debris caked over what tha fuck lil there was, despite it bein apparently unused fo' like some time. Of course, tha way tha entrizzle was sealed might have played a part yo, but tha furnishings looked too… new. Like within-the-last-month new. Well, what tha fuck do I know bout furniture of tha 1960s?
Another was tha notable absence of supplies n' accouterments like fuckin rancid chicken rations or clunky, outdated lightin n' electronics; what tha fuck was there was either too heavily-decayed or didn’t work at all, forcin me ta rely on mah headlamp ta orient mah dirty ass.
But what tha fuck disturbed mah crazy ass da most thugged-out fo' some reason, was tha bathroom. There was no dust on tha mirror n' tha faucets kept drippin every last muthafuckin so often. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. You’d be thinkin they would have shut tha wata off a LONG time ago.
Furthermore, up in one of tha bunk bed rooms, I noticed furniture piled up like haphazardly throughout, blockin tha space. Now dat I be thinkin of it, one of mah thugs, or suttin' took tha time ta clear up one of tha rooms free of furniture, n' dat room was just behind tha last unopened door.
Throughout it all, I had dis straight-up tense gut feelin dat I wasn’t like aware of at first. Well shiiiit, it felt like I was bein watched; not only dat yo, but whoever or whatever was watchin me clearly did not appreciate mah presence. Da hairs on tha back of mah neck was constantly on end as if frozen by a thousand glarin shadows, n' I was certain dat I sometimes heard a soft, low giggle echoin all up in tha compound.
I had already pondered these thangs when I heard soft footsteps from tha other side of tha door I was focused on, causin me ta freeze instantly. Was one of mah thugs up in here wit me son??, biatch? I listened carefully as tha soft pat pat noise continued, n' I pulled up mah Morakniv I brought wit me up in case thangs went down. “YO!” I called out. Da footsteps immediately stopped, n' tha smell kept gettin stronger, now wit a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distinct coppery tone ta it dat I didn’t wanna be thinkin about. Gingerly, I reached fo' tha doorknob leadin ta tha last chamber, locked n loaded ta either fight or fly if need be.
I should have just left. That would have kept me safe.
A horrid, sickenin metallic stench struck me like a wall, forcin me back as I dry heaved n' tried mah hardest not ta vomit. My fuckin eyes fuckin started ta wata as I took up in tha impossible sight before mah dirty ass. While tha other rooms had dat feelin of oppressive Cold Battle austeritizzle I was just beginnin ta git used to, dis last chamber was like a slaughterhouse fo' realz. Also, whatever presence had been there before was now weighin me down, like a immense hatred tinged wit perverse joy. Da room felt burnin bangin' n' icy cold all up in tha same time n' mah mind was beatboxin all up in mah grill ta run n' call 911 yo, but all up in tha same time I felt like I was bein pinned down by some otherworldly force, paralyzed up in fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Then somehow, just as I felt like I was at mah limit, it stopped abruptly n' tha room fell tha fuck silent once again.
It felt like minutes before I mustered up tha courage ta look inside. I was straight-up certain there would be a thugged-out dead body up in there, n' I didn’t wanna git tha fuck into dat kind of predicament. What I found was far worse than dis shit. Forget tha slaughterhouse, dis was straight outta a Satanic horror porno. There was no other thug inside, kickin it or dead yo, but a mutilated fox lay on tha ground, its eyes n' tongue bulgin up as it lay on tha concrete wit its throat slit n' its hairy-ass legs seemingly torn off. Its innardz lay exposed, comin outta a jagged gash covered up in flies; it looked as if one of mah thugs had cut tha skanky thang open n' removed a shitload of tha organs, which lay up in a funky-ass bowl on a nearby table next ta some papers on some word I didn't recognize: "haruspicina", whatever dat meant (I would lata come ta learn dat dis basically involved divination by tha entrailz of a sacrificed animal). Whoever resided here was clearly insane yo, but before I fuckin started ta wonder whoz ass could have possibly done dis n' if da thug was still around, I found a leatherbound journal on tha chair.
What I read within was horrifying.
Apparently tha original gangsta lyricist had been tryin ta big-ass up experiments combinin technologizzle n' tha occult, wit tha aim of bustin some kind of alternate body, one impervious ta tha effectz of agin n' physical pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Strangely, though, it rocked up dat dis journal had not been pimped by whoever was inhabitin dis dungeon; there was far a fuckin shitload of inconsistencies up in handwritin style. Upon realizin this, I looked back n' saw dat tha journal had been heavily annotated by multiple people, da most thugged-out recent baller's notes matchin tha dark blue handwritin upon tha other papers n' contrastin wit tha faded black dat comprised tha majoritizzle of tha corpus. Da last few pages seemed ta shed some light upon tha thang.
That's when I fuckin started noticin some mo' bizarre details dat had escaped mah attention previously.
I found a gangbangin' framed selfie showin a high-school couple layin facedown upon a messy table. Da two figures rocked up ta be holdin handz n' trippin' off theyselves, or at least one of dem was. Da hoe was a perky goth chick wit all-black accessories, complete wit a tiny black-lipped smile n' dark pigtails. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch must be pretty cute. Da boy, however, was a lanky pimpled youth carryin a maroon Janshiznit n' decked up in second-hand threadz dat didn’t like fit his size. On his neck was a silver chain wit a pentagram charm, inverted of course.
Also, among tha ritual gear n' other esoteric thangs was tha remainz of animatronic toys n' other electronic gadgets, as well as mo' apparently meaningless crafts like fuckin a cold-ass lil crate of plush toys packed full of rice n' wrapped up in red thread. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Furthermore, nuff muthafuckin heavily-annotated blueprints was laid up on a nearby table, all comin from a cold-ass lil company called “Fazbear Entertainment”.
It would step tha fuck up dat afta findin these notes, tha last balla of tha corpus did some further research yo. Dude fronted ta have discovered tha work of a cold-ass lil certain Lil' Willy Afton on tha Deep Web, n' was tryin ta replicate it rockin mo' conventionizzle approaches; a notable set of experiments was freestyled wit Japanese text interspersed all up in which I could not understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da word “remnant” had been consistently highlighted, both up in dis chronicle n' on tha blueprints.
Da last filled page of tha journal depicted a massive ritual configuration, wit a Freddy Fazbear animatronic chillin up in tha middle of a pentagram surrounded by four other symbols, which matched tha dark stains coverin tha walls.
I looked closely all up in tha animatronic Freddy; dis had ta be tha ugliest hunk of scrap parts I’d eva seen, as if whoever put his ass there managed ta salvage his ass from a junkyard n' reconstructed his ass ta a travesty of mah childhood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Dude was chillin up in tha middle of a massive pentagram coverin tha concrete floor, which rocked up ta be marked up in blood like recently. Red yarn had been tangled all over his body, up in a larger imitation of dem rice-packed plush toys yo. Dude was on tha ground wit his handz up ta his sides up in a slouchin position, like a awkwardly-propped corpse, n' upon closer inspection, I could peep tha barely decipherable symbols which nearly blended up in wit tha brown surface fo' realz. Also, although dis may done been some kind of momentary panic-fueled hallucination, I could have sworn I heard heavy breathang nearby. I felt compelled ta examine tha head mo' closely, afraid dat there might be a thug inside yo, but ta mah relief, there was only a mechanical endoskeleton beneath tha shell fo' realz. As I placed tha head back, it drooped forward, its jaw openin like a gapin skeleton’s.
I had enough of dis place. I still don't know what tha fuck compelled mah crazy ass ta grab tha journal as I made mah way outta dis bedlam. Just as I reached tha door, however, I heard another distorted giggle behind mah crazy ass n' looked back.
I need ta stress suttin' ta you: whilst you have no reason ta trust me, I swear on mah father’s grave dat dis next thang happened exactly as I portray dat shit. Freddy had already stood up yo. Dude was FUCKIN STANDIN UPRIGHT n' starin all up in mah grill wit its hollow eyes, ya feel!?. To add ta that, another low chortle echoed all up in tha room, leavin no diggity as ta its source.
Da next thang I remember, I was up in tha hoopty bustin 70 up in a residential area haulin ass outta there; no matta how tha fuck much I try ta remember, every last muthafuckin thang bout mah escape is still a funky-ass blur, as if I was subconsciously blockin up suttin' I shouldn’t have seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I went straight ta tha police, n' holla'd at dem I had come across some maniac bustin a funky-ass bear costume up in some underground bunker up in tha woods… come on, it’s not like I could tell dem tha real deal, right?
Well once tha popo gots involved, dat opened a whole freshly smoked up can of worms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. They could not find tha costumed maniac yo, but not fo' lack of trying; apparently, by tha time they arrived, some thugs had already looted tha place clean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. All they found was tha bloodstains n' gore among tha fucked up detritus n' tha ransacked furniture. But there was also suttin' else. Yo ass see, only all dem yardz away from dis abattoir, they found a funky-ass body. I was now tha prime suspect fo' tha kidnappin n' cappin' of Tanner Albright, a hustla all up in tha Theodore Roosevelt High School up in Brushton whoz ass had gone missin a week prior.
Da bloodied corpse was barely recognizable as human yo, but one peep dat pimply grill n' every last muthafuckin thang made sense.
Lord, did they grill me bout it, repeatedly askin me if I knew his ass n' where was I durin tha last few weeks. I insisted over n' over again n' again n' again dat I could not done been involved, detailin exactly how tha fuck I came across tha bunker n' tha events surroundin dat shit. I swore up n' down dat I wasn’t ridin' solo down there n' dat whoever was wit me had ta have capped Tanner; I simply would not believe dat they couldn’t find anythang or mah playas matchin dat description inside or nearby, not when they holla'd it wit a tone dat made me feel dat they weren’t spittin some lyrics ta me every last muthafuckin thang. They even had tha audacitizzle ta suggest dat maybe I had been hallucinatin down there n' imagined tha bear costume, followed by spurious accusationz of me bustin sticky-icky-ickys. Dat shiznit was a funky-ass brutal invigoration, n' they kept tryin ta find nonexistent holez up in mah testimony; they even dragged up in Popo Chief Burke from Hurricane ta question me yo, but I straight-up couldn’t git into what tha fuck phat dat would do, except maybe fo' some kind of phat cop/bad cop routine, biatch? Soon, it became pretty clear dat I had not a god damn thang ta do wit tha murder, so they had ta let me go.
Well… at first, I guess.
A few minutes lata I spotted Chief Burke while waitin up in line at Grind Coffee Doggy Den yo. Dude must have recognized mah crazy ass too, cuz before I knew it, da thug was standin right behind me, n' when I was bout ta pay, da perved-out muthafucka stepped up in n' offered ta cover mah tab. Why was da perved-out muthafucka so pushy even now, biatch? I’d already holla'd at his ass all he needed ta know back all up in tha station, right, biatch? We sat down together n' blasted tha shiznit fo' a while, poppin' off bout game, crew, school, all dat jazz fo' realz. At one point, though, he looked all up in mah grill wit a cold-ass lil curious expression n' was rappin up.
“Now Russ, is I right, biatch? You’re a pimpin' smart-ass kid wit a funky-ass bright future. Not dat nuff playas git a master’s degree dat young, you know.”
“Thanks, I guess.”
“I wanna bust a nut on you, kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I straight-up do; but what tha fuck I don’t like is ta be lied to.”
I froze. Of course he must have known.
“Yo ass be thinkin I can’t git into when you’re holdin back tha real deal, biatch? Yo ass saw suttin' down there, didn’t yo slick ass, biatch? Somethang straight-up straight-up messed up fo' realz. And I don’t wanna hear bout no muthafucka up in a funky-ass bear suit just hustlin round tha woods, we both know that’s a load of shit.”
Of course.
Chief Burke leaned back n' placed his handz behind his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “So tell me, son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What did you peep up in dat bunker?” I sat there, bitin mah lip up in thought. “Yo ass wouldn’t believe mah dirty ass. You’d be thinkin I’m crazy.” Chief Burke gave a lil' small-ass sigh. “Russ, I’ve been up in tha force fo' mo' than 26 muthafuckin years now, nahmeean, biatch? I’ve peeped a shitload all up in mah game, there isn’t straight-up dat much dat surprises me no mo'.”
Touché. I guess, not a god damn thang ta lose, right?
I holla'd at his ass tha whole rap startin from tha rumors I heard floatin bout tha place n' goin tha fuck into considerable detail bout tha charnel doggy den dat was tha bomb shelter, poppin' off bout how tha fuck tha place felt so oppressively wack n' how tha fuck tha mascot seemed… kickin dat shit, yo. I could have sworn I saw his wild lil' fuckin eyes widen fo' a lil' bit when I gots ta dis part. I even flossed his ass tha book I found inside dat detailed tha writer’s rituals n' trials, which he read fo' a long-ass time before placin it on tha table wit a gangbangin' frown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da whole time da ruffneck didn’t say shit, only listenin thoughtfully as I recalled dat harrowin experience. When I was done, dat shiznit was his cold-ass turn ta remain silent up in rumination, slowly noddin his head as he processed what tha fuck dat schmoooove muthafucka heard.
“…so they figured it up afta all…” he muttered, or so it sounded like. Then tha pimpin' muthafucka turned ta mah dirty ass.
“I be thinkin it would be betta if I held on ta dat book fo' a funky-ass bit. Yo ass straight-up should have holla'd suttin' bout it when we dissed you bout all this.” I grimaced up in shame at his thugged-out admonition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. “I’m… I’m not up in shit, be I?”
“Nah, not straight-up yo, but you want mah lyrics, biatch? Put dis outta yo' mind, n' take a funky-ass break from urbexin fo' a while, like a muthafucka. If what tha fuck you holla'd was true, then you’re treadin up in some straight-up nasty watas here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Leave while you still can, just bounce back ta tha doggy den, n' just try ta leave dis up in tha past, aiiiight?” I was a lil trippin but some instinct holla'd at mah crazy ass ta heed his thugged-out lyrics. Well I guess I could do tha straight-up original gangsta two. I ended mah trip early, went back ta mah ordinary game, n' straight-up forgot bout it fo' a while.
So why do I write bout all dis now?
Yesterdizzle I received a email wit tha subject “REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAW”, n' a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass short anonymous message:

I know whoz ass you saw down there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. We need ta talk.

It came wit a attachment: “freddy.7z”, a set of photographs taken all up in various locations all up in tha ghetto. I wasn’t shizzle what tha fuck ta look fo' at first until tha fourth picture, n' when I saw it, a electric tingle of panic coursed all up in mah body n' I could swear I heard laughta like what tha fuck came outta tha bunker as I fled.
Somewhere up in tha background of every last muthafuckin single photograph was what tha fuck looked like a playa up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty stained Freddy costume, wrapped up in trailin red yarn dat constantly snagged against tha undergrowth, wit a tattered brick-red rucksack hauled over its shoulder.
On its wrist was a mufuckin' silver chain.
Even half a cold-ass lil ghetto away, I still don’t feel safe from Freddy.

I made a "Mean Streets of Gadgetzan" version of Straight Outta Compton, and here it is.

I made a "Mean Streets of Gadgetzan" version of Straight Outta Compton by N.W.A, and here it is.

[Table] IAmA: We're the cast of Super Happy Fun Time, Yay! - Brittany Furlan, Brandon Calvillo, Greg Davis Jr (Klarity), KC James, Christiano Covino - AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-05-03
Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
Hey Brit, how come you never rep Phili???	Brittany: I do, I have a lower back tattoo of a cheesesteak
Brandon, is it hard to make Vines everyday so consistently??	Not when your'e unemployed and living at your parents house.
How do you feel about legendary Viner Danny Lopriore mocking you guys and other popular Viners?	Christiano: Danny is awesome. It was a bit of a roast, sort of a right of passage to be roasted by him. Everyone was really into it.
	Brittany: I think it's hilarious.
	Greg: Hahaha, I love it! I think it's great! In comedy, being roasted by someone is the BEST form of flattery! Lolol.
	Kc: He's hilarious and I think its great.
	He is a legend for a reason, he's hilarious.
KC James, I love your Basketball vines, Were you ever a basketball player back in high school or college? have you ever won countys or states in high school? what were your stats?	Thank you! I played basketball for Capo Valley High and played college ball for uPenn and SF State. Look up LeBron James' stats.. mine were similar.
	Kc.
Brittany! Love your vines! Who are some of your favourite viners? From whom do you draw inspiration?	My favorite Viners are Bach, Bo Burnham, My dog Wicket, and my big toe Edgar :)
Hey Brandon my name is also Brandon and I am also 20. I've always wondered, do you guys make money from doing vines? From sponsors?	Greg: yes, which is why you see so many ANNOYING app brand vines.
Do you guys record your vines directly from your phone? Do you have any special accessories or equipment for your vines?	Brittany: I record most on my phone because I don't know how to edit because I'm 7.
	Christiano: Yeah, we have tripods, lights, play sounds off another phone, and use assistive touch. Or you just shoot it all in your phone's camera and edit it and upload it.
	Brandon: For me its straight from my phone. Then again, I'm a simpleton who likes to yell at pigeons.
	Greg: I still don't know now to use Vine properly. I'm an idiot.
Do any of you think a dislike option would be an improvement to vine? I see a lot of pointless vines that make it to the popular page simply because of the Viner's popularity as opposed to quality of the Vine.	Brittany: I don't think there needs to be a dislike button but I think the spamming has to go. No one likes spam but Hawaiians.
Also, do any of you know if there will ever be some sort of fix to the spam in vine comments? It just seems like a wasteland of spam and a waste of time to try and even read through it.	Christiano: That button would get out of control! But it could help quell a lot of those "Thirst" vines...
Brandon, where the fuck is Jason Nash?	Brandon: In the trunk of my uncles Volkswagen Beetle.
Seeing as all of these comments start off with 'Brittany...' I'll ask everyone else, how much do you envy Brittany out of 10 and what's the deal with that Brittany girl?	Christiano: She's a succubus. She keeps us around to steal our youth and absorb our knowledge.
	Greg: I hate her.
Brittany, how constipated are you right now?	Brittany: I haven't shit in 3 days. My asshole feels like the 405 at 3.
Who does everyone hate more, Wahlid or Chris?	Kc: Definitely Wahlid because he is so hot and brags about it on his twitter like an arrogant man. Everyone also hates him because he lies about his age to get girls. He is actually 43. People love Chris because he is actually funny and cute AF.
	Brittany: Who's Whalid? Who's Chris?
	Greg: who are they even both?
How did it feel once people on the streets started to recognize you?	Kc: I thought to myself "It's about time."
	Brittany: It's crazy. I always think they're talking to someone else or mistaking me for Harry Styles.
	Greg: kinda cool, lol. Weird too. I got recognized by the entire kitchen at in-n-out a few weeks ago on my way to Coachella, lol, that was pretty cool.
	Brandon: I always assume that they recognize me from my short lived career as a Sandwich Artist.
	Christiano: Someone weirdly enough recognized me as Batman the other day. But I wasn't wearing the mask or anything... I guess this is how Val Kilmer feels...
KC, have you ever met Drake Bell?	Brittany: I'm developing my own TV show where I play Drake Bell.
Was it harder to make longer-form comedy? rather than just six seconds? I liked Juice Cleanse!	Brittany: I came from a longer form space, so for me it was harder to get adjusted to Vine. I'm still not perfectly adjusted to Vine... cc my vines.
	Greg: not really, I came from a longer form background w/ film & Tv, so it was kind of an easy transition.
Hey guys! Thanks for doing this! Who would you guys say started the whole vine famous craze? Who are the vine legends?	Brittany: I have no idea who started it but I know who's gonna end it points to self
	Greg: Nicholas Megalis's "Gummy Money" vine. Hands down, lol.
Were you all friends even before vine? Or was vine a unifying factor?	Brittany: We're still not friends. I'm only here for the pizza.
	Christiano: I met Brittany first, and then she introduced me to KC. I met Greg through Vine and he introduced me to Brandon. So yes... Vine.
Kc is it true u stole pokemon cards when u were younger and also do u cry in ur sleep?	Kc: ... it's not my fault!
Brandon: How much does your mom love being featured? Are any vines with her scripted or thought out beforehand?	Brandon: They actually are all scripted. My mom is a sweetheart in real life, except when she locks me in the basement for 3 days cause I didnt do the dishes.
Are you guys still here? If so, how awesome is Rudy in real life, and is he going to be on SHFTY?	Christiano: Rudy is the most awesomest dude around. He IS gonna be part of SHFTY, he's in 2 sketches and a few other videos too!
You're all very talented, and the collabs make it 100x mo' betta'. Thanks for doing chat time with reddit.	Greg: he's a half Italian/half Brazilian 5'4" dude from Jersey with a Napoleonic complex, does that answer your question? Lol, Hahha. J/K, Rudy's awesome. Very smart and talented individual.
What's the creepiest message you've guys ever received? I always see weird fucked up shit on your guys instagram and Twitter	Kc: I had a girl tell me she wasn't of age.. but her body was ready.
	Brittany: I had someone who asked me to send them some sexy pictures ...the only creepy part about it is that they said they were a 7 year old girl...
	Christiano: A lot of reuests for pictures of my feet on SnapChat. Whoever you are... stop it.
Did any of you think you'd ever gain this much fame with vine? Did you plan on regularly making vines right off the bat when you downloaded the app? Also TIL Klarity's real name is Greg.	Greg: Haha, never. I downloaded vine to stalk a girl that I liked b/c she had vine. I was bored when I downloaded vine and almost delete it, lol. And yeah, most ppl don't know, but my real name is Greg. A disappointment I know.
	Brittany: I never thought anything would come of this but me just getting to have fun. I feel really blessed and I hate when people say "blessed" because I think that's cheesey but it's so true so I am gonna hashtag it now ok? #Blessed
Do you guys all live in the same area?	Brittany: Yeah we do. Strangely enough. I've lived in LA for 10 years.
	Christiano: Yeah! We all live in LA, but none of us are from here...
	Greg: I'm currently homeless, but yes, we do.
Do you guys miss Nick Spears? Hope I didn't make anyone mad/sad...	Kc: Very much.
	Brittany: SOO MUCH :(
That makes sense. His vines have always been consistently good even with all that going on. I really appreciate how classy this answer was. I wasn't fishing for a bad one or anything, but it just shows your character.	Christiano: Thanks! Ron Burgundy told me to stay classy, so i try.
Hey Brittany, Brandon, Klarity, Kc James, and Christiano How has vine effected your life? What inspires you all to make each vine With a fresh idea? (Ps.love you guys!!)	Brittany: Basically I was eating out of the trash before vine, and now I'm not... so that's a plus.
	Kc: Before vine my friends thought I was crazy, and now they still do. I'm inspired by every day moments as well as my active imagination.
	Greg: well I get a bunch of free clothes now, I get to eat at expensive restaurants for free and every girl that didn't want me a year ago now does, lol. Also, I get hit up a lot my friends to promote things for them on my social media, haha. -__- What inspires me to continue to make vines? Lol, MONEY and social acceptance by the internet so I can separate myself from Kevin Hart.
	Christiano: I was a commercial director before Vine, and having all these Viners around has literally consumed all my time. So now I just focus on doing projects with these maniacs instead of working for brands.
Hey Brittany! I follow you on Instagram aswell as vine, I love your sense of fashion. Who is your favourite designer? and please make clothes.	Brittany: So funny you said that! I want to do a line of clothes! Way before Vine I worked as a wardrobe stylist while going on auditions and what not and I had so much fun. My favorite designer? Hmm... That's hard, so many goodies but I am pretty much always feeling Alexander Wang.
What has been your favorite trend (to do or to make fun of)?	Kc: Not a huge fan of trends unless its 90's bowl cuts.
	Brittany: I had fun doing the 'lemme take a selfie' vine but then after like 6 hours I immediately regretted it and wanted to kill myself.
	Christiano: Flappy Bird, for sure!
	Greg: the Nae Nae, #LetMeTakeASelfie and "Relatable" vines are all ones are/we're fun to make fun of.
Hey guys! Ive followed all of yall for about a year now and i love all of yalls vines! I guess my question to any of yall is what do you think sets apart the Vine Famous from the Vine Regulars? When did you first think, "hey, i could make this a big deal?"	Kc: Most of the "popular viners" put a lot of time and effort into their vines which I think sets their work apart from other vine users.
Also, Brittany: I would date you so hard KC: so glad you finally found stuff to do on your saturday nights!	Brittany: Thank you. I would like to be dated.
Who has been your favorite viner to work with on shfty?	Kc: Kc.
	Brittany: ...Myself?
	Christiano: It's tough to say, cuz they're all sitting here next to me. So to not offend anyone, I'm gonna say Ry Doon.
	Greg: Kc James, hands down. Plus he's so tall and good-looking. My future girlfriend is NEVER meeting him! No no no.
Do you guys like the changes Vine has been going through? Or do you wish it was the way it was before?	Christiano: Progress is always great. Vine's really starting to mature as a platform, especially with the new Vine.co "youtube-style" layout and search functionality. Psyched to see Vine finally come of age.
	Greg: Personally, I miss the way vine was. I hate the way it is now, but everything evolves, just gotta roll with it.
So is it possible to make a living off Vine? Or should I keep my job? Keep up the great work guys! SALUTE!	Brittany: I get paid in POGS so I'm pretty satisfied.
	Well I put it to you like this: 6 months ago I was homeless, now I'm looking at places on my own with no 9-5 job. Miracles do happen. :)
What is the combined total amount of dicks each of you have sucked off?	Brittany: Does it count if I watched KC suck his own dick?
	Christiano: To full completion?
(to all) What is the vine you are most proud of/is your favorite you made?	Brittany: I love my first Ghetto Dora vine... and that's about it.
	Christiano: Law and Order: Flappy Bird. That and the Batman Series.
Are there any popular viners you will actually admit to finding awful, or will you just take the easy road and say everyone is great?	Brittany: Hmmm. I think KC is awful, but that's just because I've seen inside of his asshole.
	Kc: Bonded for life.
	Christiano: People who just use YouTube clips to tell their jokes kinda suck. Sorta flies in the face of how much time and effort we put into our vine sketches.
	Greg: Hahaha, I would, but I don't wanna go down that road. I could give you a politically correct answer here, but there are definitely some awful Viners out there, lol.
What college did you guys go to or what was your previous job?	Kc: uPenn. My previous job was flipping pokemon cards on ebay.
	Brittany: I went to FIDM in downtown LA because I didn't want to go to a real college and I needed something easy enough to break away from and go on auditions.
	Greg: I didn't go to college. Previous job was a waitor, I got my first TV show and I quit on the spot.
	Christiano: Full Sail University! Best technical film school in the world.
Lastly and kind of serious, do you guys ever have vine beef and what do you think of the whole Curtis Lepore/Jessi Smiles crap that happened?	Greg: there is def vine beef and "tension" between certain Viners and groups of Viners for sure. And I have no comment on the whole Curtis/Jessi things, lol. Zero.
Hey brandon did you ever end up buying that shirt that your brother said was too small?	Brandon: I bought 20 of them because I like showing my midriff. I'm literally the biggest slut AWMAWGAWD.
How do you feel about mom's spaghetti?	Brittany: I fucking love spaghetti. I'd eat fuck the shit out of a plate right now.
	Kc: Needs ball meats.
	Christiano: My mom is irish, but my dad is Italian, so he makes all the spaghetti in our house. And i'm obsessed with it. The meatballs too...
	My Mom's Jamaican, she's jerk chicken and curry goat.
How do you guys take your orange juice? Pulp free, some pulp or lots of pulp? Or.. other?	Christiano: Pulp Fiction. Inspired by @BrandonCalvillo.
	Brittany: I HATE PULP. It just feels so whack in your mouth shivers
What's brown and sticky?	Brittany: All of Kc's vines.
	Brandon: My bathroom after eating Chipotle.
	Christiano: Klarity covered in honey.
	Greg: Me after I make Kool-Aid.
Cast: What's one thing people don't know about you?	Christiano: I have two penises.
KC: Where did you get those face cut outs? Any other celebrities to be included?	Brittany: I like turtes
Why did you move there?	Christiano: Wanted to increase my chances of dying in an earthquake.
How many cuts/takes does it take to make a good vine?	Kc: It can go either way! Some of the best and most popular vines are done in one shot, while others are really intricate with multiple cuts. It depends on what you're going for!
	Greg: one time I spent over an hour making a vine. Then sometimes, it takes all of 5 minutes, lol. It just depends. Vine is like a bad relationship you can't get rid of, haha.
	Christiano: Sometimes you nail it in the second or third take, and then you save that one and keep trying for more. But then you always end up going back to that first one you liked.
Brittany, what's the best reaction you've received from bystanders while doing your vines?	I've been strangled before... That was fun.. and kinda erotic...
Context?	I stole this gay guy's grocery cart and he kinda lost it and had super human strength. He garbbed me by the throat and lifted me off my feet. It was awesome/ scary as fuck
What do you make of vine 'beef' and in particular vines aimed at the likes of Nash Grier?	Greg: sure, if he was down for it, I'd LOVE to start a fake Vine beef with Nash Grier, Hahahahha.
	Brittany: It's entertaining but I'm not a huge meat-eater.
	I hear Vine Beef is high in protein and also quite savory. Also, Nash Grier's eyes help feed starving children in Africa.
Why can't I find breaking bad on netflix??	Christiano: Because Walter White doesn't want you to see his downfall.
Question for the entire cast— How does one become officially "Vine famous"? What crew or networks decide if you're popular enough to become Vine verified? Have you met the people that verified your accounts? Explain the process and your reactions when it happend, please.	Brittany: I don't even know what to make of the whole "vine famous" thing. It's weird. I'm just grateful for all of the opportunities I've had. :)
How does someone like myself start to get a following off of Vine? I hate the relatable Vines, and I have few ideas of legit skit type Vines. But what's the point if only a few people watch it. I would want to increase followers but do it the right way. Any tips?	Brittany: Honestly, I don't even know how to answer that. I'd say just be you, be funny and the rest will follow.
What kind of music do you enjoy?	Brittany: I like de music with da good beats.
	Kc: Russian Dungeon Pop.
	Brandon: I am a huge fan of the band Wavves and the band HEALTH. Their music causes me to have multiple eargasms.
	Christiano: The Who. Pete Townshend is god.
Did any of you guys know each other before Vine?	Brittany: I knew Jason Nash, Simone and Bach before Vine but everyone else I met off of Vine.
	Kc: I knew Brittany. She sold crack to minors in my old neighborhood.
	Christiano: Minors, or miners?
Brittany..i have a hot dog just like meg. Does your hot dog's feet smell like fritos too?	Brittany: Hahaha! She doesn't... but she should.
	Christiano: My Dachshund's feet TOTALLY smell like Fritos!! weird... didn't know that was a thing...
Do you guys do any traveling for your vine career? Like travel to other states? Or do you stay in LA for most of your stuff?	Brittany: I've traveled a lot. I've been to at least 10 different basements in the US.
Do you enjoy the ocean?	Brittany: I love the ocean. Especially throwing all my trash into it.
	Greg: I'm black.
Klarity Christiano Brandon those batman bane and robin are some of the funniest vines you guys make, also anymore of 6bit?	Christiano: SHFTY has eaten up all the time i used to spend on 6-bit. But now that we're done shooting SHFTY, 6-bit is gonna make a glorious comeback!!
	Christiano: Also, THANK YOU!! The batman vines make us laugh, and it's rare that Vines that make us laugh are also popular.
	Greg: thanks man! I'm glad there's an audience out there who appreciates them! Lol...we love to make them, but the general vine audiences doesn't particularly care for them unless they're offensive. But w/e, we don't care, we still love them, lol. And more 6bit? Mayyybe, ask Christiano, lol. They're so hard to make.
If you have any comedic inspirations (that don't include each other hehe) who are they?	Kc: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ben Stiller, Lucille Ball, Jim Carrey.
	Brittany: Comedic Inspirations for me are definitely Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Tina Fey, unfinished bowls of Mac N' Cheese, my friend's iguana Craig... oh and Dave Chappelle.
	Louie CK is my idol.
	Christiano: George Carlin!! And of course, Adam McKay as a director. Gary Larsen gives me a lot of my ideas for Vine.
	Greg: Rudy Mancuso, Bo Burnam and Dave Chappelle.
Why does every viner have an endless supply of 20-30 year old African American males, at their disposal for use in their vines?	Chrsitiano: There's a slavery joke here, but I'm not going to make it.
	In truth, there's a bunch of crazy talented black Viners that have been killing it on Vine. Their audiences are highly engaged, so Vining with them means you'll have a hit. That, and they're some of the nicest, hardest working Viners on the platform.
	Brittany: I don't think about their skin color, I just see the funny.
What was it like working with Jake Moreno?	Brittany: Who?
	Brandon: He constantly shouted racial slurs on set. Made me feel real uncomfortable.
	Christiano: You ever heard the Christian Bale rant from on set... Like that, only worse. One of the most unprofessional people you'll ever meet. Great guy, though!~
What do you guys like to do in your free time?	Brittany: I like to play with my dogs because I have no friends.
	Brandon: I work part-time at an Applebees. I'm also the kingpin of a meth empire.
	Christiano: KC James...
	Greg: try to get Brittnay to date me.
How much on average do you get paid to do sponsored vines? Y'all are hilarious btw!	Brandon: I get paid in Jack Links beef jerky. Also, THANK YOU!
	Greg: just enough to buy a 2 piece meal from KFC.
Brittany - who farted?	Brittany: I did.
	Christiano: Brittany did.
Other than Bryan Silva, who is the best viner?	Brandon- RED 6 hands down. That man is a genius.
	Sorry but Bryan Silva is life.
	Now you got your answer in VINE form too - Link to vine.co
	Greg: JJ ICE FISH.
Britny bby giv me sum fuk, yes?	Christiano: Do it, Brittany. Giv hm sum fuk.
	Brittany: No fuks are given.
Kc- What does Kc stand for?	Christiano: Kansas City.
What are your hopes for super happy fun time?	Christiano: Well, seeing as we did it for Endemol, the biggest TV production company in the world, we obviously would love to see it make the move to TV. But our main goal for SHFTY was to prove to the world that Viners can act in longer than 6 second spurts.
	These guys are some of the funniest actors on the internet right now, so it was a dream being able to have comedic powerhouses bringing my ideas to life. I hope the world sees SHFTY and laughs. Because that's what we're really in this for, above all else.
How did you all meat?	Brittany: In a sausage factory.
	Greg: in an AA reject group group meeting of failed actors.
Are you guys creating this series to keep your famous life alive since Vine is dying rapidly (and has been for months)?	Christiano: We're doing it because we love making people laugh, and YouTube gives us a bigger canvas to do so.
	Also, I think the claim that Vine is dying is a bit premature. Especially with Viner's followings growing at 500,000 new followers a month.
	Brittany: Hahahahhahaha! YES.
	Brittany: Dats true Christiano.
How did you guys first discover and get into vine?	Brittany: I was bored and just messing around on my phone one day when I stumbled across it.
Absolute favorite song at the moment?	Brittany: "Set it Off"- Diplo.
	Christiano: Bedbugs by The Limousines.
When does the next video come out?	Christiano: Monday! Starring the incomparable Brittany Furlan.
What is the rudest comment you've ever received?	All shit remarks just make me laugh.
Brandon: How long did you work for subway?	Brandon: Too long.
Is vine dead? Is there a god?	Christiano: I'm pretty sure KC James is god. Vine's not dead, it's just a teenager.
Brittany just wanna say thanks to you and all the vine girls (Simone, Kiya etc) for proving women are fucking hilarious. Also Natalie Nature is my spirit animal and please tell Simone I love her and she should have got on SNL ok thanks.	Brittany: Thanks girl! You da best! XO.
Who's the hottest guy on social media.	Kc: Wahlid Mohammed.
	Christiano: This guy named Wahlid Mohammed. But i heard he's gay.
	This guy with the eyebrows of a goddess.
	Brittany: Gordon Ramsay
Love you Brittany and your vines! P.s. your dogs are adorable!	Brittany: Aw, Thank you so much. Kisses from dem.
Magcon broke up	Kc: :(
	Greg: no worries, all the black Viners are starting "Black Con".
	Brandon: HOW AM I GONNA MARY MY BAE CAM DALLAS NOW!?! WHY IS LIFE EVEN WURTH LIVIN?!?!
	WAAATTT??? Raises arms in the air, weeps uncontrollably
	Christiano: It feels as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
I'd just like to say HI to all of you and thank you for bringing laughter into many lives. Sketch comedy had always been my favorite platform and I looked forward to seeing more from all if you and SHFTY!	Christiano: Thank you!!! So happy to make you laugh. That's why we get up n the morning.
	Brittany: Thank YOU! kisses you on mouth
Brittany: No question here. I just stopped by to say that I think your vines are hilarious and you are awesome! If you are ever in the San Diego area you should totally drop by and say hello.	Brittany: Thank you so much :) Let's touch tongues sometime.
Just want to say Brittany, you have really inspired me to come out of my shell and embrace my weirdness! You and your 2 adorable dogs kick so much ass!	Brittany: Thank you so much. Weird is good. Never be afraid. I'm here with you. X.
	Christiano: Brittany was also born in a shell. Well, more of a chrysalis really. She's a moth.
Come back you guys :(	Christiano: We're still here!
Brittany Furlan is easily the most grating person I have ever seen.	Brittany: Thank you so much! Love you too.
	Christiano: Right? Let's throw her down some stairs...
	Greg: I think she's hot, but my taste in women have been questionable over the years.
Thats a little much.	Christiano: Oh... okay... nevermind then.
Brittany you are my favorite vine and i wish i could meat you	Brittany: Thank you. If you Meat me, will you eat me?
	Christiano: You want to make her into meat?
Brittany, love your vines and your snaps so funny and cutes...PLEASE MARRY ME!	Brittany: Ok, just give me a time and location.
I call bluff.	)
Whuuurrrgggaaahhh.	Christiano: Exactly.
Brittany you're my fucking favorite. That is all I have to say.	Brittany: I really appreciate that. Dad? Is that you?
Not really a question, but a statement—	Kc: Hey thanks! I'm glad I can do that for ya!!! :) Kc: Really? Christiano: I'd pay to see that.
KC, you're the best looking man on vine. And you crack me up!
Do Any Of You Smoke Weed?	Brittany: ... No comment...
Brandon: Where did you get that freakin' sweet jacket you sometimes wear in your vines? Sooo nice.	Thank you for the compliment. I got it at a shop called ''Moist Men'' in West Hollywood. All the men there were really nice to me, for some reason...
Brittany, what is your favorite movie?	Hmmm... That's a tough one... probably Kill Bill.
Brittany, what is the half life on your boobs? Also you make awesome vines and instagrams and snapchats. Stay gold ponyboy.	Brittany: They're already starting to expire... I'm about to to put them on markdown.

Last updated: 2014-05-07 23:42 UTC
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Betta Lemme, Category: Artist, Singles: Mommy, I'm Bored (Conjur1ng Remix), I'm Bored, Play (Loris Cimino Remix), Play, Top Tracks: Give It, Mommy, Play, Bambola, Kick The Door, Biography: Betta first introduced the world to her outrageously magnetic breed of pop with “Bambola”—a three-song EP whose title track landed in heavy rotation after its release in Europe, with its video amassing Feature.fm Smart Link. On behalf of Ultra Records, Feature.fm sets cookies that can identify you as a visitor. The cookie is used to personalize your user experience and with accordance to our privacy policy: Betta Lemme (born April 30, 1993 in Montreal, Canada) is an Italian-Canadian singer, songwriter, director and multi-instrumentalist. Both her parents are of Italian descent. In July 2016, Lemme was featured on a single titled "Awoo" which she co-wrote with American DJ duo Sofi Tukker. Lemme's debut single "Bambola" was released officially on 10 November 2017. On 29 January 2018, Lemme made her first-televised debut performing her single "Bambola" on RAI 1's Che tempo che fa. PLAY by BETTA LEMME published on 2019-04-02T18:54:45Z. Genre Pop Comment by 🌙 Playyyy. 2020-12-02T18:51:14Z Comment by Sneeczar. You make liteRal baby making music . 2020-08-31T21:58:00Z Comment by Abd11. But since you laid eyes on me😍 2020-04-27T20:49:51Z Comment by Kaya. I love it so much !!🌟 2020-03-01T20:13:22Z Comment by Bayan Abdulkarim. perfect. 2019-11-13T13:46:14Z Comment by Listen to Play by Betta Lemme, 419,720 Shazams. Allo Bonjour Ha! Hi (hey) I didn't get your name Love (love) I feel so out of place 'Cause (hmm) I don't usually come to parties I'm a little bit shy but naughty But since you laid eyes on me (I want to) Get up and move my body I'm a little bit shy but naughty But since you laid eyes on me (I want to play) La-la-la-la-la-la A-la-la-la-la-la-la It “Play” is a 2019 single by Canadian singer Betta Lemme, co-written with jesse saint john and Danny L Harle and produced by the latter. In an interview with Paper Magazine , Lemme explained her play. give it. bambola. kick. shop. contact. dear diary d o w n l o a d / s t r e a m. che cazzo. Betta Lemme's 'Play' Sounds Like a Lost Vengaboys Anthem by Erica Russell. Paper Magazine. 26 April 2019 . When artists get together in the studio for the first time, the session can typically go one of two ways. It can either be a major waste of time — with a clear lack of musical chemistry or, even worse, disastrous creative clashing between artists — or result in something fresh and Betta Lemme (born April 30, 1993 in Montreal, Canada) is an Italian-Canadian singer, songwriter, director and multi-instrumentalist. Both her parents are of Italian descent. In July 2016, Lemme was featured on a single titled "Awoo" which she co-wrote with American DJ duo Sofi Tukker. Lemme's debut single "Bambola" was released officially on 10 November 2017. On 29 January 2018, Lemme made her first-televised debut performing her single "Bambola" on RAI 1's Che tempo che fa. Betta Lemme - Play Şarkı Sözleri [Intro] Allo Bonjour [Verse 1] Hi (Hey) I didn't get your name Love (Love) I feel so out of place 'Cause (Hmm) [Chorus] I don't usually come to parties I'm a little bit shy but naughty But since you laid eyes on me (I want to) Get up and move my body I'm a little bit shy but naughty But since you laid eyes on me (I want to play) [Post-Chorus] Yeah la, la, la

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Betta Lemme - Give It (Official Video) [Ultra Music] - YouTube

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