Come one, come all, And join the fight against the treacherous Globaloffensive. They must be punished for their evils such as creating Child Gambling Websites, and stealing the "5 More Minutes" Steam award, That should've been given to *literally any other game*. Come and Join the Grand Coalition, May our armies have low maintenance, and our turns twice as long!
Random acts of gifting items in the game Counter Strike: Global Offensive. Make someone's day a bit better here, and maybe get a gift yourself.
It's starting to get out of hand with those csgo, tf2 skins betting and gambling sites, there is just so many and new ones pop up every day
it's obviously not how steam accounts and the steam market is suppose to be used...making bot accounts and gambling on skins
i was just curious to know if steam has ever touched on this topic? does valve/steam denounce them? since they rely on steam api, will they try to stop them from operating?
submitted by I found TF2 around 2017, but never bought it until it came to Steam. I love it so much. The gameplay is good, the movement is fluid, and the community is suprising kind for an FPS. I'm still surprised a $5 game from years ago can compete with a AAA releases nowadays. Nowadays we have microtransaction, P2W and gambling. In TF2, if you buy a DLC or item you get it outright. You dont need to gamble hundreds of dollars and get thousands of shit cosmetics that change the RGB just for that one legendary which doesn't even look that good.You just buy the (quite cheap and well worth it) DLC packs, and you get them. That's not even including the regenerating you do with pilots, weapons and titans which give you new skins and looks. It's a game design that I love. It shows how the devs actually care about the game, and how it's not a Cubeworld or a Fallout 76 cash n go scheme. I need more of this in my life. All I can hope for is that TF3 doesn't fall to corporate greed, and ruin the reputation the franchise has going for it.
TL:DR. Got TF2 for 5 dollars, is better than AAA games, and I am excited for TF3 even though I'm not an OG. I hope that it gets more recognition when the sequel releases.
submitted by I have 0 understanding of what in the hell is going on anymore in tf2. I just am trying to play, when it's not the bots causing trouble, the people refusing to kick them for no reason other than 'it's not causing me trouble' making me more miserable. Then there's the people that insist on trying to make as deep a wound under your skin as possible, taunting after every kill...
I say one thing and suddenly everyone in the chat is complaining whining or arguing like a complete nutbar, votekicks happening at complete random for no reason. It's gotten to the point where I see people being kicked for 'sticky spamming' now.
This is all after the fact Casual has become... well, the thing that snapped tf2 in half more or less in terms of fun. Gambling on crates is one thing gambling on teammates or joining a game that's 2 seconds from ending cause there's no 'join games not in progress' options. I can't tell if I'm losing my mind or not. I try to ignore it all, but everything becomes impossible inevitably.
And all I hear in the end is 'Git Gud.' My will to live is shrinking as the things I love become corrupted progressively past a point.
submitted by Games like Overwatch, CSGO and TF2 have lootboxes and microtransactions. They don't really seem to have much controversy apart from regional concerns whereas some other games like Battlefront II, Fifa, NBA 2K and Call of duty get so much flak for them having it. Is there something that these games are doing wrong or right with how they handle microtransactions? I would like an explanation for that please.
submitted by 「Ok, since the things have somewhat calmed down, I suppose I can post this without it getting lost into oblivion」
Previous Episodes:
Prologue,
Episode 1,
Episode 2,
Episode 3,
Episode 4,
Episode 5,
Episode 6 Next Episode:
Episode 7 Part 2 「
WARNING! THIS EPISODE MAY INLCUDE IMAGES OR SOUNDS THAT CERTAIN AUDIENCE MAY FIND IT DISTURBING」
The SMG4 logo pops, with the text "Inspired from *Glitch Productions logo* work" with next one being the UnepicDumbass logo (I will show it when the opportunity comes, not to worry)
On a mysterious rogue planet, far away from any sign of civilization, in Splatoonverse...
It was an average night on this bizarre planet. Purple flowers, in the shape of a truncated icosahedron with a glowing blue pollen core, were filling the plains, while 60 feet tall trees with their cone-shaped leaves were scattered throughout the landscape. The trees' fruits, an elongated green apple with bioluminescent green and yellow strips, were taking over the trees' top, making its tip glow in a lime light. As one of those fruits falls on the ground, a two-jawed six-legged squirrel with a fluffy scorpion tail takes the fruit into its underground den, at only 3 feet away from that tree's roots. Next to another tree, there was a hill which had a bunker door, a red glowing light above the door and a pale white crocodile head with two legs and a tail attached to it, guarding the door with as if it's own life depended on it. The bizarre facts were the fact that this planet has actual wildlife, the fact that the planet isn't freezing at any time and it has one of the most spectacular skies you could ever see: distant galaxies being very visible, spiraling through the emptiness of the space, many even more remote and distant stars, twinkling fabulously in the skies, and as a couple of small black clouds were popping into the starry night, two small shooting stars appeared to soar the skies.
Eventually, a cargo spscecraft lands not too far from the hill with the door. As the door opens a trail of smoke comes out...
Vicetone & Tony Igy - Astronomia starts playing (from second 0:16) --- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iLBBRuVDOo4
...And out of the ship come 3 inklings and 3 octolings, all black-skinned and in tuxedo, carrying on their shoulders a coffin that has been labelled with gold "WooF". They leave the coffin on the ground and return to their ships, which then closes the door once the crew is back in...
Music stops
...Then they start the engine, and soon the spacecraft makes some noisy liftoff before eventually disappearing in the starry sky. Suddenly, the bunker door opens, revealing a robot that shares the same structure as Wall-E, except for the head, which is a big black screen with some white eyes and mouth as its face. The robot itself was really small: only 3'1" tall, the albino crochead was almost reaching the bot in height. The robot lifts the coffin above its head and brings it into the bunker, which has a pretty steep entrance. Now we get the chance to hear the robot's voice for the first time, as it starts singing.
??? (Voice: RoboSoft Three, with pitch at 185 and speed at 180
(to get an idea, visit this link https://tetyys.com/SAPI4/ and insert all the mentioned properties)): "Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo, baby shark doo doo doo doo doo, baby shark doo doo doo doo doo, baby shark!"
Crochead (Not a name, but let's just call that thing crochead)(Voiced by Heavy from TF2): "Sooo... Where's my sandwich, Mach?"
Mach: "Well, I have an idea, but let's just say you won't really want it back anymore once you hear it"
Crochead: "I am listening..."
Mach: "Hmmm... Shall I make it a riddle? Maybe... What about this:
The one that stands tall within his power, in an abando-"
Crochead (The act wasn't very effective): "AAAGH, JUST TELL ME WHERE IS MAH SANDWICH!"
Mach (Pointing to Wing Fury): "In his tummy"
Crochead (still Heavy voice): "
Sh@t!"
As they finally reach the inside of a room, they are greeted by Wing Fury, a former FISS agent (Federal Investigating Society of Splatoon) which was taller than the robot and croc altogether (and since the croc is somewhere at 2'4", which means that Wing Fury is actually 5'5", which is pretty tall for the average octoling),which was just looking at them, standing next to the Decorruptor, menacingly, while the bot just leaves the coffin on the floor.
The Decorruptor was a quantum computer with its monitor measuring at 10'8" width and 6'9" height, mostly surrounded by wires and displays a holographic keyboard. The keyboard had inkling language characters instead of our regular Latin alphabet characters.
Mach: "Hey Boss, brought the coffin! So... What have you ordered?"
Wing Fury: "Just the usual. Some food, water, batteries and a hyperclursor. But I also bought..."
And as he says that, he approaches the coffin and opens its which reveals what he previously mentioned, plus a tiny golden marble with a hole which shines blue light out of it. He pulls it out with his right thumb and index and shows it to the two.
Mach: "... A marble?"
Crochead: "SANDWICH!"
Wing Fury: "No... and f¥ck no, crackhead" (Crochead is now emotionally hurt.
1 updoot=1 prayer) "This thing is called an
"Astrephani Pandimensional Transversal Alternative System". Or an Aptas."
Mach: "Atlas would've sounded better Boss"
Wing Fury: "What can I say? It was already taken"
Mach: "Yeah... But Boss, for how long have you been here in this pri-"
The alarm sounds. As red lights start to pop everywhere, Decorruptor is on high alert, Wing Fury takes out a deatomizing blaster and points it to the entrance hall. The Decorruptor starts continuously shouting in a feminine voice "WARNING! WARNING!"
Wing Fury: "YOU FORGOT TO LOCK THE DOOR!?"
Mach: "I thought it wasn't necessary"
Wing Fury: "WHERE THE F€CK DO YOU THINK YOU IN!? A CAVE!?"
Mach: "But wasn't this all just naturally formed caves back when you made this?"
Wing Fury: "YOU KNOW WHAT I F&CKING MEANT!"
Mach: "Actually no-"
In a split of a second, a pitch black with red outlines and eyes silhouette of an inkling, a Jan Timbergen's Syndrome replica, jumps into the room and installs a bomb and immediately then triggers it, starting the timer, while slicing the crochead in two halves.
Wing Fury: "SH@T! F@CK F#CK F$CK!"
The silhouette giggles with a somewhat creepy voice then attempts to flee, but gets desintergated on the way by Wing Fury.
Wing Fury: "
You f£ckin' b@$&h! Mach: "Oh no, Uh oh stinky, ah nasty, oi Josuke-"
Wing Fury (while knocking down Mach with a brick): "
JUST SHUT YOUR B@#¥H ASS!"
Wing Fury now looks at the Decorruptor, terrified that he may lose the progress he has done so far with her forever. During Wing Fury's current emotional crisis, Mach ventures to the Decorruptor's rear.
Wing Fury: "NOOOOOOOO!! YOU CAN'T JUST DIE IN FRONT OF MY EYES!!"
Bomb (Voice:
RoboSoft Four with pitch at 196 and speed at 160): "ha ha computer goes boom boom in 30 seconds... 29... 28..."
Wing Fury: "
F@@%#@&&$
@€@$¥€@¥₩-*" Mach (From behind the Decorruptor): "Hey Boss, I found the memory core, shall we take it?"
Wing Fury: "YES! WE TAKE IT!"
Mach pulls out the memory core, the bomb goes tick tock till boom boom time, Wing Fury takes Mach away from the computer and opens the portal by activating the Aptas, which shouts in TF2 Heavy voice: "GO GO GO!". They both jump into the portal which then closes.
Bomb: "10... 9... 8... 7... ... ... Well f@ck this"
KA...BEE!- At the planet's orbit
We would first see for a small split of a second a tiny ass explosion nearby the planet's north pole, before seeing the whole planet explode and shatter into hundreds of giant chunks that now float through the space.
Back into SMG4 Universe, at SMG3's lair...
SMG3 (While typing on his Dank computer, with Heavy's voice): "
OOH-HOO-HOO, OOH-HOO-HOO! Let's do this."
Team Fortress 2 - Seduce Me! starts playing - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YojvbhKOxMc
SMG3 starts to hack into SMG4's Twitter account. He succeeds to take over! Now he posts an image with Long SMG4 sawing Beeg SMG4 in a half with a chainsaw with the title "
Beeg is big gay & I succ PPs for monee". He posts it on his Twitter account and now manically laughs as he knows he just ruined SMG4's reputation.
SMG3: "HAH! That fatass is now in such big trouble!"
And (believe or not, magic exists) without a warning, Wing Fury and Mach fall from the ceiling and land on SMG3 (Heavy "
DAAAAAAAAGH!").
Music stops
As soon as Wing Fury regains consciousness (which only took five seconds after the landing), he jumps away from SMG3 and when he lands, he pulls out the deatomizer he previously used to disintegrate the JT'sS replica, which then points it to SMG3, while Mach only bothers to get away from SMG3 as soon as he sees the deatomizer. SMG3, waking up in a situation of life and death, starts crying for mercy,.
SMG3: "
p-please don't hurt meeeeeee"
Wing Fury (EDP445 voice): "
Identify yourself, who the f@ck are you!"
SMG3: "SuperMarioGlitchy3, the ultimate memelord!"
Wing Fury: "
What is that?"
SMG3: "A memelord... is the lord of the memes"
Wing Fury: "
What the f#ck is that!?"
SMG3: "I guess you are new here then..."
Wing Fury: "How can one be the lord of some cultural imitations!?"
SMG3: "I haven't said culture lord, I said MEMElord"
Wing Fury: "But isn't that the same thing?"
Mach: "Wait, are you referring to those images or texts of humorous nature, usually understood by depressed juveniles that lack social skills?"
SMG3: "Except for the big sad kids part, yes, that is the correct definition of a meme"
Wing Fury: "I still do not know how can one be the lord of memes, no matter which definition are going for."
SMG3: "O-hoo, a memelord is a memer that makes and knows high-quality memes that make your burst in laughter."
Wing Fury: "They make one to burst in laughter? Heh, pathetic. Who can be so idiotic to laugh at some images and texts?"
SMG3: "Hoo-Hoo, I can grant you WILL laugh at MY memes"
Wing Fury: "Bring it on then, SuperMarioGay the Third"
SMG3: "HEY! WATCH IT!"
But Wing Fury couldn't care less and loads the deatomizer with a hyperclursor that refills the antienergtic tank, being ready to disintegrate the next target.
Wing Fury: "You were saying?"
SMG3: "Ok ok... weeb furry"
Wing Fury: "I am just gonna pretend I haven't heard that"
SMG3 goes to his computer then opens his Instagram page, showing up some of his best memes. SMG3 wheezes loud, Wing Fury just glances at those memes without revealing a smile and Mach is just searching now through the scrap junk SMG3 has left (which consists of all his mechanical failures, plus extra scrap metal which would be later used for other projects). At the point of reach at SMG3's third best meme, SMG3 was laughing like he never heard of a good joke and just discovered that he can laugh that hard, while Wing Fury was more and more disappointed of all those memes.
SMG3: "
Look at the top of his head! insert look-at-the-top-of-his-head-laughter.mp3 Wing Fury: "Please do tell me..."
SMG3: "Ah-Haaa! He he... What?"
Wing Fury: "Tell me those were the worst of your "memes"."
SMG3: "We already are at top 3 of my memes!"
Wing Fury (JonTron voice clip moment): "
WHAT!?... WHAT THE F@CK!?"
SMG3: "Oh-Hoo, prepare for the next meme... FOR IT IS THE SECOND BEST MEME!"
It is the very post that he made and posted it on SMG4's tweet. Not only he is cracking in laughter while Wing Fury glances at his laughter, worrying about his mental health, but now even Mach, which has some sense of humor, cannot laugh at that meme.
SMG3 (kid voice): "
Awww come on!"
Wing Fury: "You failed to make me even smile"
SMG3: "Okay then... prepare for the ultimate meme... I have saved it specifically for such situations..."
SMG3 now starts browsing through Rule34 website. Wing Fury sees all the p@rn sh#t there is on the home page.
Wing Fury (JonTron voice clip moment): "I don't like where this is going"
He now clicks on the "SMG4" tag and now shows even more immoral sh@t.
Wing Fury (JonTron): "
STOP!"
SMG3 now clicks on the "Meggy" tag. At this point, Mach was beyond disgusted and Wing Fury, horrified.
Wing Fury (JonTron, but louder): "
STOP!!"
And now SMG3 clicks on the meme he was willing to show: a boomer version of Beeg SMG4 kissing kid Meggy on forehead with the captions "Don't worry, sweetheart... It's just our little secret", but before Mach even manages to get a good glance...
Wing Fury (
Earrape JonTron voice clip moment): "
STOP!!!"
Then he disintegrates the computer the immediately after his words. SMG3, knowing now he lost his computer, starts to cry on the floor, while Mach just started to review his life.
Wing Fury (Dr. Phil voice clip moment): "*Are you delusional? Do you... do you suffer from a mental illness? Do you think you do?"
SMG3 (I still love you voice clip moment): "
NAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAaaaaaa!!"
Mach (TF2 Spy voice): "Well, that was idiotic"
SMG3: "I OFFERED YOU THE BEST MEMES AND THIS IS HOW YOU REWARD ME!?"
Wing Fury and Mach just look at him, then at each other and nod.
Outside SMG3's lair, somewhere in the western area of the Industrial district
We now have the opportunity to see SMG3 flying through his lair's roof, with his butt leaving a flaming trail, while he screams "MAH PEENIS!!".
Back inside the lair
Wing Fury (JonTron voice clip moment): "
Well that was a load of sh@t"
Mach: "Shall we report him to the local authorities for pedophilia and creepy lewds?"
Wing Fury: "Nah, I think committing Arson on his airborne ass is enough for him. Besides, we destroyed his computer, while he destroyed our mental health."
Mach: "Alright then Boss, where are we heading now?"
Wing Fury: "Well, I guess we can go for the universe GBD-44K, I heard there are high odds of becoming rich. Now where would that Aptas be-"
Crack. The Aptas is now scrap junk too...
Mach: "I guess we found it Boss... But not in a functional state"
Wing Fury (TF2 Heavy voice): "Sh@t!"
Mach: "Now what, Boss?"
Wing Fury: "Well, all it takes is to find someone skilled enough to repair this!..."
And as they both go outside, they notice how retarded is this place: Ugandan Knuckles and drunk Toads fight for that last chicken nugget, drivers drive into electricity polls, kids beat the shit out of themselves, even an old man dressing as a princess just to get some booty.
Mach: "...If there is anyone skilled at all."
Wing Fury: "Good point..."
Meanwhile, at UD's House, 10:01 AM
The Glitchbusters are playing poker while Genericvillagerone reads about Harry Potter's sexuality and UnepicDumbass plays Clash Royale.
Deep Sea King, not being familiar with anything regarding gambling or cards... Or anything related to it, besides luck. He tries to peek at Toad's cards, but Toad gets to slap his face (which however wasn't a painful experience, since we are speaking of a big ass monster getting slapped by a human mushroom with the same strength of a child).
Toad: "WATCH IT! I AM FLUENT IN OVER 500 MILLION WAYS OF KICKING YOUR ASS!"
Deep Sea King: "And I only need one way to kick your ass to death in an instant, so why bother trying to kick mine anyway?"
Jotaro: "
SHUT UP! Can't you see I am struggling to know what cards to use!?"
Archibald Senior: "Definitely not his poker face"
Sepiroth: "Shall we start to put the cards now?"
Jotaro: "Alright... *sigh* I'll call."
Toad: "All in, baby!"
Deep Sea King: "... I quit"
Sepiroth: "I'll call too. Archibald?"
Archibald Senior: "I have decided to commit "All in" aswell"
The dealer (which also was a Toad) deploys the card combination: A Royal Flush of Clubs.
Sepiroth: "Crap"
Jotaro: "I shall see if I have the good hand"
Jotaro puts his hand: a Heart Ace and a Spade 7. Now he patiently waits for others. Sepiroth plays a Diamond 3 and a Heart 4. Toad plays a Spade and Club Cowboys (2 Kings).
Toad: "Ha-Haa! All left is just see how hopeless Archibald's hand is now!"
But Archibald Senior keeps smiling. And as soon as he winks, he plays his hand: Spade and Club Bullets (2 Aces). Toad is internally dying while Jotaro and Sepiroth now glare at Toad's emotionlessly grinning face, both slightly shocked by the plotwist.
Archibald Senior: "Oh yeah! Now we are talking!"
He takes all the tokens he won which are worth in total 250.000$ (Most of that cash previously belonged to Toad). As he sees this, he manages to hide a part of the pot under the table (That part being exclusively candy and sugar). UnepicDumbass finishes his session of Clash Royale and, as soon as he turns his head to the poker match, sees the sweet pot that Toad is trying to hide under the table.
UnepicDumbass: "Mushroom, what's with all that candy? Stole 'em or what?"
Toad ( grinning now at UnepicDumbass, with a burning desire to kill that mofo ): "I swear to God Imma gonna snap that tiny ass neck of yours and turn your spine into a sou-"
Archibald Senior: "Bruh, you hiding pot?"
Toad: "
Awww hell naw!"
Archibald Senior: "Show me your hands, bruh"
And Toad puts his hands on the table, leaving the candy on his legs (which were BTW holding on very tight on that stash of candy).
Toad: "See? No candy!"
Jotaro summons Star Platinum (sadly for Toad, he is not a Stand user so he cannot see Star Platinum) which then takes the candy away from Toad's legs and puts it on the table. Toad is now in utter shock and disbelief that not only there is a ghost, but also that ghost gave the candy to Archibald Senior which without any hesitation takes away the candy and puts it in a bag. UnpeicDumbass looks in slight jokey shock when he saw Star Platinum taking the candy, doing some stupid face like •0•, while GenericVillagerOne just keeps reading about Harry Potter and his more-than-just-platonic relationships with Ron and Hermione.
UnepicDumbass (Mario's voiceclip): "
Oooooooh, very scary"
Toad: "Give... Me... Back..." (Voiceclip moment) "
mmmy precious."
Archibald Senior(TF2 Engineer voiceclip): "
Nope"
Toad: "Give... It... Back..."
Archibald Senior (again): "
Nope"
Toad pulls out a shotgun, pointing it at Archie's head.
Toad (TF2 Scout voiceclip): "
Clippity clop, mothaf@ka!"
But just as soon as Toad fires the shotgun (Insert Heavy's voice saying
POW!!), Archibald Senior
magically pops next to GenericVillagerOne while holding the bag of tokens. Everyone (except for Toad, who was beyond pissed, and GenericVillagerOne) was surprised to see Archibald Senior not only unharmed but also to notice how fast he had to be to reach GVO in that instant.
Toad: "GIVE ME BACK MY SWEETS!!"
POW!! POW!! POW!! POW!! POW!! POW!! Toad was gone mad, shooting in all directions just to actually shoot something from Archibald Senior. Archie eventually swiftly takes away the shotgun and throws it like a frisbee through the window, flying and flying... and flying away.
Toad: "JUST GIVE ME BACK MY BAE!!"
UnepicDumbass: "An apology for ravaging my house with a shotgun would be appreciated."
Toad (JonTron voice clip moment): "
F#CK YOU!... I AAAAIIIIIIIIIN'T HAVING THAT SH@T!!"
UnepicDumbass, due to disliking Toad's attitude, decides to smash Toad's balls. And so he does: a single swing from his left arm and Toad's descendants can be now considered gone. Toad, screaming in pain, started to cry like a baby, except that the volume is the equivalent of someone shouting into a megaphone.
Toad (Girly scream): "
EEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
UnepicDumbass: "You can be an ass all day, but you don't just fire like a deranged gunman and dare not to apologize for any damage you have caused... b@tch!"
Meanwhile, somewhere in the Industrial Sector...
Bossfight - Okiba Crackdown starts playing --- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PgFWP391ZOs&list=PL_tVMgfjDiV5BLRGKPawQipp_qma7rlcR&index=6
Wing Fury and Mach venture throughout the city, looking for any sort of transportation. Unfortunately, all taxis are either busy, sleepy or just straight up don't wanna show up to work. We get to see scenic views of the sector as the two walk through, including a narcotic stand at which a customer, a boomer Karen, shouts "
RAISINS!", some trash cans flipped upside down in which old hobos get to live in and some high as f@ck kids walking on the street as cars almost hit their asses.
Wing Fury: "I've seen homicidal psychopaths more mentally stable than these people. On what drugs are they on?"
Mach: "Boss, that's just how the regular population acts here."
Wing Fury sees some drunk inklings snorting cocaine in a schoolyard, while gun fires can be heard from the school. A couple of Goomba toddlers start cussing in Spanish a bunch of baby Yoshis and baby Koopa Troopas before opening fire to their ass.
Wing Fury: "I am so glad I cannot name this place home"
Mach: "Well, technically-"
Wing Fury: "Shhhhhhh... Don't bring it."
Music stops
Green Greens - Kirby Super Star Ultra (EXTENDED) starts playing --- https://youtu.be/xj5PMy3xGXY
They are now greeted by Kibble, a yellow Kirby with green shoes and neon blue eyes with a RPG launcher holding onto his back. Wing Fury only greets him with a disgusted look while Mach waves energetically at Kibble.
Wing Fury: "What even are y- Wait no don't tell me... a granny kidnapper."
Kibble: "Nah! I don't like grannies. Besides I neither am a fan of kidnapping."
Mach: "I want to apologize for my Boss's attitude. He has a lot of trust issues. Plus he expected more... sanity from your planet's population."
Kibble: "Wait, you guys are aliens!?"
Mach: "Actually, my Boss is from the same species that also residents here, but I suppose you could name us 'extra'-... Uuhhhh... What is the name of this planet anyway?"
Kibble: "Earth!"
Mach: "Yeah!... Extra-'earthians'!"
Wing Fury: "That is the most ridiculous name for a planet that I have ever heard. Seriously, couldn't you people be more creative?"
Kibble: "Well it isn't the brightest name for a planet, but hey, it's a humble world!"
Wing Fury gets distracted by a old hobo man asking a Boo kid for smash invitation but then the Boo kid screams for help, associating the hobo with a pedo. The hobo starts crying because "now he will officially starve to death". Wing Fury now realizes how lucky he is that he doesn't associate with those people in any way. Mach and Kibble now start discussing about each other's backstory.
Mach: "Wow! You must've had a very interesting childhood!"
Kibble: "Yeah... I failed the third grade twice then quitted school at the eighth grade. My parents try now to teach me now how to be a successful gunman and know how to gather weapons and then trade them. What about you? What are your parents trying to teach you now?"
Mach: "Well, to be fair... I never had parents. But I did had great teachers!"
Kibble: "Really?"
Mach: "Yeah! They only gave us homework worthy of 3 notebooks each class, they only tortured us with the shocker only when we didn't know atleast 80% of the required subjects for passing the class and they gave us even 5 minutes of recreation! It was splendid! I was one of the luckiest of the robotic students!"
Music stops, but also includes glass shatter sound
Kibble: "Man... That sucks."
Mach: "Huh? How does such a great childhood suck?"
Kibble: "First, you had no parents. Second, you had TONS of homework to do as a kid. Third, they tortured you for not knowing 80% of the subjects!? I have been congratulated for knowing 60% of them! And fourth... You only had 5 minutes to play games or relax? Crap, man! That really sucks! Sorry for your loss of the first 16 to 18 or whatever years."
Mach: "Ok, maybe the fact that I had no parents was rather disappointing... but I am not the first robot that has no parents. In fact, robots without parents are actually-"
Wing Fury: "Yeah yeah yeah you had an edgy childhood, I don't give a f#ck about it. I didn't bought you to tell me stupid ass stories."
Mach: "Oh... My apologies Boss. I didn't knew my childhood would matter so little to you..."
Kibble (Voice clip)(speaking to Wing Fury): "
Really n@$&a?"
SMG3 shows up, with his ass no longer on fire. He sees Wing Fury, and starts rushing to him.
SMG3: "HEY! YOU!"
Wing Fury: "Oh my ass, not this idiot again..."
SMG3: "
YOU SON OF A B@#$H!"
As SMG3 jumps to strike a punch into Wing Fury, Kibble pops up with his RPG, pointing to SMG3.
Kibble: "
hello mothaf@ka"
SMG3 (Mario screaming voiceclip): "
MAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA!!-"
Kibble fires the RPG, launching SMG3 with his ass leaving a trail of fire (again) while he is screaming "
SH#$$##%##$#@#%@@@%!!-".
Mach: "Nice shot!"
Kibble: "Thanks!"
Wing Fury: "Hey... You know how to fix stuff, right?"
Kibble: "Surprise surprise, it's not the first time I have to fix an alien artefact! Whatcha got?"
Wing Fury gives him the tiny pile of shattered pieces of the Atpas.
Wing Fury: "Think you can fix this?"
Kibble (Bob the Builder singing voice): "
Yes, we can!"
Meanwhile, at Meggy's house, 3 PM...
Alt-Mario, Alt-Bob and Alt-Meggy are currently sitting on the couch, discussing about their boss's potential new plans.
Alt-Mario: "Hey, Bob... Got any ideas for our plan?"
Alt-Bob: "Sadly, no... I've been attempting recently to destroy the Decorruptor's cybersecurity, but I couldn't even reach it."
Alt-Mario: "Mamma mia... "
Alt-Meggy: "Guys, since I am bored and so are you, how about a gangbang?"
Alt-Mario and Alt-Bob at unison (Heavy's voice): "
NO!"
Alt-Meggy: "Fine, virgins, if you guys wanna brag about how useless you are, go for it, but when it comes to fun group activities, you all are like 'Hell no!'. Man, no wonder I don't like your company anyway."
Alt-Meggy pulls out a fanmade Boku No Hero parody hentai manga, then goes to her room's door.
Alt-Meggy: "Since you guys are so boring, I am just gonna play with myself. You might occasionally hear moaning sounds, so don't call the FBI, okay?"
Alt-Mario and Alt-Bob just now give her a disturbed look, as if they just got scarred for the rest of their lives.
Alt-Meggy: "I'll take that as an 'okay' then."
She gets in her room and locks the door. Alt-Mario and Alt-Bob now look at each other, horrified by their colleague, when suddenly out of some rip of the space-time continuum come out (Nerified) Desti and Francis, and their boss, the man with Majora.
Alt-Mario (While respectfully bowing to Majora mask man): "Oh, your greatness, Jesah! It's such a honor to see you among us the mortal inferiors... With what purpose has your greatness arrived here?"
Jesah (
Keep in mind he doesn't speak, so he just writes his speech with red and black on the time-space continuum is such way so that anyone can read what is he saying): "First, I'd like if you couldn't treat some like some sort of God or something. I hate Gods."
Alt-Mario: "Yes, Boss."
Jesah: "Just... Call me by my name, ok?"
Alt-Mario: "Yes, Jesah."
Jesah: "Second of all, I would love to introduce to you your new minions, Desti and Francis. I suppose you can remember these two back when you two weren't Alterwritten. I could've brought a third one, but you know, your teammate is rather...
ahem (
actual cough sound) psychologically worrying."
Alt-Mario: "Oh yeah right, totally understandable."
Jesah: "Anyway, I wanted to consult you two and see to who I give which minion. Bob?"
Alt-Bob: "I'd go for Desti. She'd make a perfect one to test my machines, plus her combat skills are always welcome to our team."
Jesah: "Alright. So Mario, I suppose you will go for Francis, right?"
Alt-Mario: "Well, he'd definitely make a better minion for me. Not only he is the perfect bait into dragging any opponent into a trap, but he can also be persuasive, a quality I always am looking for when I am hiring any minion or teammate. Well, except for Meggy. You think we can give up on her?"
Jesah: "If it wasn't for the Decorruptor, you would have my blessing to do so. Which also drags me into the third point of this converation: I have some good news and bad news."
Alt-Bob: "I'd rather start with the bad news."
Jesah: "Well, it would make more sense if I would start with the good news to be fair."
Alt-Mario: "Okay, Jesah. Start with the good news."
Jesah: "The good news is that the Decorruptor has been destroyed by one of our Jan Timbergen's Syndrome replica."
Alt-Mario: "Wow that is actually great ne-!"
A loud moan interrupts Alt-Mario's answer to the good news. Now the three give that disturbed look at Alt-Meggy's door, while the two minions just look at each other, confused by the situation.
Jesah: "Onto the bad news. One: the Decorruptor's software has been saved in a disc, so it can be resurrected. Two: you guys are gonna have to get used to those sounds every time you get here for any meetings."
Alt-Mario: "To be honest I wish the possibility of the Decorruptor's resurrection would be the only thing we would have to deal with."
Jesah: "Unfortunately, that is the situation you guys are in."
Jesah reopens the the rip.
Jesah: "Oh and by the way, the guy with the disc is in this city. Where exactly? I cannot tell. But I have managed to track down the last location at which an Atpas was used, and it has been used by the same guy that was on Zeta-33B Cosmo, which is now a pile of sharp pointed meteors."
He gets in and closes the rift. Now Alt-Bob, Alt-Mario, Neri-Desti and Neri-Francis are now looking at each other.
Neri-Desti (Has the same voice as the OG Desti, except it is more wavy and buggy): "Now what shall we do, Master Bob and Master Mario?"
Alt-Mario: "Well we could start-"
Another moan, louder and longer than the previous one.
Alt-Mario: "... By getting out of this cursed place."
Alt-Bob: "Yup, that's definitely the perfect start."
And so Jesah's gang (Let's call these four people like that) gets out of Alt-Meggy's house. Alt-Meggy unlocks the door and opens it.
Alt-Meggy: "Okay so what did I miss? (She now sees her house empty)... Hey, where is everybody?"
Part 2 Coming up...
No, i'm not going to overdramatically quit the game over this. Mostly because there are luckily other legends to play in this game. Revenant is dissapointing. It's clear that he was a rushed Project with last and sudden changes. 1. Revenant has no unique walking animation. This. This is honestly horrible. Walking like a caustic this very tall and supposedly slim legend is very easy to hit. His hitbox isn't small at all. I won't even get into details why low profile and fortified has nothing to do with hitboxes, but balance doe that's for another post. 2. Revenant has no unique crouching animation. That's...yeah you can say i expect too much from Respawn but cmon. Original animation is fine usually, but revenant just looks...bad using it. I don't think the "too hard to hit" animation they had but ultimately scrapped was that problematic. Like, can't people just aim down and have a large, red cluster of nice hitbox to shoot? Also low profile would finaly make sense if he had one 3. He has voicelines about "mark for death" while he has nothing that can mark. It's clear he had the poisoned dagger as his Q before but they changed it for whatever of a joke his current Q is 4. Shadowfall event. Revenant in shadowfall is suppose to be a hitman? Really? Revenant's lore doesn't explain anything about his powers that fit some sort of paranormal demon more. It's like his previous lore they had wasn't edgy enough so they made him an anti-hero. I didnt play a lot of TF2, but last time i checked simulacrums can't do deathtotemjutsu. What i'm trying to say is, why did Revenant want an army of shadows again? Btw Shadowfall was a blast to play and i can't wait to see it return 5. His Q. Aka silence fireball. I like the idea, revenant finally has some new animation he desperately needed. Nice. Aiming with that thing isn't the easiest thing, but when you do hit it on a movement legend it's very satisfying. I like it but i think the splash radius could be a little bit bigger. 10 seconds of no traps, grapples etc. Is very solid. Shame it has such a short range while in a trailer he snipes people with it across a building 6. His Ult. Aka quicksaving. This ultimate lost me games at first. Really, sometimes it's better to not even use it and definitely don't pop it if there's a caustic in the same area. I only find use in it while fighting in buildings due to it's horrible horrible range. Really the range could be way better. But when you do it juuuust right the ultimate is very satisfying. I would reconsider atleast 1 limitation, like atleast let us heal while using it. 7. His Passive. Aka why i love this legend. Crouch walking fast is very good. I mean it's not like you could just pick pathfinder and have silent footsteps all the time due to audio issues, but let's ignore him and his 14 sec grapple while bloodhound still has "HEY, I AM HERE. PREPARE FOR ME PUSHING YOU" on 35 seconds which is an absolute pathetic ability and bloodhound is only playable because of their ultimate. Oh anyway the passives are very useful and even doe x2 climbing seems underwhelming when we expected unlimited climbing he actually climbs faster at first so yeah it's solid. 8. No melee animation, like stabbing or a swipe with his fingers forming a knife. "But Afterwhite, no legends have unique melee animations! No worries, you can buy an heirloom just for 170$ eventually and when you do you'll get 24 skins too! What a wonderful deal for something that could be welcome as free but won't because the game uses predatory methops of paying for itself so whales and people with gambling issues can fund us free game! Wonderful right? And if you don't want to, just don't buy it. Mental issues don't exist afterall and gambling addicts prefer to dumb all their money into the game by choice hehe" TL;DR Don't leak shit so we won't have an overhyped unfinished legend ever again. Adding a discussion flair as always so maybe someone proves me wrong.
submitted by I really love trading and everything related. After this update I said few times that I will quit but i can't do it! Trading is my favorite hobby and maybe one of the best ever. Im thinking about PUBG but I don't know anything about that game, and with this stupid update if I want to continue with my hobby only solution is game switch or somehow find a way to overcome 7 days lock.
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