"You're going to play gotcha questions with me?" - Sen. Cory Gardner (R-CO), asked if he thought Joe Biden won the election

Don't Wayne On My Parade

Eleven days after the election ended in decisive victory for Joe Biden, Republicans’ continued performance of uncertainty about the outcome is as appalling and dangerous as it is unrelentingly embarrassing.

• On Tuesday, the two Republican members of the Wayne County Board of Canvassers briefly refused to certify the election results in Michigan’s largest county, for a very valid reason that definitely wasn’t “Detroit has a lot of Black voters and we don’t think their votes should count.” (Against all odds, a white man in a polo shirt summed up this stunt best.) The Republicans reversed course on Tuesday night, for a very badass reason that definitely wasn’t “reporters started finding all the racist memes on our Facebook pages.” As a cherry on top, Donald Trump missed the memo and congratulated his would-be coup enablers on their courage, after they had agreed to certify the results.
  
• His hopes of stealing away Michigan’s electoral votes dashed, Trump has turned to Wisconsin, a state he lost by more than 20,000 votes. The Trump campaign has filed a petition for a recount, but only in Wisconsin’s two largest, most Democratic-leaning counties, for a very solid reason that assuredly wasn’t “we’ve been through this, that’s where all the young and Black voters are.” That partial recount cost the campaign $3 million, but if you can pay Rudy Giuliani $20,000 a day to rattle off conspiracy theories at an exasperated judge, what’s a few million dollars to lose Wisconsin again?
  
• As profoundly dumb as all of this is, it is also incredibly corrosive. It’s no particular surprise that Trump fired DHS’s cybersecurity director Chris Krebs for the crime of debunking his lies about the election having been stolen from him, but it deserved immediate, unanimous condemnation. Instead, Democratic lawmakers have spoken up, while Republicans, with a few half-hearted exceptions, have sat on their hands. What will it mean for future elections that a defeated president fired an official who safeguarded this election’s integrity and then told the truth about it, and a whole political party said “sure”?
  

Republicans might be blowing up democracy in slow-motion, but at least most of them aren’t pretending to agonize over it.

• Sources who have spoken to General Services Administrator Emily Murphy say she’s been struggling with her unilateral decision to delay the presidential transition, and feeling like she’s been put “in a very difficult position.” Boy have we got great news for Emily: This one’s actually super simple. There’s no real doubt about who won the election, so you can just go ahead and sign that piece of paper! Get a marketing job and move to Paris! You’re free!
  
• In the meantime, Joe Biden has been pushing ahead with transition briefings from outside experts. Those briefings have limitations, as advisors outside of the government won’t have the most up-to-date information, and can’t share classified intelligence. The White House has refused to provide even basic coronavirus data to the transition team, and in spite of the lives hanging in the balance if sabotaging the transition creates problems with vaccine distribution, HHS Secretary Alex Azar said the department won’t communicate with the Biden team until the GSA signs off.
  

Each of Trump’s far-fetched coup maneuvers has flopped, but way too many Republicans have been happy to give them a whirl, and there’s no reason to think they wouldn’t try again in an election with closer margins. Whatever surreal elements of this year we eventually shove down the memory hole for our collective sanity, that fact can’t be one of them.

Look No Further Than The Crooked Media

On today's Keep It stream, Ira, Louis, and Aida discuss Candace Owens and Ben Shapiro's fervor over Harry Styles wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue: "The hilariousness of 'bring back manly men.' Where do you want them brought?" Watch and subscribe → youtube.com/crookedmedia

Under The Radar

Donald Trump just gave the worst possible job to a former speechwriter who was fired for having white nationalist ties. The White House dismissed Darren Beattie in 2018 after it came to light that he had spoken at a white-supremacist conference, back when that was something the Trump administration could still be shamed about. Beattie then took a bunch of taxpayer money from Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), in a violation of House rules. Following that proud interlude, Trump has welcomed Beattie back into the administration fold with an appointment to the Commission for the Preservation of America’s Heritage Abroad, which was established for the specific purpose of preserving the memory of Holocaust victims. Sixty-three days until the Inauguration.

What Else?

The official U.S. coronavirus death toll has surpassed 250,000, and more than three million people are estimated to be currently contagious. Doctors on the coronavirus task force warned Vice President Mike Pence that the U.S. could see an average of 2000 deaths a day by Christmas (Scott Atlas was presumably in the bathroom), and urged Pence or Trump to stress the importance of mitigation efforts from the White House podium.
Neither of them has any scheduled plans to do so, but White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany called statewide coronavirus restrictions “Orwellian,” if that’s helpful to anyone?
New York City’s public school system will shut down for in-person learning on Thursday (though bars, restaurants, and gyms are still open, lol), and Gov. Kim Reynolds (R-IA) has joined a growing number of Republican governors in issuing a mask mandate for the first time. All straight out of Animal Farm.
The FAA has cleared Boeing’s 737 Max to resume flights, 20 months after grounding it following two fatal crashes and roughly 100 years before we will agree to step foot on one.
Trump has ordered the rushed withdrawal of troops from Iraq and Afghanistan, though not the total withdrawal he had campaigned on. According to one administration official, this is part of the White House’s galaxy brain strategy to light more fires than Biden can put out.
Well, here’s unelected Sen. Kelly Loeffler (R-GA) violating Senate ethics rules by soliciting donations from a federal office building. Let’s send her home, yes?
Donald Trump was terrified he would be cut in half by lasers at the opening of his Atlantic City casino in 1990, while “Eye of the Tiger” was blasting over the loudspeakers. Just a nice little image to carry close to your heart.
Rockefeller Center’s bummer of a Christmas tree has been widely deemed a metaphor for 2020. The tree’s resident owl who was just minding his own business before getting dragged into midtown can confirm.

Be Smarter

One of the biggest takeaways from this election has been “Latino voters are not a monolith,” and while much of that analysis has focused on Florida, it’s just as true everywhere else. In Texas, Trump became the first GOP presidential candidate in a century to win Zapata County, which is more than 94 percent Hispanic or Latino. Dissecting the result the requires understanding the specific character of South Texas, where most Spanish-speaking residents self-identify as Tejano. Most consider themselves American above all else, wouldn’t identify as people of color, and have positions on gas and oil, guns, and abortion that are closely aligned with the Republican Party. The Trump campaign recognized and effectively targeted that specific community, and Democrats will need more than generic messaging to win it back.

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Is That Hope I Feel?

A federal judge has blocked the Trump administration’s policy of using the pandemic as an excuse to turn away migrant children seeking asylum at the border.
Pfizer now says that its vaccine actually seems to be 95 percent effective, and, implicitly, that Moderna can eat its shorts. Pfizer plans to apply for emergency use authorization from the FDA within days.
The FDA has issued emergency use authorization for the first at-home rapid coronavirus test.
Tiara Mack has become the first openly LGBTQ Black person elected to the Rhode Island state Senate, at age 26: “I'm going to be unapologetically Black, I'm going to be unapologetically queer, and I'm going to be unapologetically young, and I'm going to push back against the system that tells us we don't deserve justice now.”

Enjoy

Philip Michaels on Twitter: "This Senate hearing looks like the tale of a marooned lighthouse keeper and the robot butler he built to stave off loneliness."

No good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough.
-Roger Ebert
The length of TLJ was the most common criticism by far, with 50% of RT Top Critic's citing it as a problem. Thus, this is the longest entry of this series, and possibly the last, unless I do a smaller part on niche issues. Previous parts cover Humor and Canto Bight.

The movie is overstuffed with plot, and by the time the visually intoxicating and eye-popping last showdown happens, it feels like a set piece that should have been saved for the next film. At a whopping two hours and 32 minutes, “The Last Jedi” overstays its welcome just a tad.

Katie Walsh, Tribune News Service - Fresh

Writer-director Rian Johnson steps into the franchise fray and does a creditable, if uninspired, job. At about 2-1/2 hours, it’s a long sit.

Peter Rainer,Christian Science Monitor - Fresh

Rian Johnson delivers a film that’s a bit too long at 2½ hours

Calvin Wilson, St. Louis Post-Dispatch - Fresh

Does the movie, like its predecessor, rely on familiar tropes a bit more than it should? Yes, I think it does. Is it, at a solid two-and-a-half hours, considerably longer than it needed to be? Yes, that too.

Christopher Orr, The Atlantic - Fresh

It’s simply too long at two hours and 36 minutes – and sometimes too damn much. The screen is so crowded with character and incident that you might need a scorecard to keep up.

Peter Travers, Rolling Stone - Fresh

The problem is that the narrative threads connecting them are lazily knitted and sometimes tangled or broken. The overall plot is underwhelming and there’s far too much padding, especially during the first hour. There’s a sense that Johnson is giving busy-work to certain characters while others are catching up. The Last Jedi is a great 105-minute movie stretched too thin.

James Berardinelli, ReelViews - Fresh

The midsection sags and, other than the heroes’ desperate attempts to survive, there’s no central story line to pull the various satellites of action in its wake. Some of the characters, like Captain Phasma, get frustratingly little screen time.You feel the 2½-hour length at points.

Ty Burr, Boston Globe - Fresh

The movie, though - at 152 minutes, easily the lengthiest in the series - drags in the middle, particularly when Rose and Finn go off on a complicated mission to disable an enemy tracking device. The subplot not only goes nowhere, it takes forever to do so, and makes me wonder if this new trilogy is going to have the same problem as the prequels - material for two terrific films stretched out over three.

Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger - Fresh

The film’s paunchy middle section includes a trip to a casino that might better have ended up on the cutting-room floor. The unnecessary padding accounts for the 152-minute running time, a franchise record, which will test the patience (and bladders) of even the most devoted followers.

Peter Howell, Toronto Star - Fresh

Nor is its frankly excessive 152-minute running time. There is no excuse for a long, inessential stampede of runaway space horses that has zero value beyond the sheer "Ben-Hur" spectacle of the thing.

Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune - Fresh

Johnson's many additions become too much of a good thing and The Last Jedi grows crowded, busy and long. Johnson's dialogue is flat and sounds stilted in the mouths of his younger actors, while their comic delivery can be so offhand that it dismisses the jokes.

Kate Taylor, Globe and Mail - Rotten

The film simply drags too much in the middle. Somewhere in the film’s 152-minute running time is an amazing 90-minute movie.

Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly - Fresh

Johnson at times overreaches trying to balance these separate storylines and myriad of characters into one cohesive unit. Lupita Nyong’o has nothing to do in her glorified cameo appearance, while the Del Toro section fails to reach its potential. The result is a bloated running time of about 2 ½ hours — that includes about seven different points in which I was sure the movie was going to end only to see it continue to plow ahead. You always want your Star Wars films to move at light speed, not drag in the middle.

Mara Reinstein, Us Weekly - Fresh

At other points in the 152-minute film, time should have been compressed, and wasn’t. The storytelling bogs down in a middle section having to do with finding a code-cracker who can gain access to an enemy destroyer. (A dubious character played by Benicio Del Toro isn’t sufficiently amusing.) Kylo’s inner conflicts, while central to the plot, leave him looking awfully mopey for long periods of time as he struggles to resolve them.

Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal - Fresh

With a running time of two and a half hours, “The Last Jedi” drags a bit in the second act. Ridley and Hamill are great together, but the Reluctant Jedi act plays on for at least one scene too many.

Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times - Fresh

Johnson’s effort is ultimately a disappointment. If anything, it demonstrates just how effective supervising producer Kathleen Kennedy and the forces that oversee this now Disney-owned property are at molding their individual directors’ visions into supporting a unified corporate aesthetic — a process that chewed up and spat out helmers such as Colin Trevorrow, Gareth Edwards, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. But Johnson was either strong enough or weak enough to adapt to such pressures, and the result is the longest and least essential chapter in the series.

Peter Debruge, Variety - Fresh

Unfortunately, The Last Jedi has almost as much Attack of the Clones as it does The Empire Strikes Back in that it’s overlong, under-edited and has at least one particularly long-winded CGI flurry of a sequence that harkens back to the darkest days of the franchise. There’s no whining about sand getting everywhere and the acting is really strong across the board (Hamill is particularly great back in Jedi robes, ham and all) but The Last Jedi could definitely have used a second editorial pass.

Matt Oakes, Silver Screen Riot - Fresh

At 2 1/2 hours, Star Wars: The Last Jedi could have been tightened-up in the editing room, cutting out that bloated middle section and removing things like Maz Kanata’s cameo and the cute slave kids which feel like they dropped in from a totally different movie. When it works, it really works but when it doesn’t, it feels like bad fan-fiction with a million dollar budget.

Niall Browne, Movies in Focus - Fresh

I can only wonder what The Last Jedi might have been with Finn and Poe taking a backseat (like how the latter was absent for three-quarters of The Force Awakens) so thirty minutes could be cut and the “important” stuff made tighter. Because there is a great film within what’s ultimately a good one.

Jared Mobarak, BuffaloVibe - Fresh

Whereas the first half is a sort of a convoluted mess just for the sake to pad out the runtime especially with an inconsistent tone, "The Last Jedi" becomes a dark and exciting sequel that becomes the film you've been looking for by the 75-minute mark.

Rendy Jones, Rendy Reviews, Fresh

the film is probably 10-15 minutes too long. Yes, Snoke (Andy Serkis) was not given near enough explanation and Phasma (Gwendoline Christie) was wasted.

Robert Daniels, 812filmreviews - Fresh

It's a two-and-a-half hour movie. It needs to be good in its own right, not just setting up for the next episode.

Tony Baker, Tony Baker Comedy - Rotten

Johnson ends up biting off more than he can chew. He's juggling too many storylines, and takes too long to move the narrative forward. Fatigue sets in about three-quarters of the way in. He doesn't heed the lesson of the chapter “Jedi” often resembles, “The Empire Strikes Back.” That film, still the best “Star Wars.,” ended with a whopper of a cliffhanger. Johnson resists the urge to leave most of his strands unresolved, and as a result his film begins to feel unwieldy when it should be picking up momentum. At two and a half hours, it could have used a trim of at least 15 minutes.

Ruben Rosario, MiamiArtZine - Fresh

but there are problems with the first half of "The Last Jedi." After an exciting initial space battle, to say that the mid-section of the movie drags would be an understatement. First, both prominent new characters Rose and DJ seemed shoe-horned in, and Rose especially doesn't seem to have a real place in this film nor does she add anything to be hopeful about in the future. And while both Rey and Poe fans will probably be pleased with where their characters go, Finn sort of takes a step back, as he is sent off on a side adventure that seems like second-tier Star Wars. It's a diversion that takes up a good portion of the film and really serves no purpose to the overall story...worse yet, it seems to contain some heavy-handed political messages not commonly found, at least not this blatantly, in the Star Wars universe. These are more than just quibbles too: Most fans will not be used to the slow, lumbering pace or the general unevenness of this film...especially coming on the heels of the action-packed pacing that JJ Abrams brought in Episode VII.

Tom Santilli, AXS.com - Fresh

Star Wars: The Last Jedi is also, at two hours and thirty-two minutes, the longest of the nine movies thus far, and deep into the second hour it can feel a little draining. There’s some stuff that feels extraneous (the whole Canto Bight sequence, which seems to exist to set up a new Lando-like character played by Benicio del Toro), and the cycle of attack and retreat — mostly retreat — gets a bit monotonous.

Rob Gonsalves, eFilmCritic.com - Fresh

At times it burns a tad too slow: two-thirds through its jam-packed 152 minutes, I felt the need for a 7th-inning stretch.

Michael Sragow, Film Comment Magazine - Fresh

Aunque este clímax habría funcionado bien como final, “The Last Jedi” no termina (desafortunadamente) después de esto. Es seguido por otros 40 minutos, con baches, en los que los héroes se reúnen y tienen que pelear una batalla final. Sin embargo, la película pierde un poco de su trazabilidad aquí, cuando los personajes, las fuerzas y las explosiones siempre aparecen exactamente donde se necesitan para la trama.

Ruben Peralta Rigaud, Cocalecas - Fresh

The movie’s main failing is that it tries to stuff too much plot into its over-long 2 hour and 30 minute run time. The result is an ending that feels endless and anti-climactic while several elements that could have been gob-smacking feel rushed and underdeveloped. It particularly does a disservice to Kylo Ren, as we’re never quite sure what his motivation is.

Megan Basham, WORLD - Fresh

I both loved it and strongly disliked it at the same time. I feel like there's a really great movie in there, all the pieces are there, everything is brilliant, but then there's a lot of extra fat that needed to be trimmed off or rearranged or omitted completely.

Steph Cozza, Aggressive Comix - Fresh

At two-and-a-half hours, with about nine separate cliffhanger endings, it’s a bit long

Bill O'Driscoll, Pittsburgh City Paper - Fresh

If you can accept the excess, the weird humour, the entirely inessential subplot, and the fact that it could stand to end a scene earlier, then the series will continue to thrive in a galaxy far, far away.

Alex Doenau, Trespass - Fresh

The script is flabby; every scene has purpose, but certain aspects feel overlong and jarring. Just like Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, it also suffers several endings too many.

Owen Richards, The Arts Desk - Fresh

At two and a half hours, this is the longest Star Wars picture to date, and I wondered if they’d tried to pack too much in.

Molly Laich, Missoula Independent - Fresh

I’m saying some of this movie seems a little half baked, and also overstuffed. If there’s any kind of movie I want to be over two and a half hours long, it’s a Star Wars movie. But, at that length, it needs to be a really good Star Wars movie, not a so-so one. The Last Jedi is so-so.

Bob Grimm, Reno News and Review - Fresh

The Last Jedi has a few good ideas but these are utterly lost amidst an over-long and utterly unsatisfying overall plot. Replete with poor dialogue, irritating tonal shifts and superfluous scenes, The Last Jedi adds very little to the saga except an overwhelming sense of disappointment not felt since the release of The Phantom Menace.

Richard Dove, International Business Times - Rotten

It is more than 150 minutes long. It has too many plot twists and too much fighting and too many characters.

Mark R. Leeper, Mark Leeper's Reviews - Fresh

Many have complained or commented on the length of The Last Jedi. It did start to feel long towards the end, yet I don’t think it was due to the actual time stamp of the film. Instead, I believe it is because of the drawn out plots within the film itself. Many parts of the story are over showcased destroying the strength and believably in the plot.

Stephanie Archer, Film Inquiry - Fresh

This film did not need to be 152 minutes and should have been closer to the 120 minute standard established by the earlier films. I hope one day we’ll see a fan cut that is actually closer to two hours.

Chris Gore, Film Threat - Fresh

The Last Jedi is still overstuffed, slightly too long, reliant on some vaguely-defined powers, and mostly consists of an endless chase towards a shifting MacGuffin.

Vincent Mancini, FilmDrunk - Fresh

The Last Jedi is 50 fucking minutes too long, and the most excruciatingly boring movie that has ever been released in this franchise. And this is a franchise that once opened up a movie by talking about controversial tax legislation.

Tim Brayton, Alternate Ending - Rotten

The Last Jedi has some issues. Pacing is the biggest one. This is the longest Star Wars film so far, and it feels like it. Johnson does his best to hustle from one location to the next, but the narrative has a tendency from time to time to drag.

Chris Evangelista, Slashfilm - Fresh

While Luke leads the Force thread, the battle between good and evil, the rest feels a bit standard issue action film lurching through one, or two, too many cycles of near peril. This is in part down to writer-director Rian Johnson and also down to patchy leads.

Aine O'Connor, Sunday Independent (Ireland) - Fresh

Writedirector Rian Johnson’s movie is underwhelming. Where it falters is a story that borrows heavily from others in the franchise like The Empire Strikes Back. That I can live with, but I can’t live with unnecessary length. This is an overdone 2 1/2 hour movie that would have been a terrific 90-minute extravaganza.
The first hour drags. The predictable second hour is just as tedious in more spots than not before Johnson finally moves you to the even more predictable slam bang action of the last half-hour.

Gary Wolcott, Tri-City Herald - Fresh

At 152 minutes, The Last Jedi is the longest of the nine Star Wars films to date — it’s also the only one where the length is felt. While all the scenes involving younglings should have been deep-sixed, the rest of the fatty tissue can be forgiven, since it simply meant Johnson wanted to make sure fans were saturated and satisfied. Yet there aren’t many vignettes that couldn’t have benefited from a judicious trim here or there.

Matt Brunson, Creative Loafing(Charlotte) - Fresh

At 2 hours and 32 minutes, the longest ever in the series, there are lots of highlights and probably a few too many endings

Pete Hammond, Deadline Hollywood Daily - Fresh

Despite the Rey-Luke drama, the first half of The Last Jedi is its most lumbering and uneven, never really clicking as it rambles through its multiple plotlines in a manner that feels simultaneously rushed and overlong.

James Kendrick, Q Network Film Desk - Fresh

However, there are moments towards the end of the film that feel as though they are just a tad unnecessary, that the race to the finale is going on just a little too long.

Irene Falvey, Film Ireland Magazine - Fresh

So what's necessary to know about the 40th anniversary "Star Wars" is that, at two and a half hours, it's at least a half-hour too long (maybe 45 minutes) and it's overfull of the usual digital battle sequences which so many of us have come to consider a wee bit old hat in the decades since "Star Wars" introduced us to a new thing back in 1977.

Jeff Simon, Buffalo News - Fresh

Johnson has sorted all of this material into an elaborate roundelay that feels endless (the movie is way too long at two and a half hours). Surely sections of the film could have been trimmed—maybe the Laura Dern scenes, which cry out for compression, or the training sequences with Luke and Rey (in which he says things like "Reach out with your feelings").

Kurt Loder, Reason Online - Fresh

The film is long, however, and begins to feel more than a little labored by the time the various epic showdowns finally take place.

Piers Marchant, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - Rotten

A lot of “The Last Jedi” is engrossing and emotional—but there’s also the long runtime, uneven pacing, and slightly underdeveloped characters to deal with. “The Last Jedi” is often exceptional, but its desire to do too many things, tell too many stories, and continue expanding its own cast and narrative makes the film fundamentally imbalanced.

Roxana Hadadi, Chesapeake Family Magazine - Fresh

There is a great deal going on in The Last Jedi and the way it splits off the main characters into separate but intertwined stories makes for a long, over-plotted film that even starts to drag a little in the middle.

Allan Hunter, Daily Express (UK) - Fresh

A few of the goofier comic moments fail to land and true to the legacy of Lucas there’s a fair amount of eye-wincing dialogue. More importantly, the second act bows under the weight of too many narrative strands; Finn’s away mission comes off as a bit superfluous, as does Laura Dern’s Vice Admiral Holdo, and both Rose and the beloved Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo) are sadly underwritten. In a trade-off that brings scope and complexity, Johnson has sacrificed narrative efficiency.

Christopher Machell, CineVue - Fresh

If “The Last Jedi” has a main flaw it’s that it’s too long at just over two-and-a-half hours. When the film is cross-cutting between the escape of the Resistance and the showdown with Snoke, one might assume this was the climax of the film. In fact, there’s much more to come.

Daniel M. Kimmel, New England Movies Weekly - Fresh

At 152 minutes, "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" is too long, and could have been trimmed by at least 10-15 minutes.

David Kaplan, Kaplan vs. Kaplan - Fresh

Despite being overlong and drenched in déjà vu (replete with conversations about one’s parents, whether or not one will ‘turn’, whether one is the last hope or the new hope, etcetera etcetera) I appreciated a lot of The Last Jedi, in the same way I appreciate re-reading a decent book – respecting the structure and craft of it, and feeling no sense of surprise.

Luke Buckmaster, The Daily Review/Crikey - Rotten

At 152 minutes, “The Last Jedi” is probably 20 minutes too long yet never fails to entertain.

Maria Sciullo, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette - Fresh

If some of these detours drag on a bit, hampering momentum and bulking up The Last Jedi’s not-entirely-necessary two-hour-and 32-minute runtime, well, at least the various locales are fun to look at.

Rebecca Pahle, Film Journal International - Fresh

a running time of 152 or so minutes that easily could have been tightened down quite a bit

Jim Judy, Screen It! - Fresh

While many complained – justifiably – that the previous entry, The Force Awakens, was nothing but a remake of 1977’s A New Hope, the same sort of narrative déjà vu is at play here, to a certain degree. Equally troublesome is Jedi’s bloated running time. Clocking in at 2 ½ hours, the movie seems longer than it actually is due to the fact we’re going over well-covered narrative territory.

Charles Koplinski, Illinois Times - Rotten

It’s too long by a good 30 minutes, feels like two films mashed together, has about five endings and it seems to be taking cues from the George R. R. Martin school of right-angled plot twists.

Patrick Kolan, Shotgun Cinema - Fresh

Overly long and consistently clunky, The Last Jedi ultimately proves a bit of a mixed bag. Too often the dialogue is exposition heavy and played for easy laughs.

Tom Glasson, Concrete Playground - Fresh

The Last Jedi is overlong, heavy-handed and fun if mostly uninspired.

James Verniere, Boston Herald - Fresh

At 151 minutes, the film is overlong and repetition sets in, not just for this film but for the series in general

Laura Clifford, Reeling Reviews - Fresh

The Last Jedi is the party that never wants to end. It keeps going and going – and going – until there is no corner of the house left to decorate. It pushes all the buttons. It is constantly in competition with itself (it comes with two huge ending sequences). It is also baggy in places, and that’s not something I’d expected.

Chris Wasser, The Herald (Ireland) - Fresh

At the same time, it does take a while for “Last Jedi” to get up to speed. Some of the humor feels a little distracting and the lengthy final product suggests a tighter execution might have felt more resonant.

Josh Terry, Deseret News (Salt Lake City) - Fresh

Or maybe it's just a case of "The Last Jedi" itself overstaying its welcome with a running time topping two and a half hours.

Greg Maki, Star-Democrat (Easton, MD) - Fresh

This is the longest Star Wars movie yet, clocking in at 150 minutes, and it has at least one ending too many, and a middle that sags a bit.

Rain Jokinen, MullingMovies.com - Fresh

We’ve seen this story before. Sure, “stuff” happens over the film’s 157-minutes but our main characters remain pretty much in the same place. You’d swear time stands still.

Dana Barbuto, The Patriot Ledger - Fresh

“The Last Jedi” is the longest of the “Star Wars” efforts (152 minutes) and feels it

Brian Orndorf, Blu-ray.com - Fresh

At 152 minutes, it’s also way too damn long. And Rian Johnson should not have been allowed to write and direct. The script is a problem — it has only two really great “moments” which isn’t enough for 152 minutes. But it also doesn’t feel quite right — the language, the iconography, the weirdly campy humor at the beginning — it doesn’t feel a part of the Star Wars universe.

Ray Greene, CineGods.com - Rotten

But the character moments and the explorations of moral ambiguity aren’t quite compelling enough to compensate for the slow pacing in the middle (one thing a Star Wars movie should never be is dull), and it takes too long to get to the most rousing action sequences.

Josh Bell, Las Vegas Weekly - Fresh

I don’t want to be too generous. I would cut 15 minutes out. There are editing choices that leave the film feeling choppy when it should feel smooth.

David Poland, Movie City News - Fresh

In truth, it takes a very long time to get from the film’s exhilarating start to that moving sign-off. Stars Wars: The Last Jedi lasts fully two-and-a-half hours, and there were moments towards the end when I felt like one of those poor Cubans listening to Fidel Castro at the height of his oratorical vigour: just as you’re planning your route to the exit, it lurches into yet another new lease of life.

Brian Viner, Daily Mail (UK) - Fresh

Editor Bob Ducsay moves the individual sequences along with dispatch; it isn’t his fault that at two-and-a-half hours the movie overstays its welcome. That’s the fault of Johnson’s decision to pile climax upon climax as if they were on sale at Screenplays-R-Us, apparently unwilling to jettison any of the ideas he’s had for propelling the story forward.

Frank Swietek, One Guy's Opinion - Fresh

Which leads into another problem I mentioned briefly earlier -- the pacing. Watching the first hour, I had the uncomfortable sense that maybe it needed trimming by about ten minutes or so, and that Rey's and Luke's story kept stalling and going in circles for a while. Then, the pacing in the last hour is so spot-on, it confirms all of those earlier feelings. Adding to the problem is the choice of starting point for the film. I realize kicking off with a more action-driven sequence has benefits, but it felt disorienting since we remember how the last film ended and probably want to pick up that thread first. It was an easy call, I feel, and the film's choice merely confirms my own sense that there was a better option.

Mark Hughes, Forbes - Fresh

The 2 hr and 30-minute runtime really hurt the film. I feel like there are just certain spots throughout the film where it just drags. It hard to pinpoint exactly when and where they occur on just one viewing but I was definitely bored at times.

Scott Menzel, We Live Entertainment - Fresh

“The Last Jedi” suffers from “The Lord of the Rings” syndrome — it seems like it might never end. It also poaches scenes, ideas and moments from “Harry Potter,” “The Hunger Games” and “Guardians of the Galaxy.”

David Frese, Kansas City Star - Fresh

At 152 minutes, “The Last Jedi” runs long, with a bit too much time spent on Ahch-To. And Hamill — who shares the weathered, lion-like look of modern-day Robert Plant — turns in a true love-it-or-hate-it portrayal of an aged Skywalker.

Ross Raihala, St. Paul Pioneer Press - Fresh

At over two-and-a-half hours, the film had me reconsidering if I really needed a Finn v. Phasma fight, or a five-act structure. So consider the urgency. A wordsmith in his own right, Johnson seems to be dumbing himself down here for the sake of the brand. He manages to pose some of the most complex ideas on morality and war this franchise has ever attempted, but is forced to breeze through and cap them off with trite buzzwords.

Conor O'Donnell, The Film Stage - Fresh

The film is overlong at two and a half hours, and you may well catch yourself thinking “this could probably have been cut.”

Jonathan Hatfull, SciFiNow - Fresh

Yes, it’s probably half an hour too long. There is a whole section that feels out of kilter and harks back to the CGI naffness of the prequels — and is also virtually pointless to the plot.

Jamie East, The Sun (UK) - Fresh

The middle section loses its shape and is subject to longueurs.

Ian Freer, Empire Magazine - Fresh

The Last Jedi is the longest Star wars movie, and it does feel like it. The third act is a beating drum of moments that each seem like they could be a satisfying climax.

Susana Polo, Polygon - Fresh

Where the film falters is in its pacing. Even jumping between three storylines, there’s a lack of momentum at times as no one is really going anywhere. The Resistance fleet is crawling away from the First Order; Rey is in a stalemate with Luke on Ahch-To; and obviously things aren’t a breeze on Canto Bight. And yet the dramatic tension of the first two storylines hold up intact. The fleet storyline plays like the excellent Battlestar Galactica episode “33” and everything is Ahch-To is great because Johnson is doing some fascinating things with the character dynamics between Rey, Luke, and Kylo Ren. But the Canto Bight stuff is a bit of a drag, and then you feel it in final act of the film where, despite some amazing moments, you can’t shake the feeling that The Last Jedi is probably a bit too long even if it’s difficult to know what to cut.

Matt Goldberg, Collider - Fresh

There's a lot going on - too much. The film could have used a hard edit to lose about 20 minutes or more. Resistance ships explode and the fleet's fuel running low, but it doesn't keep us on the edges of our seats. Poe, Rey and Finn- the new heroes we're supposed to fall in love with - are uncharismatic and bland.

Julie Washington, Cleveland Plain Dealer - Fresh

Star Wars: The Last Jedi is a long work of art that doesn't know when to quit

Scott Mendelson, Forbes - Fresh

If there's a problem, it's only that it's a little too long at two and a half hours (a first for the franchise), which might prove challenging for younger viewers. It turns out you can have too much of a good thing after all.

Matthew Turner, Hero Collector - Fresh

Tran is a rock-solid addition, but here, and elsewhere, one is reminded of the deftness of editing on both (yes, both) previous trilogies. Intercut sequences that moved swiftly in earlier films feel clumsy. Where once the passing of time was cannily implied yet compact on screen in, say, “Empire,” in “Last Jedi,” well ... you can fit a lot of movie into 152 minutes.

Joe Gross, Austin American-Statesman - Fresh

But The Last Jedi’s two-and-half-hour sprawl still includes an awful lot of clunky, derivative, and largely unnecessary incidents to wade through in order to get to its maverick last act. This is especially true when it comes to the plausibility-straining mission of stormtrooper turned Rebel Alliance fighter Finn and puckish series newcomer Rose Tico.

Sam C. Mac, Slant Magazine - Rotten

Some tighter editing would have relieved most of my mid-movie tension — as well as my bladder concerns as “The Last Jedi” stretches to an unnecessarily long 151 minutes. If not for that spectacular final act, it would be tempting to refer to it as “The Lasts and Lasts and Lasts Jedi.”

Christopher Lawrence, Las Vegas Review-Journal - Fresh

The Last Jedi is a whopping two-and-a-half hours, and it would have been much improved if an editor had taken a lightsaber to its less crucial sections.
To cut a long story short (and I wish Johnson had cut his own long story short): if you’re getting bored halfway through The Last Jedi, hang on in there. Just when you think it’s about to end, it really gets going.

Nicholas Barber, BBC.com - Fresh

For the first half of a punishingly long film, we repeatedly cut back to Star Wars Island where Rey is begging Luke to train her as a Jedi.

Donald Clarke Irish Times Rotten

There are times, however, when the wow factor and compelling character beats give way to the feeling that Johnson lost the run of himself with the film's duration, and that the longest adventure in Star Wars history really didn't need that distinction.

Harry Guerin, RTÉ (Ireland) - Fresh

Several characters remain underdeveloped, and appear as well dressed plot devices which contribute to an unevenness hard to justify in the 151 minutes running time.

Jon Lyus, HeyUGuys - Fresh

Even Johnson’s sense of fun and mischief can’t sustain the film for two-and-a-half hours; the warring gets boring. One scene is replayed three times with different interpretations but it’s hardly Rashomon and a movie this long can’t afford to dawdle. No one could mistake The Last Jedi for an outstanding contribution to cinema, or even to escapism, but it has its attractions.

Ryan Gilbey, New Statesman - Fresh
Indeed it does, Ryan. And that concludes part III. TL;DR:TLJ is TL.

Bit of a pointless post but something I was curious about. Combining all the lyrics from DCFC songs Ben has written, here are all the words used and the frequency of them.
834 the 587 and 479 you 432 i 369 a 356 to 264 in 235 of 180 that 175 your 148 it 146 all 144 me 141 so 140 on 135 my 132 we 125 be 123 but 121 for 119 as 116 when 114 was 113 with 110 is 107 this 100 are 85 no 84 they 82 it's 77 there 77 from 76 our 76 like 72 there's 69 know 68 will 66 what 64 just 61 you're 61 love 61 at 60 can't 59 don't 57 if 56 never 56 gold 54 were 54 rush 54 down 52 time 52 through 50 nothing 49 i'm 48 away 47 out 47 not 46 have 46 could 44 oh 43 where 43 way 42 into 41 'cause 40 heart 39 same 39 one 38 then 38 only 37 how 37 every 36 see 36 i'll 35 would 34 some 32 more 31 up 31 find 30 been 30 back 29 their 28 won't 28 why 28 here 28 do 27 who 27 or 27 can 26 now 26 by 26 an 25 stay 25 new 25 got 25 go 24 sun 24 something 24 she 24 little 24 feel 24 around 23 you'll 23 sunlight 23 open 23 night 23 i've 23 always 22 used 22 home 22 had 21 you've 21 us 21 than 21 said 21 didn't 20 wanderer 20 too 20 let 20 left 20 keep 20 he 20 days 19 they're 19 long 19 both 19 about 18 think 18 them 18 sound 18 say 18 make 18 lines 18 life 18 hold 18 eyes 18 end 18 change 18 boys 17 want 17 these 17 off 17 loved 17 his 17 cause 17 before 16 someone 16 skin 16 past 16 need 16 gotta 16 am 15 we'll 15 waiting 15 take 15 spend 15 remain 15 ooh 15 head 15 far 15 fall 15 doors 14 true 14 that's 14 tell 14 place 14 people 14 mind 14 inside 14 hear 14 alone 13 underneath 13 turn 13 things 13 sea 13 old 13 move 13 morning 13 man 13 live 13 last 13 i'd 13 get 13 fool 13 did 13 behind 13 air 13 again 12 words 12 unlocked 12 trying 12 took 12 told 12 thought 12 much 12 many 12 friends 12 ever 12 come 12 along 11 thing 11 still 11 slowly 11 sky 11 should 11 seems 11 remember 11 look 11 light 11 her 11 haunted 11 hard 11 free 11 everything 11 digging 11 black 11 bed 10 years 10 year 10 well 10 those 10 such 10 street 10 slow 10 room 10 monday 10 modern 10 knew 10 hope 10 getting 10 face 10 even 10 empty 10 drive 10 dream 10 day 10 dark 10 came 10 best 10 age 9 wonder 9 we're 9 under 9 turned 9 town 9 thinking 9 someday 9 side 9 safe 9 possess 9 once 9 ocean 9 near 9 moved 9 meet 9 lying 9 kept 9 help 9 hands 9 fire 9 finally 9 door 9 distance 9 disappeared 9 city 9 begin 9 beautiful 9 anymore 8 windows 8 while 8 truth 8 tried 8 tonight 8 speak 8 soul 8 right 8 please 8 pity 8 mouth 8 mirror 8 mean 8 leaving 8 lead 8 kind 8 hole 8 gonna 8 glass 8 give 8 floor 8 fading 8 fade 8 everyone 8 ending 8 cannot 8 burning 8 burn 8 break 7 young 7 you'd 7 worse 7 within 7 wish 7 wind 7 wha 7 walls 7 walking 7 until 7 tears 7 standing 7 speed 7 sometimes 7 sleep 7 quite 7 own 7 over 7 oo 7 name 7 motion 7 mine 7 may 7 making 7 lonely 7 leave 7 ho 7 hand 7 ground 7 gives 7 filled 7 fear 7 dreamt 7 different 7 debris 7 cool 7 body 7 better 7 being 7 ask 7 arms 7 anything 7 alright 7 alive 7 'til 6 yet 6 upon 6 two 6 try 6 today 6 times 6 thread 6 talking 6 takes 6 synapse 6 sycamore 6 summer 6 stop 6 start 6 stars 6 spoke 6 soon 6 sleeping 6 single 6 play 6 paper 6 nothing's 6 names 6 myself 6 mess 6 memories 6 made 6 looking 6 lights 6 its 6 higher 6 hearts 6 he's 6 has 6 half 6 grows 6 gone 6 girls 6 ghosts 6 full 6 found 6 first 6 felt 6 feeling 6 fast 6 ends 6 else 6 el 6 either 6 each 6 dorado 6 document 6 couldn't 6 clothes 6 closer 6 clear 6 call 6 california 6 built 6 bring 6 brain 6 belly 6 believe 6 bah 6 bad 6 baa 6 awake 6 another 6 against 5 yourself 5 yes 5 work 5 window 5 went 5 watching 5 watch 5 wasn't 5 wanted 5 wait 5 turns 5 together 5 three 5 thin 5 tangled 5 talk 5 taken 5 swim 5 summer's 5 stage 5 song 5 somewhere 5 shoulders 5 shoes 5 set 5 seem 5 screaming 5 scene 5 saw 5 save 5 sad 5 roll 5 revolved 5 read 5 rain 5 put 5 pretend 5 pass 5 parallel 5 nue 5 must 5 moving 5 mistakes 5 mistake 5 meets 5 lovers 5 lost 5 lose 5 listen 5 lips 5 line 5 late 5 kid 5 ing 5 hotel 5 hides 5 held 5 heaven 5 grow 5 gotten 5 goodbye 5 gave 5 gates 5 frame 5 followed 5 follow 5 faster 5 fair 5 faces 5 expect 5 enough 5 engine 5 dying 5 drunk 5 dress 5 dancing 5 cut 5 cruel 5 cracks 5 concrete 5 compromise 5 close 5 cars 5 buildings 5 broken 5 binds 5 between 5 beside 5 bend 5 below 5 began 5 because 5 beast 5 any 5 angeles 5 above 4 yeah 4 wrong 4 worth 4 without 4 winter 4 who's 4 white 4 which 4 wheel 4 wedding 4 water 4 wanna 4 walked 4 waited 4 view 4 vast 4 twisting 4 travels 4 thinner 4 teeth 4 steel 4 started 4 squeaking 4 space 4 softly 4 smoke 4 skyline 4 simply 4 silence 4 sent 4 sense 4 s 4 run 4 rooms 4 road 4 return 4 rest 4 reach 4 plays 4 perfect 4 outside 4 other 4 occurred 4 northern 4 nights 4 news 4 mountain 4 miles 4 met 4 machine 4 los 4 looked 4 less 4 leaves 4 learned 4 lay 4 known 4 keeps 4 ivory 4 information 4 ice 4 hurricane 4 houses 4 house 4 holding 4 him 4 hills 4 highway 4 guns 4 guess 4 gets 4 forget 4 forever 4 flows 4 flames 4 fingers 4 filling 4 father 4 farther 4 fact 4 everybody 4 escape 4 embrace 4 earth 4 dreams 4 doubt 4 done 4 dear 4 darkened 4 crawling 4 condescending 4 comfort 4 clouds 4 closed 4 climbed 4 climb 4 clean 4 child 4 car 4 cameras 4 calling 4 brothers 4 boy 4 bound 4 bones 4 blinding 4 blame 4 beneath 4 awoke 4 autumn 4 after 3 youth 3 yours 3 world 3 working 3 worked 3 word 3 wine 3 wife 3 what's 3 weeks 3 we'd 3 wave 3 watched 3 warm 3 wander 3 vultures 3 very 3 vacancy 3 understand 3 type 3 twin 3 trust 3 top 3 tired 3 tiny 3 though 3 thinks 3 tether 3 television 3 taste 3 tall 3 sweet 3 swallowed 3 surround 3 supposed 3 strong 3 streets 3 stranger 3 storm 3 stood 3 stays 3 stayed 3 station 3 static 3 stare 3 stand 3 stable 3 spread 3 spent 3 speaks 3 snow 3 smaller 3 slip 3 slept 3 skies 3 size 3 sink 3 singing 3 signs 3 sights 3 shroud 3 shared 3 series 3 self 3 second 3 seat 3 seasons 3 searching 3 school 3 saved 3 satisfied 3 runs 3 running 3 rubble 3 river 3 rhythm 3 remains 3 remainder 3 regret 3 reflection 3 recall 3 really 3 re 3 rather 3 rainy 3 promises 3 possibilities 3 plates 3 plastic 3 planned 3 plan 3 plain 3 places 3 placed 3 part 3 others 3 ones 3 nowhere 3 noise 3 neighborhood 3 music 3 mother 3 monument 3 mistress 3 meant 3 matter 3 maps 3 makes 3 lover 3 lookin' 3 longer 3 lie 3 learn 3 lake 3 lack 3 kissed 3 kids 3 keeping 3 isn't 3 island 3 inaccurately 3 illuminate 3 hunger 3 hung 3 hours 3 horizon 3 hell 3 hang 3 grid 3 grey 3 grass 3 good 3 gon' 3 glued 3 front 3 four 3 fly 3 fish 3 feet 3 familiar 3 falls 3 failure 3 failing 3 explain 3 eventually 3 endless 3 embarks 3 echoes 3 easy 3 east 3 early 3 drown 3 double 3 doing 3 discover 3 died 3 die 3 diamond 3 design 3 defeated 3 defeat 3 deep 3 decide 3 death 3 countless 3 counting 3 count 3 comes 3 collide 3 cold 3 cloud 3 claim 3 cigarette 3 children 3 changes 3 ceiling 3 care 3 burst 3 brown 3 bright 3 breathe 3 bought 3 bottle 3 born 3 bodies 3 blurs 3 bird 3 become 3 became 3 beach 3 bar 3 band 3 astound 3 asleep 3 apartment 3 anywhere 3 ain't 3 ago 3 across 3 'no's 2 york 2 wreckage 2 worry 2 winter's 2 win 2 wild 2 wide 2 whose 2 whole 2 whiskey 2 weight 2 weathered 2 we've 2 waving 2 wash 2 wants 2 waking 2 wake 2 waitresses 2 vows 2 voice 2 vine 2 views 2 veins 2 upstate 2 untrustable 2 unobstructed 2 unfold 2 underground 2 unconscious 2 twos 2 twenty 2 tv 2 turning 2 truths 2 tripped 2 towards 2 touching 2 touch 2 tongue 2 tones 2 tires 2 tire 2 till 2 tied 2 ticking 2 thrown 2 threw 2 threes 2 thousands 2 thousand 2 they've 2 there'd 2 ten 2 technicolor 2 tear 2 taking 2 synchronized 2 symphony 2 sworn 2 swift 2 swept 2 sweat 2 sure 2 superhero 2 suit 2 strobe 2 strange 2 stranded 2 straight 2 store 2 stopped 2 stones 2 stomach 2 step 2 states 2 state 2 starts 2 starting 2 stands 2 stake 2 stairs 2 stacked 2 st 2 sputters 2 spring 2 splinter 2 spit 2 sphere 2 speaking 2 spat 2 spark 2 son 2 something's 2 someone's 2 soaring 2 smugded 2 smiling 2 smile 2 smell 2 slipping 2 slightest 2 slide 2 skid 2 six 2 sitting 2 sit 2 sings 2 silver 2 signed 2 sign 2 sifting 2 shrugged 2 show 2 shouldn't 2 shore 2 shift 2 shed 2 share 2 shards 2 shallow 2 shake 2 shadows 2 settling 2 setting 2 sets 2 separate 2 sees 2 seen 2 seemed 2 security 2 secrets 2 season 2 scream 2 scraping 2 scenes 2 sand 2 safety 2 rows 2 routine 2 role 2 roads 2 rhythms 2 resolve 2 repeat 2 renewed 2 remained 2 refrain 2 refine 2 red 2 record 2 recognize 2 reason 2 real 2 reading 2 reaction 2 reaching 2 ravine 2 railroad 2 radio 2 quietly 2 quiet 2 question 2 queen 2 pushing 2 push 2 pursuit 2 pulling 2 pulled 2 pull 2 prove 2 potential 2 portable 2 poor 2 point 2 piles 2 pile 2 picked 2 photographs 2 photobooth 2 photo 2 phone 2 peter's 2 perspective 2 peace 2 pavement 2 patterns 2 passing 2 passenger 2 parlor 2 pane 2 pages 2 packed 2 pack 2 pace 2 oxygen 2 overloads 2 overcoat 2 outrun 2 optimist 2 notes 2 network 2 nervous 2 needs 2 neck 2 morse 2 moment 2 misleading 2 mile 2 metal 2 message 2 mention 2 men 2 memory 2 melody 2 markers 2 map 2 magazines 2 losing 2 lonesome 2 living 2 let's 2 led 2 lawn 2 laughed 2 language 2 knows 2 knots 2 knock 2 killing 2 keys 2 jury 2 judge 2 jar 2 isolation 2 iron 2 invitation 2 intermittent 2 intentions 2 instincts 2 ingested 2 infinite 2 image 2 idealistic 2 hour 2 honest 2 homes 2 holds 2 hint 2 hill 2 hedgerows 2 heard 2 headlights 2 he'd 2 hardly 2 hardest 2 hair 2 guiding 2 guide 2 growing 2 grouped 2 greys 2 grave 2 granted 2 going 2 goes 2 god 2 glasses 2 giving 2 given 2 girl 2 gilded 2 ghost 2 further 2 furniture 2 funny 2 frost 2 friend 2 freeways 2 forward 2 foreign 2 foolish 2 fluorescent 2 flights 2 flight 2 flickering 2 flicker 2 five 2 fits 2 fit 2 fine 2 final 2 film 2 fill 2 figured 2 field 2 fiction 2 few 2 fences 2 fell 2 fearful 2 favorite 2 fault 2 faucet 2 family 2 false 2 falling 2 faithful 2 eye 2 except 2 evergreen 2 evening 2 entered 2 engulfed 2 easily 2 ears 2 ear 2 dusty 2 drowned 2 drove 2 drop 2 droop 2 driving 2 drinks 2 drinking 2 drilled 2 dressed 2 dollar 2 doesn't 2 does 2 dive 2 distracted 2 disorderly 2 disappointment 2 disappear 2 directions 2 details 2 desert 2 depths 2 deepest 2 decided 2 december 2 dealers 2 dead 2 daylight 2 date's 2 darling 2 darkest 2 darker 2 damn 2 cycle 2 curtain 2 cursed 2 currency 2 cup 2 crystal 2 cry 2 crowns 2 cross 2 crippling 2 crimes 2 crashing 2 country 2 conversations 2 construction 2 constant 2 coney 2 complications 2 completely 2 command 2 colors 2 color 2 coldest 2 code 2 coat 2 coast 2 clarity 2 circles 2 cigarettes 2 choice 2 chemicals 2 cheap 2 chattered 2 chase 2 chance 2 catholic 2 cathedral 2 cath 2 catches 2 carried 2 cans 2 candle 2 camera 2 cake 2 busy 2 bus 2 build 2 brownstone 2 brow 2 broke 2 bridges 2 bridge 2 bricks 2 bow 2 bounce 2 bottom 2 bored 2 book 2 blues 2 blue 2 bleed 2 beverly 2 bent 2 belong 2 believed 2 beginning 2 becomes 2 beauty 2 beat 2 bastard 2 ball 2 bags 2 baggage 2 backwards 2 backbone 2 aware 2 atmosphere 2 atlas 2 atlantic 2 assume 2 askew 2 arrived 2 applause 2 apologies 2 apart 2 anyone 2 anticipation's 2 answer 2 amputating 2 already 2 almost 2 alleys 2 alcohol 2 advancing 2 advances 2 admit 2 address 2 accident 1 zone 1 zeros 1 zentropic 1 z 1 youthful 1 youngest 1 yearning 1 yearn 1 yard 1 wrote 1 wrongs 1 written 1 writing 1 write 1 wrinkles 1 wrinkled 1 wretched 1 wrecking 1 wrap 1 wounds 1 worthwhile 1 worst 1 worn 1 works 1 workadays 1 wore 1 wool 1 wood 1 woken 1 woke 1 withered 1 wished 1 wires 1 wintery 1 winners 1 window's 1 winded 1 willow 1 whom 1 whispers 1 whenever 1 wheezed 1 wheels 1 wet 1 weights 1 weightless 1 weigh 1 week 1 weave 1 weather 1 weary 1 wearing 1 wealthy 1 weak 1 ways 1 waves 1 water's 1 wasting 1 wasted 1 waste 1 washes 1 warn 1 warming 1 war 1 wall 1 walk 1 waits 1 vowels 1 volume 1 voices 1 vision 1 violent 1 villain 1 vile 1 vicious 1 vessels 1 vessel 1 versus 1 verse 1 vengeful 1 vending 1 veiled 1 vase 1 varies 1 variables 1 van 1 valleys 1 valley 1 vacant 1 uv 1 using 1 urge 1 urban 1 upwards 1 upstream 1 upside 1 upcoming 1 unwired 1 unseen 1 unresponsive 1 unknown 1 uninspired 1 unfounded 1 undone 1 underwhelming 1 understood 1 understated 1 unconditionally 1 umbrate 1 twists 1 twine 1 twilight 1 twice 1 tvs 1 turnstile 1 tunnels 1 tunneled 1 tunnel 1 truly 1 trudged 1 trouble 1 trend 1 tree 1 treble 1 treasures 1 treacherous 1 travel 1 trapped 1 transistor 1 trains 1 train 1 trailed 1 tragic 1 traffic 1 trades 1 traded 1 track 1 tracing 1 towers 1 tower 1 towed 1 tourists 1 tourist 1 tour 1 touched 1 toss 1 tortured 1 tomorrow 1 tombs 1 tokyo 1 toes 1 toe 1 timony 1 timely 1 til 1 tight 1 tide 1 tidal 1 thus 1 thursday 1 thumb 1 thses 1 throwing 1 throat 1 thoughts 1 thirty 1 thirteen 1 thinning 1 thicker 1 thickening 1 they'll 1 they'd 1 theme 1 thanksgiving 1 th 1 terrified 1 tenderly 1 temptation 1 temporary 1 tempo 1 tells 1 telling 1 telescope 1 teen 1 teachers 1 teach 1 taught 1 tattered 1 tasting 1 tastes 1 target 1 tapped 1 tape 1 tank 1 tangles 1 tan's 1 tamed 1 tame 1 tallest 1 taillights 1 tabloid 1 tables 1 swore 1 swings 1 swinging 1 swinger 1 swiftest 1 sweep 1 sweaters 1 swear 1 sway 1 survive 1 surprised 1 surprise 1 surfaced 1 surface 1 super 1 sunk 1 sung 1 sunday 1 summers 1 sum 1 suited 1 sugary 1 suffered 1 sufferance 1 suddenly 1 suburbs 1 suburban 1 subcompact 1 styrofoam 1 stutter 1 stung 1 stumbling 1 stumbled 1 stumble 1 studies 1 stuck 1 strung 1 strumming 1 struggle 1 stripped 1 strings 1 stretch 1 strength 1 streaks 1 streaking 1 strands 1 strain 1 story 1 stormed 1 stopping 1 stocking 1 sting 1 stick 1 stenches 1 steered 1 steeple 1 stature 1 stated 1 starves 1 stared 1 stamped 1 stained 1 stain 1 staggering 1 squid 1 squeezed 1 squeeze 1 squeaky 1 squares 1 springtime 1 springs 1 split 1 splicing 1 spinsters 1 spine 1 spilt 1 spending 1 speeding 1 speech 1 sped 1 spectrum's 1 speck 1 span 1 souvenirs 1 southern 1 south 1 soused 1 sour 1 sounds 1 soundly 1 sounded 1 sorry 1 sorrow 1 songs 1 solutions 1 solution 1 soles 1 solely 1 soldier 1 sold 1 soil 1 soft 1 soaking 1 snub 1 snowing 1 sneaky 1 sneaking 1 smoking 1 smiles 1 smells 1 small 1 slurring 1 slur 1 slot 1 slopes 1 slips 1 slippery 1 slick 1 slew 1 sleeves 1 sledding 1 slate 1 slander 1 slammin' 1 slacks 1 skyscrapers 1 skip 1 skinny 1 skills 1 sites 1 sip's 1 sins 1 singe 1 sing 1 since 1 simpler 1 similarity 1 silverstones 1 silken 1 silhouette 1 silenced 1 signals 1 sighted 1 sight 1 sides 1 sick 1 shutters 1 shut 1 shuffling 1 shrouded 1 shrine 1 shower 1 shovels 1 shop 1 shooting 1 shivers 1 shirt 1 shining 1 shines 1 shine 1 shifts 1 shield 1 shelf 1 sheets 1 sheen 1 shebang 1 shaved 1 shasta 1 shaking 1 shakedown 1 shades 1 shackles 1 sewing 1 seven 1 servers 1 seriously 1 sentence 1 sending 1 send 1 sell 1 selfless 1 seek 1 seeds 1 secret's 1 seas 1 seams 1 scripted 1 scrimped 1 screams 1 schemes 1 scent 1 scarves 1 scarf 1 scale 1 scaffolding 1 says 1 satellites 1 sat 1 sarcastic 1 sarah 1 sappiest 1 sang 1 san 1 saltwater 1 salivating 1 saddens 1 sacred 1 rusted 1 rushed 1 runway 1 rules 1 rule 1 rubber 1 royal 1 row 1 round 1 rotten 1 roman 1 roller 1 rocks 1 rock 1 robot 1 rises 1 ring 1 rights 1 righteous 1 ridge 1 ride 1 revisions 1 returns 1 returning 1 retreat 1 restrictions 1 restlessness 1 restless 1 response 1 resort 1 resolutions 1 resigned 1 resignation 1 reside 1 rescue 1 requiem 1 repressed 1 reports 1 reporting 1 replaced 1 repetition 1 repeats 1 repeating 1 rented 1 reminder 1 remind 1 remembering 1 relief 1 relax 1 reject 1 regardless 1 regal 1 refused 1 refined 1 reeling 1 reeks 1 reeked 1 reduces 1 redemptions 1 records 1 recollect 1 receptors 1 recently 1 receipts 1 receded 1 rearrange 1 realize 1 ready 1 react 1 rays 1 rationed 1 rate's 1 rank 1 ranges 1 random 1 raising 1 raise 1 rail 1 raggedy 1 radios 1 racket 1 quitting 1 quit 1 quips 1 quell 1 queens 1 quarry 1 quarreling 1 pushes 1 purpose 1 purity 1 punks 1 punk 1 pumping 1 pulp 1 proves 1 protect 1 propping 1 proposing 1 proof 1 promise 1 procession 1 problems 1 pristine 1 priest 1 pride 1 prices 1 prevail 1 pretty 1 pretentious 1 pretending 1 pre 1 prayers 1 prayer 1 praising 1 postcards 1 postcard 1 possoibilities 1 possible 1 possibility's 1 position 1 pose 1 porch 1 population's 1 pools 1 politics 1 pointed 1 poets 1 pockets 1 pocket 1 plymouth 1 plumes 1 plots 1 plot 1 plenty 1 pleasantries 1 pleas 1 plea 1 playing 1 playful 1 plate 1 plaster 1 plans 1 plaguing 1 plague 1 pixels 1 piss 1 pink 1 pinhole 1 pinch 1 pillow 1 pillars 1 pigtails 1 pier 1 pieces 1 pictures 1 picture 1 picks 1 picket 1 phrases 1 photos 1 phones'll 1 pews 1 person 1 permission 1 permanence 1 perforated 1 perfectly 1 perfection 1 pension 1 penance 1 pen 1 peered 1 peeled 1 peel 1 peak 1 payroll 1 payment 1 payin' 1 paycheck 1 patrons 1 patio 1 patiently 1 passes 1 passed 1 partyline 1 party 1 parts 1 parks 1 parking 1 parked 1 paris 1 parents' 1 parents 1 parent 1 parapet 1 par 1 panic 1 pangs 1 palms 1 palisades 1 pale 1 painted 1 paint 1 paid 1 page 1 packing 1 pacers 1 overturns 1 overturned 1 overrated 1 overpass 1 overloaded 1 overjoyed 1 overflow 1 overcome 1 outstretched 1 outdo 1 outdated 1 ottoman 1 organ 1 orderly 1 opinions 1 opened 1 oozed 1 onto 1 onset 1 one's 1 oncoming 1 olympia 1 older 1 offense 1 occur 1 occupy 1 obscure 1 objectively 1 nurse 1 numbs 1 numbers 1 note 1 non 1 noises 1 nice 1 next 1 newsstand 1 nerve 1 neighbors 1 needle 1 needed 1 nearby 1 navy 1 natural 1 named 1 mute 1 murals 1 moviescript 1 movement 1 mourning 1 motor 1 mothers 1 mother's 1 most 1 mopped 1 moonlight 1 moon 1 moods 1 monuments 1 months 1 money 1 model 1 mock 1 moat 1 mittens 1 misspellings 1 mississippi 1 mission 1 missing 1 missed 1 misguided 1 mirrored 1 mirages 1 minor 1 mined 1 minds 1 minces 1 millions 1 might 1 midnight 1 midday 1 microchip 1 messes 1 messenger 1 messaged 1 mend 1 memory's 1 melt 1 mellow 1 medians 1 medals 1 measly 1 meaningless 1 meaning 1 maze 1 mattress 1 math 1 mates 1 match 1 masterfully 1 master 1 mary 1 mark 1 marching 1 march 1 manuscript 1 manhattan 1 mangled 1 malls 1 makeshift 1 major 1 main 1 mail 1 magistrate's 1 magazine 1 machines 1 ma 1 m 1 lustrous 1 lust 1 lushing 1 lungs 1 lump 1 luck 1 loyal 1 lowered 1 loves 1 lovely 1 love's 1 lousy 1 loud 1 lot 1 losses 1 loosened 1 loose 1 longest 1 lodged 1 locusts 1 lock 1 loan 1 lives 1 lived 1 lipstick 1 likes 1 lighting 1 lighthouses 1 lighthouse 1 lifts 1 lifetime 1 lies 1 levitate 1 letting 1 letters 1 letter 1 lesson 1 lenses 1 lens 1 lengthwise 1 length 1 lend 1 legal 1 least 1 lean 1 leaks 1 lcd 1 lazy 1 layered 1 laughing 1 laugh 1 lattice 1 latitude 1 lathe 1 later 1 lanes 1 landlocked 1 lamp 1 lame 1 lain 1 laid 1 lady 1 ladder 1 labor 1 knuckles 1 knew' 1 knees 1 knee 1 kiss 1 kings 1 king 1 kinda 1 killed 1 kill 1 kicks 1 kicker 1 kick 1 keyed 1 key 1 kaleidoscope 1 justified 1 junctions 1 jump 1 judgement 1 joylessly 1 join 1 johns 1 jet 1 jealousy 1 jealous 1 jamc 1 jailhouse 1 jacket 1 itself 1 it'll 1 isolations 1 isle 1 islands 1 irreverence 1 irresponsible 1 irrationally 1 invited 1 invincible 1 inventions 1 interstate 1 intersected 1 interest 1 intentioned 1 intentionally 1 integrity 1 innocence 1 inlet 1 ink 1 inhibitions 1 inhale 1 inflicted 1 inflating 1 indoors 1 indicating 1 increasing 1 incomparable 1 incessant 1 impulse 1 impressed 1 impossiblity 1 important 1 impending 1 imagination 1 illegible 1 ignore 1 idle 1 ideals 1 ideal 1 idea 1 icu 1 hurts 1 hurry 1 hunted 1 hunt 1 hundred 1 humid 1 hum 1 hues 1 hudson 1 huddle 1 hovers 1 hot 1 horrible 1 hoping 1 hood 1 homily 1 homemade 1 homeland 1 home's 1 holly 1 hitched 1 hit 1 hipsters 1 hips 1 highways 1 high 1 hide 1 hidden 1 heros 1 hermit 1 here's 1 helplessly 1 helpless 1 hello 1 heavens 1 heavenly 1 heat 1 heart's 1 heal 1 heading 1 haven't 1 haunts 1 hated 1 harm 1 hardwood 1 harder 1 happier 1 happen 1 hammer 1 hallway 1 hadn't 1 habits 1 habit 1 gutters 1 gutter 1 gust 1 gun 1 guestroom 1 guenivere 1 grown 1 group 1 grounding 1 grooves 1 greyhounds 1 greyhound 1 grettings 1 greetings 1 greet 1 greenery 1 greed 1 greater 1 gray 1 gravitated 1 graves 1 gravel 1 grasp 1 grapevines 1 granite 1 grand 1 grace 1 grabbed 1 gossip 1 goodnight 1 goodbyes 1 glowed 1 glow 1 glove 1 gloomy 1 glitches 1 glimpses 1 gleam 1 glared 1 glances 1 glacial 1 girlie 1 girl's 1 gift 1 giants 1 geography 1 generator's 1 gears 1 gas 1 garbage 1 game 1 gallows 1 gag 1 furrowed 1 fund 1 fumbling 1 fulfilled 1 fuel 1 frozen 1 frowns 1 fronts 1 frolicked 1 fringe 1 frightfully 1 frighteningly 1 frightened 1 friction 1 freshest 1 freeway 1 freckles 1 francisco 1 framing 1 framed 1 fragile 1 foul 1 forwards 1 forth 1 former 1 formed 1 formal 1 forgiveness 1 forewarned 1 footsteps 1 fooled 1 fonder 1 follows 1 folds 1 folding 1 focusing 1 flying 1 flushed 1 flowers 1 flow 1 floors 1 floorboard 1 floes 1 floating 1 flinging 1 fleeting 1 flee 1 fled 1 flaw 1 flattered 1 flatlands 1 flat 1 flashes 1 flashbulbs 1 firsts 1 firm 1 firemen 1 firecrackers 1 finish 1 fingertips 1 fingertip 1 finds 1 finding 1 filthy 1 filter 1 films 1 figurines 1 figures 1 fields 1 fictions 1 fiberoptics 1 fence 1 feed 1 federales 1 fed 1 features 1 feathers 1 fears 1 faulty 1 fate 1 faraway 1 fantasies 1 fanned 1 fallen 1 faking 1 fake 1 faith 1 fail 1 fabric 1 expressions 1 explosions 1 explode 1 explanation 1 expense 1 expel 1 exit 1 exist 1 excuses 1 excited 1 exceptionally 1 exactly 1 everywhere 1 everytime 1 everything's 1 everyday 1 eroding 1 erasing 1 envy 1 envisioned 1 entertained 1 entertain 1 engaged 1 energy 1 endure 1 endlessly 1 encapsulate 1 employee 1 embers 1 embarrassed 1 else's 1 elegantly 1 elegant 1 eiffel 1 egos 1 edge 1 echo 1 eastern 1 dyes 1 dust 1 dumpster 1 dumping 1 dummy 1 dug 1 due 1 dry 1 drunks 1 drum 1 driveway 1 drips 1 drink 1 dresser 1 dreadful 1 drawn 1 drawers 1 drank 1 drama 1 drained 1 drag 1 downturn 1 downslide 1 dotted 1 doom 1 donor 1 dj's 1 divulge 1 division 1 divide 1 distorting 1 dissolving 1 dissolve 1 disruption 1 disputed 1 display 1 dishes 1 disguise 1 disgrace 1 discouraged 1 disconnect 1 disclosure 1 disarray 1 disappearing 1 dirty 1 dirt 1 direness 1 direction 1 dipping 1 dip 1 dinner 1 diminishing 1 diffusing 1 differences 1 difference 1 diet 1 dies 1 dialogs 1 devouring 1 devour 1 devoted 1 destroy 1 destinations 1 destination 1 desperate 1 despair 1 desire 1 deserted 1 descending 1 descended 1 deposit 1 depend 1 denver 1 demons 1 delicate 1 degrees 1 degraded 1 definitely 1 defined 1 define 1 defense 1 defacing 1 deeper 1 deem 1 deck 1 december's 1 deceive 1 deceit 1 decades 1 debt 1 debate 1 dealt 1 dazzling 1 daydreaming 1 dawn 1 daughter's 1 date 1 dash 1 darlin' 1 dangerous 1 dancehall 1 danced 1 dam 1 dakotas 1 cutthroat 1 cuts 1 cute 1 curtains 1 cursing 1 curse 1 current 1 curled 1 cups 1 cupped 1 culver 1 cue 1 crying 1 crust 1 crumbling 1 crumbled 1 crossing 1 crosses 1 crooked 1 crimson 1 crest 1 creek 1 creases 1 creaping 1 cranes 1 cracked 1 crack 1 courting 1 course 1 council's 1 could've 1 corrupting 1 correct 1 cornerbooth 1 core 1 cord 1 convince 1 conviction 1 control 1 continue 1 contest 1 contact 1 constellations 1 constantly 1 console 1 consequence 1 conscious 1 connections 1 congregation 1 confused 1 conduit 1 condos 1 conclude 1 conception 1 concept 1 comprise 1 compress 1 compliment 1 compete 1 compartment 1 compared 1 compare 1 company 1 committing 1 coming 1 comfortable 1 combing 1 colored 1 collision 1 collegiate 1 collapsing 1 colder 1 codes 1 cocktail 1 coats 1 coaster 1 coalinga 1 clove 1 cloth 1 closing 1 cliffs 1 clearly 1 cleansing 1 cleaning 1 classes 1 clasped 1 clanking 1 cityscapes 1 churches 1 church 1 chose 1 chords 1 choose 1 choking 1 choke 1 chock 1 chitter 1 chill 1 childish 1 chicago 1 chest 1 cherry 1 cheer 1 cheeks 1 checked 1 chatter 1 chased 1 charming 1 charmed 1 charity 1 changing 1 changed 1 champagne 1 chalks 1 century 1 centered 1 center 1 cemetery 1 celestial 1 caving 1 cave 1 causing 1 caught 1 catch 1 casualty 1 casual 1 castle 1 cast 1 casino 1 casing 1 case 1 cascading 1 cartoon 1 carry 1 carpet 1 carousel 1 carnival 1 cardigan 1 card 1 capturing 1 captured 1 capture 1 capsizing 1 capsize 1 caps 1 capable 1 cap 1 canyon 1 candid 1 calls 1 called 1 californ 1 calgary 1 cage 1 cafeteria 1 cabin 1 buzzers 1 buying 1 buy 1 butt 1 bury 1 bursting 1 burns 1 buried 1 burden 1 bumper 1 bumming 1 bum 1 bullets 1 bruises 1 bruised 1 bruise 1 brows 1 brought 1 brooklyn 1 brittle 1 bringing 1 brilliant 1 brightly 1 brightest 1 bride 1 bribes 1 breed 1 breaths 1 breathing 1 breath 1 breaking 1 breach 1 braved 1 brave 1 brand 1 brainstem 1 brainless 1 brain's 1 bracing 1 brace 1 boy's 1 boxers 1 box 1 bowties 1 boundaries 1 boulevard 1 bough 1 bottoms 1 bottles 1 bottle's 1 borders 1 bold 1 bodies' 1 bob 1 boats 1 blustery 1 blurred 1 blur 1 bluffs 1 bluer 1 bluebird 1 blossoms 1 blooms 1 blooming 1 blood 1 bloc 1 blissful 1 blips 1 blink 1 blinds 1 blinded 1 blew 1 blessings 1 bless 1 bleeding 1 bled 1 blatant 1 blasting 1 blanks 1 blank 1 blacking 1 blackest 1 bixby 1 bitterness 1 bite 1 bind 1 binary 1 billings 1 billboards 1 bill 1 bike 1 bigger 1 bible 1 beyond 1 betrayed 1 berlin 1 belongs 1 bellow 1 begun 1 begged 1 beer 1 bedroom 1 beating 1 beak 1 beacons 1 beacon 1 bathe 1 bath 1 basically 1 basement 1 based 1 barstools 1 barefoot 1 banks 1 bank 1 bangkok 1 bandwidth 1 backwashed 1 backfired 1 awful 1 awakes 1 autumn's 1 audiences 1 attraction 1 attitudes 1 attitude 1 attic 1 attend 1 attempts 1 attempting 1 attempt 1 attack 1 attached 1 asterisks 1 assuredly 1 assigned 1 asked 1 ashes 1 ascribed 1 ascensions 1 artifacts 1 arriving 1 arrives 1 arrange 1 arguments 1 arches 1 arch 1 appropriate 1 appetites 1 appeared 1 appear 1 anyways 1 answers 1 another's 1 angry 1 angels 1 amputee 1 amplify 1 amphetamines 1 amount 1 amongst 1 ambition 1 amaze 1 aloud 1 alley 1 alibi 1 alcoholic 1 alarmed 1 alarm 1 airport 1 airplanes 1 air's 1 aimless 1 aiming 1 aim 1 agree 1 ages 1 age's 1 afraid 1 advantage 1 addictions 1 actors' 1 ached 1 account 1 accidents 1 abuse 1 absorbing 1 absence 1 abscence 1 able 1 abhor 1 abandon 1 'round

NEW MESSAGE: FFEC 2017 DIRECTOR +4 OTHERS
Hello everyone! I hope all of you make it here to Harrisburg! Tomorrow will be the first day of the 20th Freddy Fazbear Entertainment Convention. You all will be staying at the Hilton Harrisburg near the Convention Center. More information will be provided in the following link...

My mind is completely blank right now. I am on a two-hour flight to Pennsylvania and I am still in shock that my curiosity and mind took me this far.

NEW MESSAGE: PETE Yo how are you doing bro, i arrived at the airport.

What have I gotten myself into?? I still can’t believe that a stupid theory and hobby have gotten me this far. I look down at my empty paper and think about what I need to say in my part of the panel.

Freddy’s was the biggest incident that has ever happened involving children at a locale of this nature. Big names have talked about this incident such as the likes of Stephen King and James Patterson, and this big tragedy has even garnered a fanbase among the paranormal investigation community. Even though it has been almost 26 years, some families are still affected by what had happened. I have spok-

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Midway through my writing, I get a text message.

NEW MESSAGE: PETE Dude, I think you need to hear this. “New development in the suicide of a 16-year old student; Police uncover deeper meaning.” Just hit the WaPo this morning. It talks about this Tanner Albright kid, who dropped out of school and went into hiding. In a nutshell, I am on to something. Tell you more at the port :)

I remember hearing about that, barely a blip on the newsfeed compared to all that coverage about the solar eclipse. That was an interesting text. Why not tell me now. You know what, screw it, I’ll just continue writing.

I have spoken at length about the so-called Missing Children Incident where five children went missing at the pizzeria back in the early 1990s, the disappearances of various night staff over the years, and the shady relationship between Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics. I am here to clear everything u-

BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ
Damnit Pete!

NEW MESSAGE: PETE Just a small check in on u. I herd the plane was delayed. Tru?

Just then, the pilot made an announcement:

“Hello folks, we are having a rough time here so just sit back for a moment. Put on your seatbelts everybody!”

You serious right now??? Even in 2017 a brutha can't get a break!
BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ

NEW MESSAGE: UNKNOWN ID I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. YOU CAN'T HIDE.

...
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK
Maybe it was just a simple prank. Let me not freak out the person next to me and piss my pants in the actual piss place.
Luckily I am right next to the bathroom.
I open the door and look in the mirror.
Yo, Isiah, chill out dude. It’s good.
I go back to my seat and go back to my music.
Oh shoot
I feel the migraine coming as the cabin rocks under the turbulence. Shit…
Pete's going to be so mad when he finds out… oh well.
Pete's waiting for me past security
“Ayyee, wassup my guy.” Pete greets me.
“Sup,” I reply.
“How long have you been waiting here, P?”
“Four hours. You hungry from that flight?”
“Yeah, let’s get something to eat.”
We walk around the airport looking for something to eat.
“Mickey Ds?”
“Hell yeah.”
We walk to the McDonald's across from us to get what I think is dinner. We wait in line to get our food. Pete orders a Big Mac and I order a normal cheeseburger with a milkshake. We sit down at the dining plaza tables and start eating.
“So how was your flight?” Pete asks.
"Bit rough," I reply.
"No shit, Isiah!" He pauses then asks, "you been taking the percs again?"
"Uhh..."
"Man, you gotta cut that shit out!"
"It's aiight… So… whatchu got?"
Pete pulls up the webpage on his iPad; it's that Washington Post article he mentioned in the text earlier, with a picture showing cops at some backwoods crime scene complete with yellow tape. The page linked to another webpage, this one being a local news site for the St. George Metropolitan Area:

Brushton Township police say that Tanner Albright, a high school student that committed suicide several weeks back, had plans to commit mass murder.
Hurricane Police Chief Clay Burke said in a news conference yesterday that detectives found further writings dated August 8 to August 20, detailing a five-step plan for a major killing spree.
An entry dated Aug. 16 said, "...this will be bigger than anything this country's ever seen, .......I've been planning this for a long time, it's going to be so much fun. They won't expect a thing. It will be a stain on American history unlike anything like it."
The entries also praised William Afton of Afton Robotics and the recently-deceased Henry Fasbach of Fazbear Entertainment, making heavy references to the series of child murders throughout the 1990s, believed to have been committed by someone impersonating a mascot at the pizzeria. An entry dated Aug. 17 said, "I'll look into those scared little bitches eyes before I kill them and watch the life pour out of their bodies like the river Nile ... have followers because I'm so awesome I know someone will follow me just like I followed William Afton's ... me and them want close to the same thing, It's going to be fun......They say oh this is horrible but they don't think like us like me Henry and William...."
Tanner's writings made heavy references to Satanism and the occult, and detectives believe the boy expected to die and then "rise again" on August 21, the day of a major solar eclipse. A memo entry dated Aug. 18 said, ".....I'm going to die doing it, I hate those people, when they interview my parents and ask how they didn't see the signs they should know it's not them it's me and it's because of how I see the world....I'll hurt and destroy something so much bigger and they'll all see....."
He had gone missing a week before his body was found nearby an abandoned bunker that he had apparently been inhabiting for the last few months of his high school attendance before dropping out.
On Thursday, the Washington County Medical Examiner ruled Tanner's death inconclusive.
Investigation into Tanner's home was rendered impossible due to a major break-in soon after the body was discovered, with the intruder stealing most if not all of Tanner's belongings and heavily vandalizing the remainder.
Police say the investigation will continue with additional interviews and review of the boy's other documents.
School counselor Harvey Dunn issued a news release Thursday afternoon, noting increased presence by law enforcement in all district buildings.

Oookay… damn. That was one messed-up kid. One look at this pasty white boy's face and I immediately think "this kid be blastin' on them fools". At least he didn't go down that route...
"And you're showing me this because..."
Pete pulls out a folder from his convention bag and shoves it to me. "Dude, it gets even weirder. This guy on Freddit, OracleIntuition, sent me these" he gestures to the contents of the folder; several photographs of a really crappy cosplay of Freddy that someone tried to make look "oh so sp00py" by wrapping red yarn all over it, dunno why.
"So it's a photo of some cosplayer, what does this have to do with-"
"Bruh, that's what I told him too. But he swears 1000% that this is the real deal, some real spooky shit. Like a real-life version of all those urban legends about the animatronics walkin' around at night? And you know the weirdest part? He says this is what Tanner meant when he said 'rise again'"
"Naw… you saying this kid turn himself into a Freddy??" I stop and think for a second.
“This is on some next level werewolf shit bro, I don’t think it’s real. It could be some really thought out fanfic.” I reply.
“Sure, whatever you say. Don’t start crying and running to me when some satanic ‘I Need Jesus’ Freddy comes for your ass.”
Yo, this is forreal on some other worldly stuff. I don’t think there is that much behind this thing, and I am a theorist who talks about dead children for god’s sake.
“Anyways, you wanna know what happened to me on the plane?” I say.
“Let me guess, the perc. I already told you-”
“No, I got this weird ass stalker level text. Sounded like someone from ISIS or some shit.” I show Pete the text message.
“How many codes have you been cracking my dude, Tanner the spirit school shooter is about to murder your ass.” Pete replies.
“This is not funny. I am hella scared right now. Why me though?”
“In all seriousness, this could be a joke or a wrong number thing. Either way it’s weird.”
“True bu-”
CAN I NOT GET INTERRUPTED FOR THE FIRST TIME.
“Hi guys, mind if I join you?” a familiar posh-accented voice says.
“Well, you could have as……. HOLY SHIT!” I scream, trying not to freak out even more.
To my surprise, it’s Dawko. The Dawko; the gamer and theorist. Is this real right now?
“Excuse my language, hello, of course you can join us.”
Pete and I give each other a glare. It’s the myth, the man, the legend, Dawko!!
“Sorry for my manners, my name is Isiah and this is Pete. I assume you are also here for the convention?”
“Oh yeah, I am. Are you part of a panel or a fan?”
“I am in the panel with my friend over here, we are under the name of ‘TheFreddleSquad’. You've probably seen our video on Freddy's, that is why we are here.”
“Ah yes I have, you are on the panel with me I think, right? I’ll check the schedule the director gave us.” Dawko looks down at his phone. “Yep.”
"So you just got here too? How was the flight?"
"Oh my God, 10 hours of torture all the way from Heathrow I swear," replies Dawko while stretching his back.
"I can't believe FazCon's been around for like 20 years, and 'cause of what? 'cause of some creepy urban legends here or there? I mean, have you seen the place? 'So come on down to mechanical bear pizza and child casino!!!'" we all get a good giggle out of that one.
We finish eating and we get all our luggage from pickup and we call an Uber.
We see our driver and he drives us to our hotel.
“Have a nice day!” Dawko shouts as he waves us off.
We wave back.
Approaching the lobby, it becomes pretty clear that we're not the only Faz-fans holed up in this joint. Already the place is full of enthusiasts and even some cosplayers. A cardboard Freddy sat down reading his tablet while some Foxy chicks (in BOTH senses of the word) hung round the pillars taking selfies. I even saw these two high as fuck guys dressed in black animal suits and I don't mean black like they used ink for the Ice Bucket challenge but like Vantablack shit.
Me and Pete get our room key from the counter and take the elevator up.
“Damn, we met Dawko.” I say.
“Yes, yes we did.” Pete replies
We get to our room and look around.
“I am glad we chose to upgrade to the two-room suite.” Pete says as he savours the moment.
I also savour it, as we examine every feature of the room, from the king-sized bed to the soft floors, everything is so perfect. While Pete flops down on the bed, I pull out my Surface Pro 4 and check the forums.
"Yo Pete check this out"
I'm on OracleIntuition's instagram account; there's a black and white selfie of a professional photographer, with images far superior to the ones Pete showed me at the airport. The caption was what piqued my interest, however:

oracleintuition Just flew into Harrisburg Intl.! Next stop, FazCon 2017!!!! 😊😄 #oracleintuition #ffp #freddy convention #fazcon

He's here?? Oh this might actually be interesting. I wonder what he has to say about the photos. But, time waits for no bruthas. We pack our gear and head off down the 20-minute walk from the Hilton to the Pennsylvania Farm Show Complex, where the FazCon is being held. Strolling past the milling tourists and congoers, we behold the massive convention center, the capital of Freddy's Fandom for the next 4 days. We take a quick power nap because we didn't go to sleep, and it's 6:30 AM and we have to arrive in an hour.
Still, that short nap's long enough for me to have this strange dream. I'm a little boy again, barely knee height and I'm at the pizzeria during a birthday party. I try to get closer but I trip and fall, and by the time I get up, the whole place is dark and empty, like in the middle of the night. Suddenly, I hear movement and a little kid struggling as he's being pushed around by this dude in a purple uniform, squealing all the while because his mouth's been covered. They disappear behind the door and I can hear muffled struggling behind it. I walk towards the door, but there's this huge stink and some weird-ass feeling I can't place. I'm scared.
The stage lights up and there's Freddy, except… where's Bonnie and Chica??? Plus, Freddy's facing the wrong way! I have a choice… go to that door or go to Freddy. I also get this tingling pressure and somehow I know that if I take my eyes off of Freddy for even one second…
Suddenly the door bursts open, breaking my concentration. Instinctively I turn to look and… nothing. Just an empty room. Oh fuck... I want, no, need to get to that door because if I don't, it's going to get me. Doesn't matter what "it" is. I break into a run, but the pizzeria seems to stretch out as my heart hammers, but I finally make it through the door, slamming it behind me. I wait for a few moments, straining to hear if what's out there's gone. Then slowly I turn arou-
 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I get up with a start, breathing heavily. just a dream, Isiah, just a dream. Shit… I shouldn't have let them photos get to me… fuck. I turn and look at the clock. Oh, 7:05, still have time. I wake up Pete, we wash our faces, and finally leave the hotel, before hailing a taxi to the Pennsylvania Farm Show Complex where the FazCon takes place.
And with that, we march headlong into the convention center.

WOW.

It. Was. HUGE.
To any '90s kid who was raised on a healthy diet of Freddy's pizza and Surge, this place was practically heaven. The halls were transformed into a giant Freddy Fazbear's pizzeria/museum with practically everything that would satisfy your inner child for days on end! There were arcades of all kinds, deluxe ball pits we could play in for hours on end, vintage Freddy's memorabilia on display including signs, posters, even some old relics like animatronics that never made it to production, each carefully labeled and presented like fashion mannequins at the mall. But instead of rowdy screaming children, the place was crammed full of excited teens and adults, many of whom were having just as much fun as they would at a Dave & Buster's. Tokens clattered as attendees queued up to play the arcade games as if this was Atlantic City instead of Pennsylvania. A group of highschoolers howled and high-fived as they won a goodstuff Bonnie plush at the claw machine. Not to mention the cosplayers. It was like back at the hotel but magnified a hundred fold, and some of the outfits were so good that it was difficult to tell whether they were just here to have fun or whether they were part of the exhibit! Passing by a Foxy and a Mangle dancing to Gangnam Style while waving around a Nerf gun, we entered a room labeled "CAM 01" just in time to watch a riffed vintage episode of Fredbear and Friends! that had everyone laughing their asses off for nearly the full 20 minutes.
After having my fun, I go to rehearsal for my panel. I see multiple familiar faces from FusionZ to WHAT Stephen King?! STEPHEN KING HOLY SHIT I JUST NOTICED. What the hell is he doing here? Isn't he supposed to be writing a book about a gay guy or something? Now I wish I hadn't sold my 1st edition copy of "Under the Dome" before getting his autograph (ugh!) I am going to go speak with him, and hopefully don't make a nuisance out of myself. “Hey Mr. King, odd seeing you around these parts?” I say. “Please, call me Stephen.” he replies. I JUST GOT PERMISSION TO CALL STEPHEN KING ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS OH MY GOD. “So what panel are you on, Stephen?” I just had to rub it in. “Panel 3.”
“Really? So am I!”
“Great! I don't really tell people this but, I am a huge fan of yours, your theories helped me write my book!”
Did Stephen King just call me one of his inspirations??????
FREDDLE SCREECH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
We stand there for a while.
“Alright then, catch you later!” I say.
Stephen walks away then waves.
"EVERYONE IN PANEL 3 PLEASE APPROACH THE FRONT FOR REHEARSAL” a man says over the speaker system
Alright… it's showtime.
It’s finally time for the biggest moment of my so-called career. I see the other panelists around me, most I met during rehearsal. I settle down in my seat while Pete plops down next to me.
“You ready bro?” Pete asks me.
“Yeah, I guess.”
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PLEASE WELCOME, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THE CONSPIRACY THEORIST GROUP WITH OVER A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE, THE FREDDLE SQUAD!!!"
Moment of truth time.
I get up to give my speech.
"Thank you! We are The Freddle Squad and it's so good to be back! Shout out to my boy Pete, FusionZ, Dawko, and the one and only Stephen King himself!"
I wait for the applause to die down before continuing. "Now, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria was the biggest scandal that has ever happened involving children at a locale of this nature. Big names have talked about the strange phenomena surrounding the restaurant, such as the likes of Stephen King and James Patterson, and this big tragedy has even garnered a fanbase among the paranormal investigation community. Even though it has been almost 26 years, some families are still affected by what had happened. I have spoken at length about the so-called Missing Children Incident where five children disappeared from the pizzeria back in the early 1990s, the unknown whereabouts of various night staff over the years, and the shady relationship between Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics. Pete and I have been researching this for the past few years and we are now here to clear everything up."
I give Pete a soft kick which means it’s his turn.
“As my partner said, these incidents weren’t accidents. The long running partnership between Afton Robotics and Fazbear Entertainment isn’t as sweet as you think. Rumors have been going around that the company owner William Afton, presumably deceased, and his good friend, the late Fazbear Entertainment owner, Henry Fasbach, who had recently taken his own life this past Spring, had a pretty good, hidden friendship when they weren’t making headlines, almost too good of a friendship. Bonding over the experience of having lost their only daughter, they plotted on getting revenge on their own creations. In Henry’s letter before his passing, he wrote 'I was absolutely infuriated and ashamed of my actions, my daughter had died in the hands of my creations. I wanted for people to know the pain.'
Henry and William's plan was to sabotage their own beloved animatronics, to prevent any future tragedy; though both William and Henry were thought to have had shady connections to various - shall I say it - suspicious suppliers and other companies, they felt confident in their success, that is until William's apparent disappearance about a decade later. Henry himself would soon vanish from public spectacle to devote to his research, shunning everyone, including family and friends. With Henry dead, and his ex-wife and nephew not talking, we can only speculate exactly what he discovered and the rationale behind his actions."
And with that we continue into our Freddle Squad spiel, enumerating the known facts about the tangled case that lay before us and then entertaining the most common theories as to what truly went down back at Freddy's. When we finish, the moderator sets up this round table like on ABC, where we discuss and debate the motives and history of the whole sordid affair. All in all, it's really fun, and we're quite proud of ourselves, now that we're talking on par with all the bigshots of this field!
"Well that was fun!" Pete exclaims in relief once we finish signing autographs and get ready to head out.
"Man Pete, we gon' get a LOT of subs for this."
"I know, right?" He finishes packing his gear and we head off to the next few panels.
As the hours go on, Pete's beginning to act a bit wack. I mean he's cool and all but I can tell something ain't right, or at least he thinks so. Keeps looking over his shoulder as if he just stuffed several iPhones down his pants at Target. And the selfies... never knew Pete to be the selfie type…
Suddenly he taps me on the shoulder. "Hey Isiah, I gotta go for a bit, wanna put these in the back?"
"Sure man! Where you gon' be at?"
"Arcade room. You in?"
"Nah, I wanna get some quality swag, want something?"
"It's cool man."
"Meet you in 30 then?"
"Yeah! Oh and one more thing,"
Without warning he pulls me close and snaps a selfie on his phone before heading off. well that was weird… I mean, really? What's with him and selfies all the sudden?
I walk through the crowd looking for anyone else I know. Oh! The photographer snapping pics of us at the panel! Imma go talk to this brutha.
"Hey, nice camera! Did you enjoy the panel?"
"Yeah, it was really illuminating! I especially liked the part where you discussed what happened to the Toy animatronics and-"
He goes on and on about- wait hol' up. I've seen this face round these parts before.
"wait a sec… aren't you that instagram photographer OracleIntuition?"
"Yup! The one and only!"
"Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy sup!" and we greet each other like bruthas do
"Those forest pics were the BOMB on instagram! Where you take those, Yellowstone?"
"Rockies in fact, heh heh" Isaac replies with a toothy smile
"Run into any bears in the woods?"
shit… me and my big-ass mouth...
For one half of a split-fucking-second he look at me like I stepped on his Nike Air Jordans, then gives a forced giggle.
"No bears, no stairs."
"Aw man wouldn't those be nasty!"
this n!gga be tweekin, man! Alright, think man, this is your chance!
"So, uh, what's your favorite animatronic?"
"Mine? Well, normally it'd be a toss-up between Bonnie and Freddy, but now I think I'm more of a Bonnie person-"
"Oh? What happened?"
He looked away for a bit then mused, almost as if to himself,
"Do you really think Henry and William got all of them?" He looks at me, and I feel like he's putting me on the spot.
"Well… " I begin. "Those two made a lot of the guys, who knows if there's one still lying in a dumpster somewhere and we don't even know about it…"
He didn't like that, but cat's out, so time to get direct.
"Why, you think Freddy's comin' for you?"
He bites his lower lip in thought before whispering,
"Utah Museum of Architecture and Robotics… you… you saw the pics, right?
he knows
"Yeah… but don't you think..."
"That it's a load of bear shit? That he's dead and that's it?"
Now he's getting in my face, eyes pleading.
"Listen bro, I don't know what the HELL that was, but what I saw, what I felt... That ain't natural. The more I look, the worse this whole Freddy stuff appears."
I nod, not really understanding what he's getting at.
"Look, I like what you do a lot, hell I've gotten many of my friends to subscribe to Freddle Squad themselves. But if there's one thing to keep in mind, it's-"
Isaac suddenly gasps and turns green before giving me this wide-eyed stare as he stammers; "I-I-gotta go. Catch you up later?" Before I can reply he speedwalks off towards the restrooms. Looking around, I can't see what could have possibl-
NO.
FUCKIN SATAN FREDDY IS HERE???
"Agh you fucking kids, I'll get even with you for this I swear to God!"
Freddy flails around picking out the stuff sticking to his fur… oh. It's just silly string. He catches me staring. "the fuck's so funny?" then he storms off as we watch in confusion.
Well…
What exactly did he want me to keep in mind?
A guy like Isaac? If anything, now I know Isaac ain't fooling around… either he got played, or…
Well he sure as hell believes it.
Whatever…
I had two options to soothe my nerves… percs or merch. Ain't that an easy choice…
 
Upstairs there's this area labeled "PRIZE CORNER" through some huge double doors, Fazbear Security lookalikes checking for badges. And for good reason.
"PRIZE CORNER" my ass.
This area is perhaps THE biggest room in the entire convention center, size of at least two NBA arenas, all covered from wall to wall with booths selling all kinds of merchandise!!!! Funko Pops, McFarlane sets, posters and wall hangings of all kinds. Still don't know why such popular companies would still endorse such a controversial brand though, better for the fans anyways! Plus, half of the room was fanart and fan crafts anyways, including art (all kinds), plushies (all kinds), and a wide variety of cosmetic and cosplay merch including OC fursuits costing at least 3 grand each.
Wait…
Is that what I think I see? LIMITED EDITION SANSHEE FREDBEAR PLUSH? HALF OFF!?! GIMME!! I push through the crowd and run towards it like a person running from a killer (off topic, what a coincidence)
15 singles later I'm hauling this brand new Sanshee Fredbear plush I've always been wanting to have to finish my collection in some gift bag over my shoulder, ready to wave it at his face once I finally catch up to him… aaaand Pete's nowhere to be seen. Well… so much for that I guess. Seriously? Dude can't have just bailed on me so soon.
I push past a gaggle of girls dressed up to look like the slutty versions of the Classic Freddy and Friends™ and find Pete talking with this security guard who clearly wasn't a Fazbear fan, occasionally pointing at his cell to show the guard something. As I'm about to call out to him, he finishes the conversation and bumps right into me. He looks very tense, which doesn't help at all.
"Dude, Pete, what's yo problem? Look, let's go somewhere more private so that we don't look like we're slinging rocks or something."
We walk over to this secluded corner and I confront him. "Dangit, boi! You've been acting all sorts of strange since our panel, taking selfies like 'that thot over there' and lookin' around acting all weird and shit. What the hell?!" Pete raises his hands in a defensive posture as I lay it on him.
"Alright Isiah, calm down, I can explain!"
Let's hear the worst.
"You know during that panel, there was this hoodie boy sitting all the way in the back, listening to his iPod or something?" I rack my brains to recall, but nobody in particular stood out to me-
wait…
"Was it some skinny Unabomber lookin' fella?"
"Yes! Yes it was!" Pete replies excitedly. "I thought he was just some weirdo at the wrong panel but then he started following us. I'd see him out of the corner of my eye but he'd always vanish like some ghost or something."
oh great, a crazed stalker. This day just keeps getting better and better...
Pete pulls out his cell phone to show me. "Here, have a look," he opens up the gallery and clicks on one particular selfie. All I see is his stupid grin, but then he zooms in on a corner, revealing the sunglasses-wearing "hoodie boy" who clearly looked sketchy as all hell. No drug dealer would be that careless to just walk around in broad daylight… right? Instantly, I'm reminded to that text I got from that creep back in the airplane.
"And that's not all… Isiah, look." He opens up a set of new text messages sent just about half an hour ago.

I see you Good talk, by the way Look before you leap You might not like what you find

BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ
Just then, I receive a new text of my own.

NEW MESSAGE: UNKNOWN ID You can still walk away. Or don't, it's up to you.

BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ

NEW MESSAGE: UNKNOWN ID Remember, the Shadows have ears.

*Oh hell no. *
“Yo Pete, I just got two texts from the same guy……”
“Who, the one from the airplane?”
"Yeah."
"shit."
Someone is clearly fucking with us, shit, shit, shit
“Maybe… maybe this is some creepy mega fan?”
“THAT'S STILL BAD.” Pete cries.
“Hopefully this is just a joke and it's not that important. You know what, let's get something to eat if that makes you feel better. I heard they have a really good place that make pizzas as good as Freddy's not to far from here. We don’t have to be here again until 4:00, that means we have 5 hours to spend.”
“That seems nice.” Pete replies.
We move through the crowd to get to the entrance, guarded by security wearing faux Freddy’s security guard gear. These guards look like they have something better to do.
We go to the front of the convention center near the pickup area.
“Uber?” Pete asks
I nod in agreement. Pete goes on his phone and pays for the ride.
I should invite Dawko to come eat with us.

TO: DAWKO ME AND PETE ARE GOING TO EAT, WANNA JOIN?

I never got to send that text; when I turn around I see an out-of-breath Dawko running from a mob of fangirls.
“HIDE ME!” he pants. We see the uber driver pull up on the curve.
“Hurry, go!” I say, motioning him to get his ass in the car as we follow suit, pulling an OJ Simpson down Main street like a Ford Bronco chased by the po-lice.
“Shit, you good bro?” I ask Dawko during the ride.
“Yeah, I guess.”
I'm now grateful that I'm not as famous as him.
The ride drags along. We talk to our Uber driver and actually have a decent conversation. He looked hella sketchy, though. He looked familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
“Behold, Bacco's!” I say as I get into to an introducing pose.
“Wineries?” Pete says confusingly
“NAME DOESN'T MATTER”
As we enter the building, the savoury scent of pizza fills my nose as I look around. When I look, there's this extremely cute girl, sitting by herself eating.
...
and she T H I C C
Yo brutha, you got this
“Yo dudes, one second.” I tell my party of two. Hopefully no one intervenes and I can talk to her.
“Ay, hold on there buddy-boy. You trying to get some of that, arencha?” Pete says.
It’s always the black man that can’t do anything.
“Yo, what the hell Pete. “
“It’s not my fault that you made it obvious.”
“Well it’s not my fault tha-”
WHY CAN’T I GET A BREAK. STOP INTERRUPTING ME!
“You know what, let's sit over there then.” Dawko says outta nowhere
Who invited this dude to the conversation?
Dawko talks to waiter for awhile and then we somehow get a table next to her.
I settle down in my seat while the others gather around me.
this is my chance!
Ok, to hook this girl I got to start off smooth and then work my way up.
"Whoa… is that a HERO6????"
Nice way to start a conversation, nerd. What’s next, let me guess, ‘You have some nice camera lenses.’ Dafuq were you thinking?
"Yup! Just came out too; well, it's not mine, really, my sister let me borrow it for this trip."
phew! Okay you can still save this
"Really now? Where you heading?"
"Centralia, just past Route 61."
Pete raises an eyebrow. "The ghost town?"
"Yeah! It's for my journalism class up in Penn State."
"Penn State? Where you from?"
"Oh, well, me and my sister lived in Maryland before I got accepted here."
"Sweet! Pete and I came up from Orlando." I clap him on the shoulder.
"Oh! What brings you all the way up north then?"
We give her a wide grin. "Fazcon 2017 baby!" showing our VIP badges.
“oh you mean the Freddy convention? I did see the ads, plus there's quite a few costumed guys running around the place." The lady shrugs. "Oh! where's my manners, I'm Charisma."
Cute name… DAMNIT ISIAH KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!
“I'm Isiah, this is Pete. Oh yeah, you probably know him already but this is Dawko, nice to meet you.”
Dawko gives a small wave. I am about to make my move until this guy, who kinda reminds me of that one buffed up jock in a high school movie, shows up and sits right next to Charisma (she still has a cute name- ISIAH KEEP IT TOGETHER.) The guy also puts his arm around her.
Please don't tell me it's her bo-
“Oh, this is Jason, who I'm doing the project with!"
Shit, what kinda project then, chemistry? Seems a bit too close to be a “project partner”
The jock stretches his hand over to me and I shake it. “Nice to meet you.” he says.
“Nice to meet you too.” I reply.
THIS FELLOW HOMOSAPIEN IS DATING THIS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE HOMOSAPIEN, IT'S SO FUCKING OBVIOUS SPILL THE BEANS ALREADY DAMNIT.
Okay, I need to chill the fuck down.
“So both of you go to Centralia?” I ask
“Yeah.” Charisma replies, her “project partner” nods in agreement.
"Say, wasn't there a Chica's Party World near that area few decades back?" Dawko pipes up.
“Oh yeah, there was. You all probably already know what happened, since you are fans and stuff."
We shot the shit for a few more while finishing up that delicious gourmet pizza, but before long, Charisma and Jason have to get going. They head out in this blue hatchback that looks like it's from the 90s and barely runs. Soon, it's Dawko's turn to leave, and we wish him the best.
Ah well, now it's just the two of us and this tasty pizza. At least there's that right?
"Um… let's just… let's just go back to the hotel, I could use a hot shower, and hey, perhaps you wanna catch up some sleep and oh maybe cuddle Mr. Fredbear?"
Two for flinching, Pete.
We cross the road and head down Strawberry street to ditch our merch back at our room. We pass by those two vantablack cosplayers again in front of the parking lot-
wait hol up
WHAT
Pete stopped dead cold, no doubt just as spooked as I was. Two lots down, there he was.

CREEPY

ASS

HOODIE BOY.

...
Fuck.
Everything 'bout this guy screams "ghetto neighborhood pusher" and part of me wonders what he got in the waistband of those jeans. Black Air Max sneakers, gray hoodie and red baseball cap leaning on a pillar facing away from us while he's smoking a cig. I see something in the garage mirror-
Double fuck.
Them vantablack n!ggas are closing in.
^{"That's the guy from the-"
"I know! Keep movin, we're almost there."}
Plan's to make it to the elevator then swipe the keycard before we haul ass upstairs after locking him and his ninja thugs outside. Please Jesus I hope this works…
…
Hoodie boy's whistling now, great. Maybe he didn't see us?
Shit this is bad. I hope he's just-
… where'd he go???
"Hey homie, you got a light?"
where did-
OH GOD
HE'S FUCKING RIGHT IN FRONT OF US
FUCK
This is so fucking bad, man.
I'm about to get mugged by the Unabomber, this rail-thin dude in aviator glasses and a pedo mustache.
I feel cold, like freezer cold…
Heavy breathing…
We're boxed in by his ninja black shadow goons.
fuck, fuck, fuck. We are dead.
"Umm, sorry no, we don't smoke..."
The door is right fucking there… do we run???
“No speak english, mi amigo.” Pete says
Fucking classic Pete. A look at him, he already knows what I am thinking. LET’S NASCAR THIS BIH.
Me and Pete both run from the Vantablacks (I might just call them that now, seems like a good band name) towards the glass enclosure, hoping that we get away in time. One of them, maybe the lead-singer, extends their arms and grabs me. We on some Bendy and the Ink Machine type-shit now WHAT THE FUCK. The other I swear to Lord Almighty fuckin FLASH STEPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF PETE before grabbing him and spinning him round against the glass with a loud THUD. I grab my backpack quick and find my bible.
Momma I'm sorry for throwing this but I need to live.
“LET THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU!” I scream as I through the very expensive bible at the lead-singer of the Vantablacks-no. Not at… through. THIS IS SOME FORREAL DEVIL SHIT. WTF. He just looks down then back before he football tackles me against the glass like Pete. There's something yellow on the gro- oh. Fredbear fell out… hoodie boy gon' rob me of my phone, my wallet, AND Mr. Fredbear. fuuck.
Hoodie boy just leans on one of the pylons and watches us squirm with this shit eating grin as if he 'bout to bust us for possession while he walks over and picks up the Good Book before dusting it off. Lazily he flicks through the pages before he talks reeal low; "If there is a God, He will have to beg for my forgiveness" then he slams the bible shut with an echoing clap.
The Vantablacks are… well I don't know what the fuck but the one holding up Pete looked like Toy Bonnie,... 'cept he's no longer a toy, more like a life-sized Annabelle, but ALLL black. It's like he's just a black space cut out from all reality except for those eyes and those… teeth. That means the other guy's… like Freddy but with one ear missing...
"You two," hoodie boy points at each of us individually, "I am impressed."
THIS IS IT. OH FUCKING HELL, AT LEAST LET ME CALL MY FAMILY AND TELL THEM I LOVE EM.
"You had some really good theories back there. Well, many of them were off, some completely wrong, but for the rest? Close for the most part."
I give a nervous laugh.
“Any suggestions?”
"Two guys, each with a fascination for Fazbear's. Pete… well… doesn't matter why. As for you, Isiah…" Black Freddy turns me around to face hoodie boy. "You wanted to understand something, something that has been nagging at the back of your mind for years." Now his green eyes are inches away from my face. "You were there, weren't you? When it happened. When he took that kid."
Pete looks at me absolutely confused. I never told anyone about that.
"Fascination… obsession… all qualities of a competent journalist, but taken too far, well… you hold onto that and it will tear you apart bit… by bit… by bit…"
"The fuck are you talking about??? What do you want?!" Pete exclaims.
"Always slick on the mouth I see." He then turns to look at me once more.
"You're treading into deep waters, friend. I've seen the end of this road and believe me, it will not be pleasant."
Stepping back, hoodie boy snaps his fingers and before I know it, Vantablack Freddy and Bonnie are back right behind him. Freddy has MY Fredbear plush and is holding it like he holdin' a baby while Bonnie just stares like a damn statue.
"You can still quit while you're ahead, guys. Let the world believe those lies and half-truths about what happened."
He then shrugs. "Or, continue down that rabbit hole… who knows? Maybe you'll be the lucky ones. Nobody ever listens to me anyway."
"then why are you-"
"I'm just here to give you a warning, Freddles. A warning and a choice. Go back to your ordinary lives as YouTube celebrities, accepting the popular opinion, or continue at your own risk. What was that, ah… live or die. Make your choice."
We look at each other for just a moment, and by the time we look back, he's gone. Just GONE. Like he pulled some Criss Angel bullshit.
Best we do the same.
Running into the elevators, we rush into our suite and double lock all the chains and latch, then start making our way to the windows. I walk toward the bed and freeze.
Mr. Fredbear is sitting dead center, staring at me shiftily with his black eyes and stupid purple clothes.
Right on top of momma's ol' family bible.
So much for sleeping tonight…
 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 
Submitted in honor of the victims of the 2018 Parkland Shooting
You will not be forgotten.

NEW MESSAGE: FFEC 2017 DIRECTOR +4 OTHERS
Hello everyone! I hope all of you make it here to Harrisburg! Tomorrow will be the first day of the 20th Freddy Fazbear Entertainment Convention. You all will be staying at the Hilton Harrisburg near the Convention Center. More information will be provided in the following link...

My mind is completely blank right now. I am on a two-hour flight to Pennsylvania and I am still in shock that my curiosity and mind took me this far.

NEW MESSAGE: PETE Yo how are you doing bro, i arrived at the airport.

What have I gotten myself into?? I still can’t believe that a stupid theory and hobby have gotten me this far. I look down at my empty paper and think about what I need to say in my part of the panel.

Freddy’s was the biggest incident that has ever happened involving children at a locale of this nature. Big names have talked about this incident such as the likes of Stephen King and James Patterson, and this big tragedy has even garnered a fanbase among the paranormal investigation community. Even though it has been almost 26 years, some families are still affected by what had happened. I have spok-

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Midway through my writing, I get a text message.

NEW MESSAGE: PETE Dude, I think you need to hear this. “New development in the suicide of a 16-year old student; Police uncover deeper meaning.” Just hit the WaPo this morning. It talks about this Tanner Albright kid, who dropped out of school and went into hiding. In a nutshell, I am on to something. Tell you more at the port :)

I remember hearing about that, barely a blip on the newsfeed compared to all that coverage about the solar eclipse. That was an interesting text. Why not tell me now. You know what, screw it, I’ll just continue writing.

I have spoken at length about the so-called Missing Children Incident where five children went missing at the pizzeria back in the early 1990s, the disappearances of various night staff over the years, and the shady relationship between Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics. I am here to clear everything u-

BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ
Damnit Pete!

NEW MESSAGE: PETE Just a small check in on u. I herd the plane was delayed. Tru?

Just then, the pilot made an announcement:

“Hello folks, we are having a rough time here so just sit back for a moment. Put on your seatbelts everybody!”

You serious right now??? Even in 2017 a brutha can't get a break!
BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ

NEW MESSAGE: UNKNOWN ID I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. YOU CAN'T HIDE.

...
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK
Maybe it was just a simple prank. Let me not freak out the person next to me and piss my pants in the actual piss place.
Luckily I am right next to the bathroom.
I open the door and look in the mirror.
Yo, Isiah, chill out dude. It’s good.
I go back to my seat and go back to my music.
Oh shoot
I feel the migraine coming as the cabin rocks under the turbulence. Shit…
Pete's going to be so mad when he finds out… oh well.
Pete's waiting for me past security
“Ayyee, wassup my guy.” Pete greets me.
“Sup,” I reply.
“How long have you been waiting here, P?”
“Four hours. You hungry from that flight?”
“Yeah, let’s get something to eat.”
We walk around the airport looking for something to eat.
“Mickey Ds?”
“Hell yeah.”
We walk to the McDonald's across from us to get what I think is dinner. We wait in line to get our food. Pete orders a Big Mac and I order a normal cheeseburger with a milkshake. We sit down at the dining plaza tables and start eating.
“So how was your flight?” Pete asks.
"Bit rough," I reply.
"No shit, Isiah!" He pauses then asks, "you been taking the percs again?"
"Uhh..."
"Man, you gotta cut that shit out!"
"It's aiight… So… whatchu got?"
Pete pulls up the webpage on his iPad; it's that Washington Post article he mentioned in the text earlier, with a picture showing cops at some backwoods crime scene complete with yellow tape. The page linked to another webpage, this one being a local news site for the St. George Metropolitan Area:

Brushton Township police say that Tanner Albright, a high school student that committed suicide several weeks back, had plans to commit mass murder.
Hurricane Police Chief Clay Burke said in a news conference yesterday that detectives found further writings dated August 8 to August 20, detailing a five-step plan for a major killing spree.
An entry dated Aug. 16 said, "...this will be bigger than anything this country's ever seen, .......I've been planning this for a long time, it's going to be so much fun. They won't expect a thing. It will be a stain on American history unlike anything like it."
The entries also praised William Afton of Afton Robotics and the recently-deceased Henry Fasbach of Fazbear Entertainment, making heavy references to the series of child murders throughout the 1990s, believed to have been committed by someone impersonating a mascot at the pizzeria. An entry dated Aug. 17 said, "I'll look into those scared little bitches eyes before I kill them and watch the life pour out of their bodies like the river Nile ... have followers because I'm so awesome I know someone will follow me just like I followed William Afton's ... me and them want close to the same thing, It's going to be fun......They say oh this is horrible but they don't think like us like me Henry and William...."
Tanner's writings made heavy references to Satanism and the occult, and detectives believe the boy expected to die and then "rise again" on August 21, the day of a major solar eclipse. A memo entry dated Aug. 18 said, ".....I'm going to die doing it, I hate those people, when they interview my parents and ask how they didn't see the signs they should know it's not them it's me and it's because of how I see the world....I'll hurt and destroy something so much bigger and they'll all see....."
He had gone missing a week before his body was found nearby an abandoned bunker that he had apparently been inhabiting for the last few months of his high school attendance before dropping out.
On Thursday, the Washington County Medical Examiner ruled Tanner's death inconclusive.
Investigation into Tanner's home was rendered impossible due to a major break-in soon after the body was discovered, with the intruder stealing most if not all of Tanner's belongings and heavily vandalizing the remainder.
Police say the investigation will continue with additional interviews and review of the boy's other documents.
School counselor Harvey Dunn issued a news release Thursday afternoon, noting increased presence by law enforcement in all district buildings.

Oookay… damn. That was one messed-up kid. One look at this pasty white boy's face and I immediately think "this kid be blastin' on them fools". At least he didn't go down that route...
"And you're showing me this because..."
Pete pulls out a folder from his convention bag and shoves it to me. "Dude, it gets even weirder. This guy on Freddit, OracleIntuition, sent me these" he gestures to the contents of the folder; several photographs of a really crappy cosplay of Freddy that someone tried to make look "oh so sp00py" by wrapping red yarn all over it, dunno why.
"So it's a photo of some cosplayer, what does this have to do with-"
"Bruh, that's what I told him too. But he swears 1000% that this is the real deal, some real spooky shit. Like a real-life version of all those urban legends about the animatronics walkin' around at night? And you know the weirdest part? He says this is what Tanner meant when he said 'rise again'"
"Naw… you saying this kid turn himself into a Freddy??" I stop and think for a second.
“This is on some next level werewolf shit bro, I don’t think it’s real. It could be some really thought out fanfic.” I reply.
“Sure, whatever you say. Don’t start crying and running to me when some satanic ‘I Need Jesus’ Freddy comes for your ass.”
Yo, this is forreal on some other worldly stuff. I don’t think there is that much behind this thing, and I am a theorist who talks about dead children for god’s sake.
“Anyways, you wanna know what happened to me on the plane?” I say.
“Let me guess, the perc. I already told you-”
“No, I got this weird ass stalker level text. Sounded like someone from ISIS or some shit.” I show Pete the text message.
“How many codes have you been cracking my dude, Tanner the spirit school shooter is about to murder your ass.” Pete replies.
“This is not funny. I am hella scared right now. Why me though?”
“In all seriousness, this could be a joke or a wrong number thing. Either way it’s weird.”
“True bu-”
CAN I NOT GET INTERRUPTED FOR THE FIRST TIME.
“Hi guys, mind if I join you?” a familiar posh-accented voice says.
“Well, you could have as……. HOLY SHIT!” I scream, trying not to freak out even more.
To my surprise, it’s Dawko. The Dawko; the gamer and theorist. Is this real right now?
“Excuse my language, hello, of course you can join us.”
Pete and I give each other a glare. It’s the myth, the man, the legend, Dawko!!
“Sorry for my manners, my name is Isiah and this is Pete. I assume you are also here for the convention?”
“Oh yeah, I am. Are you part of a panel or a fan?”
“I am in the panel with my friend over here, we are under the name of ‘TheFreddleSquad’. You've probably seen our video on Freddy's, that is why we are here.”
“Ah yes I have, you are on the panel with me I think, right? I’ll check the schedule the director gave us.” Dawko looks down at his phone. “Yep.”
"So you just got here too? How was the flight?"
"Oh my God, 10 hours of torture all the way from Heathrow I swear," replies Dawko while stretching his back.
"I can't believe FazCon's been around for like 20 years, and 'cause of what? 'cause of some creepy urban legends here or there? I mean, have you seen the place? 'So come on down to mechanical bear pizza and child casino!!!'" we all get a good giggle out of that one.
We finish eating and we get all our luggage from pickup and we call an Uber.
We see our driver and he drives us to our hotel.
“Have a nice day!” Dawko shouts as he waves us off.
We wave back.
Approaching the lobby, it becomes pretty clear that we're not the only Faz-fans holed up in this joint. Already the place is full of enthusiasts and even some cosplayers. A cardboard Freddy sat down reading his tablet while some Foxy chicks (in BOTH senses of the word) hung round the pillars taking selfies. I even saw these two high as fuck guys dressed in black animal suits and I don't mean black like they used ink for the Ice Bucket challenge but like Vantablack shit.
Me and Pete get our room key from the counter and take the elevator up.
“Damn, we met Dawko.” I say.
“Yes, yes we did.” Pete replies
We get to our room and look around.
“I am glad we chose to upgrade to the two-room suite.” Pete says as he savours the moment.
I also savour it, as we examine every feature of the room, from the king-sized bed to the soft floors, everything is so perfect. While Pete flops down on the bed, I pull out my Surface Pro 4 and check the forums.
"Yo Pete check this out"
I'm on OracleIntuition's instagram account; there's a black and white selfie of a professional photographer, with images far superior to the ones Pete showed me at the airport. The caption was what piqued my interest, however:

oracleintuition Just flew into Harrisburg Intl.! Next stop, FazCon 2017!!!! 😊😄 #oracleintuition #ffp #freddy convention #fazcon

He's here?? Oh this might actually be interesting. I wonder what he has to say about the photos. But, time waits for no bruthas. We pack our gear and head off down the 20-minute walk from the Hilton to the Pennsylvania Farm Show Complex, where the FazCon is being held. Strolling past the milling tourists and congoers, we behold the massive convention center, the capital of Freddy's Fandom for the next 4 days. We take a quick power nap because we didn't go to sleep, and it's 6:30 AM and we have to arrive in an hour.
Still, that short nap's long enough for me to have this strange dream. I'm a little boy again, barely knee height and I'm at the pizzeria during a birthday party. I try to get closer but I trip and fall, and by the time I get up, the whole place is dark and empty, like in the middle of the night. Suddenly, I hear movement and a little kid struggling as he's being pushed around by this dude in a purple uniform, squealing all the while because his mouth's been covered. They disappear behind the door and I can hear muffled struggling behind it. I walk towards the door, but there's this huge stink and some weird-ass feeling I can't place. I'm scared.
The stage lights up and there's Freddy, except… where's Bonnie and Chica??? Plus, Freddy's facing the wrong way! I have a choice… go to that door or go to Freddy. I also get this tingling pressure and somehow I know that if I take my eyes off of Freddy for even one second…
Suddenly the door bursts open, breaking my concentration. Instinctively I turn to look and… nothing. Just an empty room. Oh fuck... I want, no, need to get to that door because if I don't, it's going to get me. Doesn't matter what "it" is. I break into a run, but the pizzeria seems to stretch out as my heart hammers, but I finally make it through the door, slamming it behind me. I wait for a few moments, straining to hear if what's out there's gone. Then slowly I turn arou-
 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I get up with a start, breathing heavily. just a dream, Isiah, just a dream. Shit… I shouldn't have let them photos get to me… fuck. I turn and look at the clock. Oh, 7:05, still have time. I wake up Pete, we wash our faces, and finally leave the hotel, before hailing a taxi to the Pennsylvania Farm Show Complex where the FazCon takes place.
And with that, we march headlong into the convention center.

WOW.

It. Was. HUGE.
To any '90s kid who was raised on a healthy diet of Freddy's pizza and Surge, this place was practically heaven. The halls were transformed into a giant Freddy Fazbear's pizzeria/museum with practically everything that would satisfy your inner child for days on end! There were arcades of all kinds, deluxe ball pits we could play in for hours on end, vintage Freddy's memorabilia on display including signs, posters, even some old relics like animatronics that never made it to production, each carefully labeled and presented like fashion mannequins at the mall. But instead of rowdy screaming children, the place was crammed full of excited teens and adults, many of whom were having just as much fun as they would at a Dave & Buster's. Tokens clattered as attendees queued up to play the arcade games as if this was Atlantic City instead of Pennsylvania. A group of highschoolers howled and high-fived as they won a goodstuff Bonnie plush at the claw machine. Not to mention the cosplayers. It was like back at the hotel but magnified a hundred fold, and some of the outfits were so good that it was difficult to tell whether they were just here to have fun or whether they were part of the exhibit! Passing by a Foxy and a Mangle dancing to Gangnam Style while waving around a Nerf gun, we entered a room labeled "CAM 01" just in time to watch a riffed vintage episode of Fredbear and Friends! that had everyone laughing their asses off for nearly the full 20 minutes.
After having my fun, I go to rehearsal for my panel. I see multiple familiar faces from FusionZ to WHAT Stephen King?! STEPHEN KING HOLY SHIT I JUST NOTICED. What the hell is he doing here? Isn't he supposed to be writing a book about a gay guy or something? Now I wish I hadn't sold my 1st edition copy of "Under the Dome" before getting his autograph (ugh!) I am going to go speak with him, and hopefully don't make a nuisance out of myself. “Hey Mr. King, odd seeing you around these parts?” I say. “Please, call me Stephen.” he replies. I JUST GOT PERMISSION TO CALL STEPHEN KING ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS OH MY GOD. “So what panel are you on, Stephen?” I just had to rub it in. “Panel 3.”
“Really? So am I!”
“Great! I don't really tell people this but, I am a huge fan of yours, your theories helped me write my book!”
Did Stephen King just call me one of his inspirations??????
FREDDLE SCREECH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
We stand there for a while.
“Alright then, catch you later!” I say.
Stephen walks away then waves.
"EVERYONE IN PANEL 3 PLEASE APPROACH THE FRONT FOR REHEARSAL” a man says over the speaker system
Alright… it's showtime.
It’s finally time for the biggest moment of my so-called career. I see the other panelists around me, most I met during rehearsal. I settle down in my seat while Pete plops down next to me.
“You ready bro?” Pete asks me.
“Yeah, I guess.”
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PLEASE WELCOME, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THE CONSPIRACY THEORIST GROUP WITH OVER A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE, THE FREDDLE SQUAD!!!"
Moment of truth time.
I get up to give my speech.
"Thank you! We are The Freddle Squad and it's so good to be back! Shout out to my boy Pete, FusionZ, Dawko, and the one and only Stephen King himself!"
I wait for the applause to die down before continuing. "Now, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria was the biggest scandal that has ever happened involving children at a locale of this nature. Big names have talked about the strange phenomena surrounding the restaurant, such as the likes of Stephen King and James Patterson, and this big tragedy has even garnered a fanbase among the paranormal investigation community. Even though it has been almost 26 years, some families are still affected by what had happened. I have spoken at length about the so-called Missing Children Incident where five children disappeared from the pizzeria back in the early 1990s, the unknown whereabouts of various night staff over the years, and the shady relationship between Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics. Pete and I have been researching this for the past few years and we are now here to clear everything up."
I give Pete a soft kick which means it’s his turn.
“As my partner said, these incidents weren’t accidents. The long running partnership between Afton Robotics and Fazbear Entertainment isn’t as sweet as you think. Rumors have been going around that the company owner William Afton, presumably deceased, and his good friend, the late Fazbear Entertainment owner, Henry Fasbach, who had recently taken his own life this past Spring, had a pretty good, hidden friendship when they weren’t making headlines, almost too good of a friendship. Bonding over the experience of having lost their only daughter, they plotted on getting revenge on their own creations. In Henry’s letter before his passing, he wrote 'I was absolutely infuriated and ashamed of my actions, my daughter had died in the hands of my creations. I wanted for people to know the pain.'
Henry and William's plan was to sabotage their own beloved animatronics, to prevent any future tragedy; though both William and Henry were thought to have had shady connections to various - shall I say it - suspicious suppliers and other companies, they felt confident in their success, that is until William's apparent disappearance about a decade later. Henry himself would soon vanish from public spectacle to devote to his research, shunning everyone, including family and friends. With Henry dead, and his ex-wife and nephew not talking, we can only speculate exactly what he discovered and the rationale behind his actions."
And with that we continue into our Freddle Squad spiel, enumerating the known facts about the tangled case that lay before us and then entertaining the most common theories as to what truly went down back at Freddy's. When we finish, the moderator sets up this round table like on ABC, where we discuss and debate the motives and history of the whole sordid affair. All in all, it's really fun, and we're quite proud of ourselves, now that we're talking on par with all the bigshots of this field!
"Well that was fun!" Pete exclaims in relief once we finish signing autographs and get ready to head out.
"Man Pete, we gon' get a LOT of subs for this."
"I know, right?" He finishes packing his gear and we head off to the next few panels.
As the hours go on, Pete's beginning to act a bit wack. I mean he's cool and all but I can tell something ain't right, or at least he thinks so. Keeps looking over his shoulder as if he just stuffed several iPhones down his pants at Target. And the selfies... never knew Pete to be the selfie type…
Suddenly he taps me on the shoulder. "Hey Isiah, I gotta go for a bit, wanna put these in the back?"
"Sure man! Where you gon' be at?"
"Arcade room. You in?"
"Nah, I wanna get some quality swag, want something?"
"It's cool man."
"Meet you in 30 then?"
"Yeah! Oh and one more thing,"
Without warning he pulls me close and snaps a selfie on his phone before heading off. well that was weird… I mean, really? What's with him and selfies all the sudden?
I walk through the crowd looking for anyone else I know. Oh! The photographer snapping pics of us at the panel! Imma go talk to this brutha.
"Hey, nice camera! Did you enjoy the panel?"
"Yeah, it was really illuminating! I especially liked the part where you discussed what happened to the Toy animatronics and-"
He goes on and on about- wait hol' up. I've seen this face round these parts before.
"wait a sec… aren't you that instagram photographer OracleIntuition?"
"Yup! The one and only!"
"Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy sup!" and we greet each other like bruthas do
"Those forest pics were the BOMB on instagram! Where you take those, Yellowstone?"
"Rockies in fact, heh heh" Isaac replies with a toothy smile
"Run into any bears in the woods?"
shit… me and my big-ass mouth...
For one half of a split-fucking-second he look at me like I stepped on his Nike Air Jordans, then gives a forced giggle.
"No bears, no stairs."
"Aw man wouldn't those be nasty!"
this nigga be tweekin, man! Alright, think man, this is your chance!
"So, uh, what's your favorite animatronic?"
"Mine? Well, normally it'd be a toss-up between Bonnie and Freddy, but now I think I'm more of a Bonnie person-"
"Oh? What happened?"
He looked away for a bit then mused, almost as if to himself,
"Do you really think Henry and William got all of them?" He looks at me, and I feel like he's putting me on the spot.
"Well… " I begin. "Those two made a lot of the guys, who knows if there's one still lying in a dumpster somewhere and we don't even know about it…"
He didn't like that, but cat's out, so time to get direct.
"Why, you think Freddy's comin' for you?"
He bites his lower lip in thought before whispering,
"Utah Museum of Architecture and Robotics… you… you saw the pics, right?
he knows
"Yeah… but don't you think..."
"That it's a load of bear shit? That he's dead and that's it?"
Now he's getting in my face, eyes pleading.
"Listen bro, I don't know what the HELL that was, but what I saw, what I felt... That ain't natural. The more I look, the worse this whole Freddy stuff appears."
I nod, not really understanding what he's getting at.
"Look, I like what you do a lot, hell I've gotten many of my friends to subscribe to Freddle Squad themselves. But if there's one thing to keep in mind, it's-"
Isaac suddenly gasps and turns green before giving me this wide-eyed stare as he stammers; "I-I-gotta go. Catch you up later?" Before I can reply he speedwalks off towards the restrooms. Looking around, I can't see what could have possibl-
NO.
FUCKIN SATAN FREDDY IS HERE???
"Agh you fucking kids, I'll get even with you for this I swear to God!"
Freddy flails around picking out the stuff sticking to his fur… oh. It's just silly string. He catches me staring. "the fuck's so funny?" then he storms off as we watch in confusion.
Well…
What exactly did he want me to keep in mind?
A guy like Isaac? If anything, now I know Isaac ain't fooling around… either he got played, or…
Well he sure as hell believes it.
Whatever…
I had two options to soothe my nerves… percs or merch. Ain't that an easy choice…
 
Upstairs there's this area labeled "PRIZE CORNER" through some huge double doors, Fazbear Security lookalikes checking for badges. And for good reason.
"PRIZE CORNER" my ass.
This area is perhaps THE biggest room in the entire convention center, size of at least two NBA arenas, all covered from wall to wall with booths selling all kinds of merchandise!!!! Funko Pops, McFarlane sets, posters and wall hangings of all kinds. Still don't know why such popular companies would still endorse such a controversial brand though, better for the fans anyways! Plus, half of the room was fanart and fan crafts anyways, including art (all kinds), plushies (all kinds), and a wide variety of cosmetic and cosplay merch including OC fursuits costing at least 3 grand each.
Wait…
Is that what I think I see? LIMITED EDITION SANSHEE FREDBEAR PLUSH? HALF OFF!?! GIMME!! I push through the crowd and run towards it like a person running from a killer (off topic, what a coincidence)
15 singles later I'm hauling this brand new Sanshee Fredbear plush I've always been wanting to have to finish my collection in some gift bag over my shoulder, ready to wave it at his face once I finally catch up to him… aaaand Pete's nowhere to be seen. Well… so much for that I guess. Seriously? Dude can't have just bailed on me so soon.
I push past a gaggle of girls dressed up to look like the slutty versions of the Classic Freddy and Friends™ and find Pete talking with this security guard who clearly wasn't a Fazbear fan, occasionally pointing at his cell to show the guard something. As I'm about to call out to him, he finishes the conversation and bumps right into me. He looks very tense, which doesn't help at all.
"Dude, Pete, what's yo problem? Look, let's go somewhere more private so that we don't look like we're slinging rocks or something."
We walk over to this secluded corner and I confront him. "Dangit, boi! You've been acting all sorts of strange since our panel, taking selfies like 'that thot over there' and lookin' around acting all weird and shit. What the hell?!" Pete raises his hands in a defensive posture as I lay it on him.
"Alright Isiah, calm down, I can explain!"
Let's hear the worst.
"You know during that panel, there was this hoodie boy sitting all the way in the back, listening to his iPod or something?" I rack my brains to recall, but nobody in particular stood out to me-
wait…
"Was it some skinny Unabomber lookin' fella?"
"Yes! Yes it was!" Pete replies excitedly. "I thought he was just some weirdo at the wrong panel but then he started following us. I'd see him out of the corner of my eye but he'd always vanish like some ghost or something."
oh great, a crazed stalker. This day just keeps getting better and better...
Pete pulls out his cell phone to show me. "Here, have a look," he opens up the gallery and clicks on one particular selfie. All I see is his stupid grin, but then he zooms in on a corner, revealing the sunglasses-wearing "hoodie boy" who clearly looked sketchy as all hell. No drug dealer would be that careless to just walk around in broad daylight… right? Instantly, I'm reminded to that text I got from that creep back in the airplane.
"And that's not all… Isiah, look." He opens up a set of new text messages sent just about half an hour ago.

I see you Good talk, by the way Look before you leap You might not like what you find

BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ
Just then, I receive a new text of my own.

NEW MESSAGE: UNKNOWN ID You can still walk away. Or don't, it's up to you.

BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ

NEW MESSAGE: UNKNOWN ID Remember, the Shadows have ears.

*Oh hell no. *
“Yo Pete, I just got two texts from the same guy……”
“Who, the one from the airplane?”
"Yeah."
"shit."
Someone is clearly fucking with us, shit, shit, shit
“Maybe… maybe this is some creepy mega fan?”
“THAT'S STILL BAD.” Pete cries.
“Hopefully this is just a joke and it's not that important. You know what, let's get something to eat if that makes you feel better. I heard they have a really good place that make pizzas as good as Freddy's not to far from here. We don’t have to be here again until 4:00, that means we have 5 hours to spend.”
“That seems nice.” Pete replies.
We move through the crowd to get to the entrance, guarded by security wearing faux Freddy’s security guard gear. These guards look like they have something better to do.
We go to the front of the convention center near the pickup area.
“Uber?” Pete asks
I nod in agreement. Pete goes on his phone and pays for the ride.
I should invite Dawko to come eat with us.

TO: DAWKO ME AND PETE ARE GOING TO EAT, WANNA JOIN?

I never got to send that text; when I turn around I see an out-of-breath Dawko running from a mob of fangirls.
“HIDE ME!” he pants. We see the uber driver pull up on the curve.
“Hurry, go!” I say, motioning him to get his ass in the car as we follow suit, pulling an OJ Simpson down Main street like a Ford Bronco chased by the po-lice.
“Shit, you good bro?” I ask Dawko during the ride.
“Yeah, I guess.”
I'm now grateful that I'm not as famous as him.
The ride drags along. We talk to our Uber driver and actually have a decent conversation. He looked hella sketchy, though. He looked familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
“Behold, Bacco's!” I say as I get into to an introducing pose.
“Wineries?” Pete says confusingly
“NAME DOESN'T MATTER”
As we enter the building, the savoury scent of pizza fills my nose as I look around. When I look, there's this extremely cute girl, sitting by herself eating.
...
and she T H I C C
Yo brutha, you got this
“Yo dudes, one second.” I tell my party of two. Hopefully no one intervenes and I can talk to her.
“Ay, hold on there buddy-boy. You trying to get some of that, arencha?” Pete says.
It’s always the black man that can’t do anything.
“Yo, what the hell Pete. “
“It’s not my fault that you made it obvious.”
“Well it’s not my fault tha-”
WHY CAN’T I GET A BREAK. STOP INTERRUPTING ME!
“You know what, let's sit over there then.” Dawko says outta nowhere
Who invited this dude to the conversation?
Dawko talks to waiter for awhile and then we somehow get a table next to her.
I settle down in my seat while the others gather around me.
this is my chance!
Ok, to hook this girl I got to start off smooth and then work my way up.
"Whoa… is that a HERO6????"
Nice way to start a conversation, nerd. What’s next, let me guess, ‘You have some nice camera lenses.’ Dafuq were you thinking?
"Yup! Just came out too; well, it's not mine, really, my sister let me borrow it for this trip."
phew! Okay you can still save this
"Really now? Where you heading?"
"Centralia, just past Route 61."
Pete raises an eyebrow. "The ghost town?"
"Yeah! It's for my journalism class up in Penn State."
"Penn State? Where you from?"
"Oh, well, me and my sister lived in Maryland before I got accepted here."
"Sweet! Pete and I came up from Orlando." I clap him on the shoulder.
"Oh! What brings you all the way up north then?"
We give her a wide grin. "Fazcon 2017 baby!" showing our VIP badges.
“oh you mean the Freddy convention? I did see the ads, plus there's quite a few costumed guys running around the place." The lady shrugs. "Oh! where's my manners, I'm Charisma."
Cute name… DAMNIT ISIAH KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!
“I'm Isiah, this is Pete. Oh yeah, you probably know him already but this is Dawko, nice to meet you.”
Dawko gives a small wave. I am about to make my move until this guy, who kinda reminds me of that one buffed up jock in a high school movie, shows up and sits right next to Charisma (she still has a cute name- ISIAH KEEP IT TOGETHER.) The guy also puts his arm around her.
Please don't tell me it's her bo-
“Oh, this is Jason, who I'm doing the project with!"
Shit, what kinda project then, chemistry? Seems a bit too close to be a “project partner”
The jock stretches his hand over to me and I shake it. “Nice to meet you.” he says.
“Nice to meet you too.” I reply.
THIS FELLOW HOMOSAPIEN IS DATING THIS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE HOMOSAPIEN, IT'S SO FUCKING OBVIOUS SPILL THE BEANS ALREADY DAMNIT.
Okay, I need to chill the fuck down.
“So both of you go to Centralia?” I ask
“Yeah.” Charisma replies, her “project partner” nods in agreement.
"Say, wasn't there a Chica's Party World near that area few decades back?" Dawko pipes up.
“Oh yeah, there was. You all probably already know what happened, since you are fans and stuff."
We shot the shit for a few more while finishing up that delicious gourmet pizza, but before long, Charisma and Jason have to get going. They head out in this blue hatchback that looks like it's from the 90s and barely runs. Soon, it's Dawko's turn to leave, and we wish him the best.
Ah well, now it's just the two of us and this tasty pizza. At least there's that right?
"Um… let's just… let's just go back to the hotel, I could use a hot shower, and hey, perhaps you wanna catch up some sleep and oh maybe cuddle Mr. Fredbear?"
Two for flinching, Pete.
We cross the road and head down Strawberry street to ditch our merch back at our room. We pass by those two vantablack cosplayers again in front of the parking lot-
wait hol up
WHAT
Pete stopped dead cold, no doubt just as spooked as I was. Two lots down, there he was.

CREEPY

ASS

HOODIE BOY.

...
Fuck.
Everything 'bout this guy screams "ghetto neighborhood pusher" and part of me wonders what he got in the waistband of those jeans. Black Air Max sneakers, gray hoodie and red baseball cap leaning on a pillar facing away from us while he's smoking a cig. I see something in the garage mirror-
Double fuck.
Them vantablack niggas are closing in.
^{"That's the guy from the-"
"I know! Keep movin, we're almost there."}
Plan's to make it to the elevator then swipe the keycard before we haul ass upstairs after locking him and his ninja thugs outside. Please Jesus I hope this works…
…
Hoodie boy's whistling now, great. Maybe he didn't see us?
Shit this is bad. I hope he's just-
… where'd he go???
"Hey homie, you got a light?"
where did-
OH GOD
HE'S FUCKING RIGHT IN FRONT OF US
FUCK
This is so fucking bad, man.
I'm about to get mugged by the Unabomber, this rail-thin dude in aviator glasses and a pedo mustache.
I feel cold, like freezer cold…
Heavy breathing…
We're boxed in by his ninja black shadow goons.
fuck, fuck, fuck. We are dead.
"Umm, sorry no, we don't smoke..."
The door is right fucking there… do we run???
“No speak english, mi amigo.” Pete says
Fucking classic Pete. A look at him, he already knows what I am thinking. LET’S NASCAR THIS BIH.
Me and Pete both run from the Vantablacks (I might just call them that now, seems like a good band name) towards the glass enclosure, hoping that we get away in time. One of them, maybe the lead-singer, extends their arms and grabs me. We on some Bendy and the Ink Machine type-shit now WHAT THE FUCK. The other I swear to Lord Almighty fuckin FLASH STEPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF PETE before grabbing him and spinning him round against the glass with a loud THUD. I grab my backpack quick and find my bible.
Momma I'm sorry for throwing this but I need to live.
“LET THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU!” I scream as I through the very expensive bible at the lead-singer of the Vantablacks-no. Not at… through. THIS IS SOME FORREAL DEVIL SHIT. WTF. He just looks down then back before he football tackles me against the glass like Pete. There's something yellow on the gro- oh. Fredbear fell out… hoodie boy gon' rob me of my phone, my wallet, AND Mr. Fredbear. fuuck.
Hoodie boy just leans on one of the pylons and watches us squirm with this shit eating grin as if he 'bout to bust us for possession while he walks over and picks up the Good Book before dusting it off. Lazily he flicks through the pages before he talks reeal low; "If there is a God, He will have to beg for my forgiveness" then he slams the bible shut with an echoing clap.
The Vantablacks are… well I don't know what the fuck but the one holding up Pete looked like Toy Bonnie,... 'cept he's no longer a toy, more like a life-sized Annabelle, but ALLL black. It's like he's just a black space cut out from all reality except for those eyes and those… teeth. That means the other guy's… like Freddy but with one ear missing...
"You two," hoodie boy points at each of us individually, "I am impressed."
THIS IS IT. OH FUCKING HELL, AT LEAST LET ME CALL MY FAMILY AND TELL THEM I LOVE EM.
"You had some really good theories back there. Well, many of them were off, some completely wrong, but for the rest? Close for the most part."
I give a nervous laugh.
“Any suggestions?”
"Two guys, each with a fascination for Fazbear's. Pete… well… doesn't matter why. As for you, Isiah…" Black Freddy turns me around to face hoodie boy. "You wanted to understand something, something that has been nagging at the back of your mind for years." Now his green eyes are inches away from my face. "You were there, weren't you? When it happened. When he took that kid."
Pete looks at me absolutely confused. I never told anyone about that.
"Fascination… obsession… all qualities of a competent journalist, but taken too far, well… you hold onto that and it will tear you apart bit… by bit… by bit…"
"The fuck are you talking about??? What do you want?!" Pete exclaims.
"Always slick on the mouth I see." He then turns to look at me once more.
"You're treading into deep waters, friend. I've seen the end of this road and believe me, it will not be pleasant."
Stepping back, hoodie boy snaps his fingers and before I know it, Vantablack Freddy and Bonnie are back right behind him. Freddy has MY Fredbear plush and is holding it like he holdin' a baby while Bonnie just stares like a damn statue.
"You can still quit while you're ahead, guys. Let the world believe those lies and half-truths about what happened."
He then shrugs. "Or, continue down that rabbit hole… who knows? Maybe you'll be the lucky ones. Nobody ever listens to me anyway."
"then why are you-"
"I'm just here to give you a warning, Freddles. A warning and a choice. Go back to your ordinary lives as YouTube celebrities, accepting the popular opinion, or continue at your own risk. What was that, ah… live or die. Make your choice."
We look at each other for just a moment, and by the time we look back, he's gone. Just GONE. Like he pulled some Criss Angel bullshit.
Best we do the same.
Running into the elevators, we rush into our suite and double lock all the chains and latch, then start making our way to the windows. I walk toward the bed and freeze.
Mr. Fredbear is sitting dead center, staring at me shiftily with his black eyes and stupid purple clothes.
Right on top of momma's ol' family bible.
So much for sleeping tonight…
 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 
Submitted in honor of the victims of the 2018 Parkland Shooting
You will not be forgotten.